ATM: The Bonehead and The Brain
by kaykyaka
Summary: Hunter decides to accompany his son Hayworth to Harvard while ATM get some answers as to who was responsible for Chyna's death.
1. Harvard, Are You Ready?

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter 1 - Harvard, Are You Ready?

September 20, 2023, The Sandbox

Hayworth took a deep breath and Faith Star rolled her eyes at him with disapproval as he checked his face in the mirror.  
He wanted to make sure that there were absolutely no signs of stupidity before he left for Harvard.  
"Yes you're still smart," she said with her bottle dangling from her little baby mouth.

"Yes I am smart, that's why I'm going to Harvard and I wouldn't even be going if it wasn't for you," Hayworth said and he kissed his baby sister on the cheek before turning towards the door and heading out to the DX Machine.  
He was ready to leave but Faith Star wasn't that happy to see him go.

"WAH!" she cried and LC came running out of the kitchen to see why her brother had upset her baby girl.  
"Faith Star what's wrong, why are you crying? Is the Brain being a Bonehead again?" LC asked her daughter wiping  
the tears from her first child's eyes.

Faith Star nodded and Hayworth froze at the reference to him being a Bonehead, "I am not a Bonehead, I am a Brain!"  
he stated firmly.

"You wouldn't be if it wasn't for me!" Faith Star said again and Hayworth shrugged indifferently.

"Soooo what's your point?" he asked coolly.

"You're leaving me!" Faith Star said and Hayworth ran over to her and hugged her to himself tightly.

LC smiled at the sight of her little brother hugging her little daughter, who was coming up to 6 months old.  
In those short six months Faith and Hayworth spent more time together than she would have thought.  
The reason for that was two-fold; one reason being that Hayworth genuinely loved his new little sister, the  
other reason was a little more selfish.

"I will never leave you Faith Star, you changed my life forever wih your Gift from God and I will always be grateful  
to you for that," Hayworth said to Faith Star.

"So can I come to the Harvard to see you?" Faith Star asked him and Hayworth pursed his lips.

"Its not "The Harvard" Faith Star, it's Harvard. There's only one and because of you I'm still going there," Hayworth said  
and Faith Star smiled.

"So I can come to Harvard to see you?" she asked again.

"Yes I insist," Hayworth replied.

"Okay let's get moving!" came the voice of Triple H and he grabbed Hayworth by the neck and dragged him into the DX Machine  
while LC and Faith Star looked on.

"Have fun with the Bonehead!" LC teased her brother.

"Oh don't worry he will!" Triple H replied back and the two Helmsleys left for Boston while the two Michaels waved goodbye.

"Man that is going to be one crazy college orientation," LC said shaking her head.

"Crazy college, I thought Hayworth was going to Harvard?" Faith Star said confused.

"That's what I said, he's going to crazy college, at least that's what people will call Harvard once your grandfather shows up," LC said laughing.

"But I thought grandpa wasn't going to do anything crazy?" Faith Star said remembering seeing Hayworth get down on his knees and beg Triple H  
to be on his best behaviour last night.

"Trust me Faith Star, your grandfather's best behaviour is the worst, hang around us for a few more years and you'll learn what it means to be  
a DX kid real quick," LC said and she took her daughter into the kitchen where she was making a sandwich for lunch.

"But I'm only 6 months old, how long did it take you to be a DX kid mommy?" Faith Star asked LC.

"Well I didn't know I was a DX kid until I was 7 years old, so you're looking at about 6 and a half years," LC said and Faith Star shook her head.

"Okay, in the mean-time I'll just get used to being your kid," she replied and Faith Star kissed her mother's smiling face which was beaming  
with pride right now. "I love you mommy,"

"I love you too Faith Star," LC replied and they sat around the kitchen table and ate lunch. LC took a quick glance at her watch.

"What you waiting for mommy?" Faith Star asked LC.

"I'm waiting for the phone call from the police telling me that my father's been arrested for driving naked around a college campus," LC said.

"Oh that won't happen, grandpa said that he was going to wear a flesh coloured suit instead. It took Hayworth all night to get him to sign the agreement saying he wouldn't streak," Faith Star replied and LC placed a crumbled up sheet of paper on the table.

"You mean this agreement?" LC asked Faith Star who looked at the document and tried to straighten out all the creases.

"Why does it say "SUCK IT!" where it says "Sign here"?" Faith Star asked puzzled and LC sighed, hoping that her child's ability to read at 6 months of age wouldn't end up being the bittersweet experience that it was for Hayworth.

"Let's just say your grandfather likes his clothes better when they are hanging in the closet than on his body," LC said. "And no piece of paper is going to change that,"

"Oh dear," Faith Star said. "Does Hayworth know about this?"

"This is why he asked you for help, your brother knows that his father is a total Degenerate and only the faith of a Michaels kid could help him get through his first year of college," LC replied.

"But I only helped him to stay a Brain so he could still go to college, I never did anything about grandpa being naked at Harvard!" Faith Star said.

"That's because you can't change someone else's free will, unlike you Faith Star, Hayworth cannot accept grandpa Hunter the way he is.  
So he's going to have to learn the hard way what it means to be a DX kid," LC said.

"He can do what Jesus told us to do and that's to honour our parents, make grandpa proud of him. Are you proud of me mommy?" Faith Star asked LC.

"Are you kidding? I wanna have you all over again, you make child birth seem easy," LC said. "I just wish your grandma was around to see Hayworth go to college,"

"Yeah I miss her too. I think about her everytime I take a bath. I can't believe she drowned at sea," Faith Star said and LC's face turned cold.

"She didn't drown at sea, something, or someone pulled her underwater and by God's grace I will find out what happened to my mom," LC said.

Chyna had died soon after Wrestlemania back in the spring, the circumstances of her death were highly mysterious in nature. There was even questions as to if she was dead at all since her body had not been found. She hadn't been seen in months and the Ortons were working with ATM and the ARK Angels of DX  
to get to the bottom of it. Until then LC remained hopeful that some day soon they would all have Joanie back in the DX household, safe and sound. After all someone had to keep Hunter in check, Hayworth certainly wasn't up for it and as for Shawn, his mind would soon be on his own DX lady. 


	2. Are You Kidding Me?

ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Two - Are You Kidding Me?

JFK Airport, New York City, New York

Earlier on that day, the celestial trio better known as ATM were lining up for their flight to Rome where the Pope was waiting for them.

Melina looked Trish up and down curiously; The Truth was wearing what appeared to be a waterproof outfit.

She noticed that Amy was wearing waterproof clothing as-well.

"What gives?" she said finally, "Why aren't you guys dressed like normal?"

Trish rolled her eyes, "What did you think we were doing when we said "We'll be in the bathroom changing

into our waterproof outfits"?" Trish replied and Lita noticed her tone.

"Hey I'm the Indignant one, stay cool Trish," Amy said and she slapped Melina around the head fondly.

"Ow!" Melina replied.

"Go change your Majesty before our plane arrives and we leave you in New York all by yourself," Amy said to

the Miraculous One.

"Oh alright but I still don't understand what this is all about," Melina replied her heels clicking on the ground

loudly as she hurried to the ladies bathroom taking her waterproof outfit with her.

Amy and Trish sighed and looked at each other as she went.

"She's rushing to get back for a flight we're not even going to be taking," Amy replied and Trish nodded.

"Yup we're staying right here in New York City," Trish said and Amy sighed again even though on the inside she was

more happy than she'd been in a long time. "I thought when Randy called he was going to tell me something had changed,

turns out the Oracle stands and we won't be going to work with the Pope after all,"

"YES!" Amy cried out breaking out into a Daniel Bryan inspired "Yes" chant. "I can't hold it in any longer I'm so happy I

get to stay in America with my husband instead of going to live in Rome with that crusty old Pope!"

Amy jumped around thrusting her hands into the air with so much enthusiasm that other passengers wondered if they should join in.

"Attention passengers we are now boarding flight AA67 to Rome, will all First Class passengers please step up for ticket inspection,"

The flight desk attendant said from the ticket kiosk.

Trish waved her hand at the ticket lady, "We won't be boarding so just ignore us, especially the red-head pretending she just won the big one at Wrestlemania 30,"

The ticket lady would do no such thing, "Are you Trish Stratus?!" the lady asked nervously.

"Yes I am, and that red-head over there with her hands in the air is Lita," Trish said eyeing her best friend who was now doing the "Yes" chant with everyone in line.

Melina came over and wondered if Daniel Bryan was going to Rome as-well.

"What's going on?" Melina asked Trish.

"Are you Melina?" the ticket lady asked the Queen of Egypt.

"Yes I am but you can call me Your Majesty. Are we okay to board now?" Melina asked the ticket lady.

"YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" came the roar of the passengers who had now hoisted Amy up on their shoulders.

"Hey we're not boarding, we're staying in New York City put me down!" Amy said but the passengers kept on chanting.

"What do you mean we're not boarding?" Melina asked Amy who was on her way to board the flight whether she liked it or not;

the ticket lady didn't even check her ticket. "Trish what's going on, what is Amy talking about are we staying or are we going?" Melina asked Trish.

"I have to tell you something Mel..." Trish started but she couldn't finish what she was going to say because she was half way in the air

with Amy and Melina on the shoulders of passengers who, thanks to Amy, were now all doing the "Yes" chant all the way to flight AA67 to Rome.

On flight AA67

"YES! YES! YES! YES!"

The passengers and Amy were chanting "Yes" at the top of their lungs while Trish shook her head trying to figure out what was going on.

Melina was cross about having to change out of her very glamorous clothes and into a very tight waterproof outfit.

"Trish my boobs are stuck to my chest this waterproof outfit is so uncomfortable, why did you make me wear this if we're not leaving New York City?

And if we're not leaving New York City what on God's green Earth are we doing on this plane?!" Melina asked.

"Hey I'm the Truth: Trish Stratus Orton I'll get to the bottom of this, so your boobs are sticking to your chest, is that really a newsflash?" Trish said and Melina

scowled at her best friend.

"Just tell me when you've figured it out," Melina said sticking her nose in the in-flight magazine not having a clue what to make of things;

it was pretty much like old times, except she hated what she was wearing.

Trish asked God for an explanation, when she got it she gulped.

"What?" Melina said as Trish tapped her on the shoulder impatiently, "Did you find out from God what's going on?"

Trish nodded, "Yes, we're not going to Rome," she started.

"So then why are we on this flight to Rome?" Melina said.

"Because Amy is so happy she doesn't have to leave New York her spirit is destracting the flight crew who don't realise that there's

an issue with the plane," Trish said and Melina gasped.

"Trish you have to do something we can't fly if the plane isn't working!" Melina said.

"I can't do anything about it you go talk to her, if I tell her she'll think I'm bringing her down," Trish said and Melina tried to reach Amy

but she was so happy about not having to go to Rome she didn't realise that she was going to Rome!

"Amy listen to me you have to stop doing the "Yes" chant, there's something wrong with the plane!" Melina said but the Anointed One couldn't hear her, "Amy please listen to me, these people are in danger as a member of ATM it is your job to protect them and you are putting them in serious danger by not listening to me right now!" Melina said but Amy wasn't paying any attention to her Miraculous amiga.

"Shawn I'm coming home baby, run that sweet chin music by New York City and come pick me up in ten minutes!" Amy said on her cell-phone. "Sure I can bring some clothes for Hunter," she said with a frown after Shawn told her that The Game was naked. "I love naked Hunter, can you send me a photo of him being arrested? Get a close up of the handcuffs!"

Melina had heard enough, "Amy will you please focus on somebody else besides your stupid DX family for one second!?"

"No she didn't mean you Shawn she was talking about the Bonehead, I'll call you back I think Melina's waterproff outfit is cutting off the circulation

to her brain," Amy said before hanging up on her beloved husband. "Melina why aren't you rejoicing with me? Didn't you hear the good news,

we don't have to go see the Pope!"

"Flight AA67 is now taking off will all passengers please return to their seats and buckle up we're getting news that there may be some turbulence over the

Hudson,"

Trish knew that, she also knew that this was no ordinary turbulence. Amy and Melina frowned as Trish buckled up, "What are you doing I thought you said we weren't flying?" Amy asked Trish.

"These people will panic if they know what we know, we have to stay on this plane so nobody freaks out. Don't worry we won't be in the air for very long," Trish said and Melina nodded.

"There's going to be a miracle isn't there?" she said smiling, "This won't be a tragedy will it?"

Trish nodded, "Not completely," she replied and Amy and Melina raised a suspicious eyebrow at Truth's choice of words but before they could interrogate her totally they were being told to sit down and buckle up.

When they were seated ATM held hands and prayed, "God You know all things and You put us on this journey for a reason, we trust You with our whole hearts and we will do as You have asked us today. Guide our hearts and order our steps we pray, Jesus have your way. Amen," Trish prayed.

"Amen," Amy and Trish said.

"AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!" the passengers chanted and ATM smiled.

"They were listening to us pray, this is a good group!" Amy said and ATM smiled along with the passengers even though they were three minutes from going down into the Atlantic.

Three minutes later, flight AA67 was in the Atlantic Ocean.

Nobody was hurt and everyone was rescued safely. The cause of the flight going down was discovered to be a fault with the plane. The rescue team was amazed to find everyone in such good spirits after such a terrifying experience, well almost everybody.


	3. Lady Grey

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Three – Lady Grey

New York City Hospital

Shawn came running up the stairs with Hayworth on the other end of the cell-phone begging him to hurry up and get back to Harvard.

"Hayworth calm down you'll get your watch back, I'm sure Hunter didn't know the guy was a real pimp he probably won't even call you," Shawn explained after Hunter had somehow ended up signing up to become a male escort while Hayworth was trying to get him out of the local college detention centre. "Hayworth calm down and if some guy called Giggles calls you just give him what you think your father's worth. I gotta check on my wife I'll call you right back,"

Shawn chuckled at the incredulous tone in Hayworth's voice while he entered the room where his wife was recovering from the accident in New York City.

Trish met him at the door, Truth looked fine, as did Melina but there was something wrong with his wife. "Babe, what happened to your hair?" Shawn said.

Amy's hair was grey and her eyes were too, "You look like you were scared to death,"

"I was scared Shawn, I was scared I might never see you again," Amy cried and she hugged Shawn trembling and Shawn hugged her back.

"Oh my lovely babe, you'll never lose me, you think water could seperate us? Amy that's so unlike you, you're Anointed Amy you're not afraid of anything," Shawn said but his wife was clearly scared right now so Shawn hugged her extra tight.

"Its gonna take more than that to get Amy back to normal," Trish said to Melina as they walked out of the hospital room and left Shawn and Amy to themselves.

"What happened to her Trish? Her hair, her face, her eyes, her skin - its all changed! She looks like she's seen a ghost!" Melina asked holding her head in bewilderment, her royal crown was shining in the flourescent hospital lights.

Trish went silent, "She did see a ghost," Trish replied knowing what had scared Amy so much and it wasn't the thought of losing Shawn, as scary as that was.  
"Melina I gotta tell you something but you cannot tell Shawn okay?" Trish said and Melina nodded.

"Okay what is it?" Melina said.

"I know what happened to Joanie," Trish said.

"Duh, you're The Truth: Trish Stratus Orton you know everything of course you know what happened to Joanie," Melina said.

"Yes I do but if I tell you it stays between us, not even the ARK Angels of DX know about this," Trish said and Melina froze.

"LC doesn't know what happened to her mom?" Melina said. "Trish LC and Carla have a right to know, they think she died at sea,"

"It's a little more complicated than that. Let's go to my house I think Randy should be part of this conversation," Trish said. Knowing what she knew meant that she was putting a lot of pressure on Melina

to keep her mouth shut about something the DX family didn't know.

Meanwhile Shawn was still comforting his wife who was unusually upset, "Honey stop trembling I'm here now you gotta relax. Look, I got a slideshow of Hunter's

first day at Harvard, all naked," Shawn said and Amy fell silent at the name of Triple H. Finally a few minutes later she spoke.

"I saw Chyna," Amy said and Shawn frowned at her.

"Chyna's dead Amy," Shawn said. "What do you mean you saw her?"

"I saw her in the water, she's not dead Shawn. She's trapped in the Atlantic Ocean and she can't get out and man is she pissed," Amy said and Shawn broke out in tears. "She said someone tried to kill her, someone really close to Hunter,"

"Okay Amy you need to stop talking you just went through a tramatic experience and I can't really make sense of what you're saying, in fact

you might have hit your head. Let me call the doctor," Shawn said getting up off the bed and heading for the door but Amy pulled him back with ice cold hands.

"I'm not making this up Shawn, I may look like the mother of the oldest woman alive right now but I am still Anointed and I would never lie to you. I'm telling you I saw Joanie and she needs our help," Amy said and Shawn rubbed his face not knowing what to think. His wife had just been recovered from

a potentially fatal accident, she was completely grey and she was talking about something that was still very emotional for him to talk about. There was only one thing he could say to her.

"I gotta talk to Trish," he said but when he looked outside of the hopsital room Trish was gone and so was Melina. "That's weird they're both gone, I wonder where they went,"

Shawn said and now he was wondering if Amy really did see Chyna in the Atlantic Ocean. He came back in the hospital room and sat down next to his wife.

"Tell me everything you saw when you were under water," he said to Amy and he listened intently as Amy told him what had happened on the flight that never happened. After she finished talking Shawn believed every word and he grabbed his cell-phone.

"I gotta call Hunter," Shawn said but he stopped himself. "We gotta know the whole story, I don't want to upset Hunter when we don't know all the facts,"

"When Hunter sees me like this, he'll know something happened to Joanie under that water, something horrible Shawn and to think it was someone he knows,

he'll go crazy and what would happen to Hayworth's time at Harvard? It would be cut short,"

Amy grabbed Shawn again and started trembling, she was totally shaken by what she'd seen in the Atlantic and Shawn held her until she fell asleep.

He knew that there was no way he could go to Harvard with Hunter now, he'd have to stay with Amy until she felt better, or at least until she went back to her normal hair colour. Part of him however was rejoicing over the fact that Joanie might still be alive, all she needed was to be released from whatever was keeping her trapped in the Atlantic. "Trish why did you leave, I gotta talk to you before I talk to Hunter," Shawn said as he contemplated going

to see the Ortons as his wife slept in his arms. He couldn't bring himself to leave her though and he fell asleep next to his Big Red, who had now become the All Grey.


	4. The Harvard Babysitters Club

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Four – The Harvard Babysitter's Club

Harvard College

LC wrestled her baby carrier from the tenacious hands of Hayworth who refused to let his sister leave with Faith Star.

LC pulled and eventually she was able to reclaim her child who was sleeping peacefully up until then.

"What time is it, who woke me up? I don't see a bottle so this must be a huge misunderstanding," Faith Star said to LC squinting.

"Sorry Faith Star but your uncle is being a Bonehead," LC replied.

Hayworth freaked out, "Don't call me a Bonehead! Someone could hear you, plus I don't want Faith Star to get confused and think she didn't help me get here in the first place. That's why I want her to stay with me, LC please go home and leave her here with me. I can't handle my father without Uncle Shawn, already he's gotten me the Dean's attention. The last thing I want is for the Dean to think I'm a Bonehead!" Hayworth pleaded with his sister.

"Why would the Dean think that? He's seen your transcripts he knows you're not a Bonehead and that you got into Harvard based on your intelligence," LC said. "FYI, all Deans suck,"

Hayworth sighed at LC's choice of words, "I see your hostility towards all education hasn't changed over the years," he said to her.

"Hey I'm proud not to be at college, that's fine for you guys but it would have been a total waste of time for me. I'm my father's daughter, you got mom's Brain," LC said and her voice softened at the thought of her mother who could speak five different languages.

Hayworth didn't believe for a minute that Chyna was dead but it did bother him to see how sad it made everyone because they couldn't see her around them all the time.

"We'll get mom back soon LC, please don't get upset," Hayworth said hugging his sister who appreciated it, until he reached for Faith Star's baby carrier again and it pulled it from LC.

"Hayworth come back here with my baby!" LC said running after Hayworth who ran with his niece into the campus with LC hot on his tail.

The Dean watched the three Helmsley kids running around the campus from his office window. He shook his head and turned to the father of all three who was sitting in front of him with his legs crossed over his naked body.

"Where's the robe I gave you?" the Dean asked Hunter.

"It was itchy I had to take it off," Hunter replied looking around for his cell-phone.

"Mr. Helmsley you left your cell-phone in your pants when you removed them from your body in front of the girls screaming at you from their dormitory," the Dean said.

"They egged me on, how could I say no?" Hunter said.

"If you put on the robe you can go and get your pants, although with the way those girls were carrying on you might never get those pants back. What is it about you that makes girls scream at the top of their lungs?" the Dean asked and Hunter shrugged.

"I'm a Degenerate, it comes naturally… I'm big on being natural," Hunter said and he uncrossed his legs much to the Dean's horror.

"If you want your son to enjoy his time here I suggest you keep your clothes on in front of everyone. You might like being naked Mr. Helmsley but personally I think God made clothes to cover us up for a reason," the Dean said.

"God doesn't want me to wear this itchy-ass robe, He would never want me to wear anything but what I'm wearing right now," Hunter replied and the Dean frowned at him.

"Mr. Helmsley can I ask you a personal question?" the Dean said concerned and Hunter nodded. "I think you're having a nervous breakdown,"

Hunter frowned, "That's not a question," he replied.

"I'm serious Mr. Helmsley, I think you're suffering from some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by the death of your wife," the Dean said and Hunter grabbed the Dean suddenly and got up in his face.

"My wife is not dead, she's alive you hear me?!" Hunter said and the Dean tried not to let the image of Hunter attacking him with no clothes on bother him. He'd been at Harvard for a long time and thought he'd seen it all, until today.

"Mr. Helmsley I have been in the midst of some embarrassing situations but this tops them all. Will you please let me go and put something on before I throw both you and your son out of here for good," the Dean said and Hunter backed off of the Dean and sat back down on the chair in front of the Dean.

The Dean straightened his clothes and called one of the girls who Hunter had taken his clothes off in front of and asked her to locate Hunter's pants and bring them back to the office.

After much debate the girl returned the pants and the Dean gave them back to Hunter who reluctantly put them on.

"If you are going to stay here Mr. Helmsley you are going to have to behave yourself like a grown man instead of a 12 year old boy who doesn't know the difference between right and wrong," the Dean said and Hunter pouted.

"I plan on enjoying myself while I'm here Mr. Dean sir," Hunter replied looking for his cell-phone.

"My name is Henry," the Dean replied.

"I don't care what your name is all I know is that your name sucks and when Shawn gets here he's going to tell you where to go, since I can't," Hunter said who did not take well to threats.

"How did she die Mr. Helmsley?" the Dean asked Hunter and the Game couldn't believe what he said.

"I said she's not dead!" he roared getting to his feet but then he remembered what the Dean said and sat back down. "My cell-phone is not here," he said panicking.

"One of the girls you exposed yourself to probably has it, consider your phone hacked," the Dean replied.

"But Shawn needs to know what a jerk you are I have to call him and tell him that you suck," Hunter said and the Dean pointed to the phone on his desk.

"Do you want to use my phone to call your best friend who just found out his wife almost died in a plane crash and tell him that the Dean of Harvard sucks?" the Dean said.

"Amy's fine she's Anointed, nothing will ever take her away from Shawn," Hunter replied. "Just like nothing will ever take Joanie away from me,"

The Dean frowned feeling sorry for Hunter who as far as he was concerned, was a man going through great grief. He picked up his desk phone and handed it to Hunter.

"Call him and tell him I said I hope his wife is okay," the Dean said. "Hopefully after awhile you will be too,"

The Dean left Hunter alone to make his phone call, "I'm fine you moron, you're the one who likes to wear itchy clothes," Hunter said calling Shawn hoping that his best friend would answer. The phone seemed to ring forever and as it rang Hunter realised how alone he really was. "Pick up Shawn," he said with tears running down his face, "Pick up," but Shawn didn't answer, "Shawn please, I can't lose you too. Please Shawn don't leave me behind, I can't do this without you. Please Shawn pick up, I need to hear your voice Shawn please pick up,"

"Hunter," came the warm and devoted voice of HBK. He was in the Dean's Office, standing behind Hunter who couldn't have been happier to see him. "I got news about Joanie," Shawn said and he stepped over to Hunter who put the phone down and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"What?" Hunter asked.

"She's alive," Shawn replied and Hunter grabbed Shawn and swung him around before he flew out of the Dean's Office to brag that he was right about Joanie not being dead.

"I told you Dean, I told you my wife wasn't dead. She's alive you moron, she's alive!" Hunter cried and everyone walking around stopped and looked at him. Those that recognized him as Triple H, the co-owner of DX Inc began to cheer and celebrate, knowing he was talking about Joanie. LC and Hayworth heard his voice and when they saw the smile on his face they knew why.

Hunter saw his children and waved to them, "Come here kids, Shawn just told me the best news I ever heard. Your mom's alive!" Hunter said as his children came up towards him.

"We knew that dad," LC said as Hunter hugged her with Hayworth and Faith Star.

"Why did you think she wasn't alive?" Hayworth asked his father.

"Because I didn't have any proof," Hunter said.

"Dad we're Christians, we walk by faith not by sight. You should know better than that," LC said and Shawn saw a girl taking a picture of them from a very familiar cell-phone.

"Hey that's Hunter's cell-phone," Shawn said and he motioned to the girl to give him the cell-phone. The girl took a selfie with herself and Shawn before running back to her dorm giggling loudly. "I'll tweet about this," Shawn said and he turned to Hunter. "Here's your cell-phone back. Try to keep it nearby, you're gonna need it now more than ever because I'm not going to be able to stay at Harvard with you and Hayworth,"

"Why not?" Hayworth said desperately.

"My wife is going through some serious PSTD after that plane crash in New York City and I have to be by her side," Shawn said and the Helmselys frowned at him.

"That doesn't sound like Amy," Hunter said.

"She doesn't look like Amy either, her hair's gone grey Hunter. She's as grey as a goose," Shawn said and Hunter covered his mouth in shock.

"My beautiful red-head, what did you say to her Shawn? Did you tell her I wasn't going to marry her after all? No wonder she's gone grey!" Hunter said and the Helmsleys laughed at their father's comment.

"No, she saw Chyna," Shawn said and Hunter smiled so brightly he lit up the whole area. "And she's pissed,"

"Can I see her?" Hunter asked desperately but Shawn shook his head.

"She's trapped in the Atlantic Ocean, that's when Amy saw her, she's under water and she can't get out. Something is keeping her down there but she's alive Hunter, we just gotta get her loose," Shawn said and the Helmsleys nodded.

"Okay, so what do we have to do to get her out of the Atlantic?" Hunter asked.

"Or more importantly, why didn't ATM get her out themselves?" LC asked smartly.

Hunter turned to Shawn curiously, "Is there something you're not telling me Shawn?" he asked his best friend.

Shawn nodded, "You know me so well," he replied.

"If ATM can't get her out, does that mean one of us have to get her out?" Hayworth asked and Shawn nodded.

"Well which one of us?" LC asked and Shawn looked at Hunter seriously.

"The person that put her underwater is still alive if Chyna shows up, she's going straight for him and that won't be good for Hayworth," Shawn said. "Chyna knows who tried to kill her and you know him very well Hunter,"

"Do you know him?" Hunter asked Shawn and HBK shook his head that he didn't.

"No I don't, the Ortons won't tell me. They want to protect our family and they know what would happen to him if I know who he is," Shawn said.

"Then what do I do? I can't let her stay down there Shawn," Hunter said and Shawn sighed.

"I spoke to the Ortons and they asked me to ask you if you could wait until the culprit comes forward," Shawn said.

"Well that depends, when will he come forward?" Hunter said.

"When you find out who he is," Shawn said and Hunter got upset.

"But the Ortons already know who he is why don't they tell him to come forward?" Hunter asked.

"Because they can't make him come forward, only you can Hunter," Shawn said and Hunter sighed in anger.

"So I have to figure out who this punk is before my wife can come back to her family, that ain't right Shawn," Hunter said.

"What's not right is for you to screw this up dad," Hayworth said and LC nodded. "This is all on you, you have to get mom outta the Atlantic. Prove dad that you are not a Bonehead, prove to me finally, that you are smart enough to do this. Figure it out dad and bring mom home,"

"Okay but I'm gonna need your help, I'm going to need all of your help. Except you Shawn you are of absolutely no use, I can't believe I wanted to you come back here," Hunter said as Shawn listened to his voicemail message from Hunter.

"That's not what I'm hearing on this cell-phone," Shawn said and Hunter felt stupid.

"That wasn't me I was suffering from PSTD I didn't know what I was saying," Hunter said. "Delete that voicemail,"

"Okay," Shawn said and Hunter's face fell.

"No don't delete it I meant every word," Hunter said and Shawn rolled his eyes at his best friend.

"I love you too buddy, I gotta get back to New York. Can you behave yourself while I'm gone?" Shawn said.

"Are you nuts of course he can't," LC said.

"Well then you stay here with him until he figures out who tried to kill Joanie," Shawn said.

"Shawn I have a husband to take care of, plus I got a baby girl I don't have time to babysit my father too," LC said.

"Cameron is going to be spending time in New York City so you won't be too far away from each other," Shawn said and Hunter and Hayworth frowned.

"What's Cameron doing in New York City?" Hunter asked Shawn.

"I gotta go guys see you later. Congratulations Hayworth you made it through your first day!" Shawn said hugging his god son and LC attached herself to Shawn's arm so he couldn't leave.

"Why is Cameron in New York City? Does he know who tried to kill mom?" LC asked Shawn who tried to wrestle himself away from LC.

"I can't be away from my wife for one more second, let go of me or I'm going to get Indignant up in this place!" Shawn said.

"Righteous Indignation doesn't work on ARK Angels," LC reminded Shawn.

"No but these teeth sure do," Shawn replied and he bit LC on the hand forcing her to let go and he fled out of the campus, into the DX Machine and back to New York City.

"Wow that is one fast dude, who was that?" one of the college students said.

"That was HBK, the pro wrestler and co-owner of DX Inc," another student replied.

"The guy's like 70 years old but he looks like he's 30, how is that possible?" the student asked.

"With God, all things are possible," the Dean answered watching Hunter celebrate with his family over the news that his wife was still alive. They didn't realise what their good news meant to him, who had given up on God a long time ago. Now suddenly going to church on Sunday didn't seem like such a bad idea. He tapped Hunter on the shoulder. "When you get your wife back I'd love to interview you for a journal piece I'm working on, would you be interested in letting her speak to me about her experience with death?"

"Can I walk around here naked?" Hunter said and the Dean sighed.

"Just ask her to come to my office, I don't want you in my office ever again," the Dean replied.

"You got it Henry," Hunter said and the Dean smiled at him and his family.

"Looks like Harvard is going to be crazy this year," the Dean said and he returned to his office to prepare for his meeting with the other new enrolees, Rebecca Michelle Michaels, Randy Orton, Jr, Romeo Perez Hennigan and Angelo Jericho. Something in his heart told him that he should keep them all together, that something was the Holy Spirit who was on assignment at Harvard now that the DX Family were there and He had chosen Henry to be their new babysitter while they were there.


	5. Never Been Kissed

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Five – Never Been Kissed

Carla's Cushions, Manhattan, New York City

"G'AH!" cried Big E and Carla shook her head at him.

"Sssh," Charlene McKenzie said to the big and cuddly member of New Day.

"This is a place of business, you're only here because you're cute," Charlene reminded Big E.

"I'm sorry but I just got a message from John Cena, Lita's alright but her hair ain't," Big E said and he showed the 3 C's a picture of Amy's new hairstyle.

"Wow she's totally grey," Carla said puzzled. "I gotta call my sister, can you guys hold down the fort while I go see my family?"

"Only if Big E can behave himself," Dolph Ziggler said and he threw a cushion at the loud wrestler.

"Did you not see the picture? Her hair is completely grey, if that doesn't make you scream I don't know what will," Big E said.

"So she's got the Shane O'Mac, big deal? It's just hair, now what did I do with my comb?" Dolph said looking around for it and Charlene shook her head as Big E started to comb his hair with Dolph's little pink comb.

"I don't know how I managed to work here so long without you guys, please don't go back on the road," Cassidy said to Dolph and Big E.

"We going back to Florida after we know everything's alright with ATM," Big E said and Dolph snatched his comb out of Big E's hand.

"Give me that, great now you got your greasy hair all in it," Dolph said and Big E frowned.

"Hey it was like that before I put it in my hair," Big E said defending himself and Dolph combed his hair ignoring him. "Why don't you guys move to Florida?"

"I already moved here from Florida," Cassidy said.

"Yeah why would we leave New York City, it's the best city in the world," Carla said.

"So are you going to call us from the Ortons?" Charlene asked Carla who was half way out the door.

"Actually I was going to go to Boston," Carla said and Charlene and Cassidy gasped.

"Boston?!" they said at the same-time.

"But we're working you can't just up and leave like that," Charlene said.

"Yeah why don't you go and see the Ortons, they're just across the street?" Cassidy said.

"I don't want to talk to the Ortons I want to talk to my family, now can you guys hold down the fort while I'm gone or am I going to have to take you with me?" Carla asked them both.

Big E and Dolph Ziggler exchanged glances, "Do you have a problem with Trish and Randy?" Big E asked Carla.

"Yeah, I don't trust them. They've lied to my family before I'm not going to listen to them just because they have a "Gift from God"." Carla said.

"Um, that's exactly why you should listen to them," Big E said.

"They can't lie otherwise they wouldn't be called Prophets, just because they didn't tell you want you wanted them to tell you when you wanted them to tell it to you, doesn't mean that they lied to you. They only tell you what God wants them to tell you, don't get mad at them. They could save your life, if you get mad at them that means you could be in danger and not know it," Charlene said.

"My family's always in danger, that's the problem," Carla said.

"That's not their fault, the DX family is the assignment of ATM. Its because of ATM that the DX family is still alive," Cassidy said.

"But Trish and Randy are not DX family members, sometimes I wonder just how much they love my family," Carla said.

Big E and Dolph Ziggler frowned, "Are you saying that the Ortons have an agenda against the DX family?" Dolph asked Cassidy and the DX kid sighed.

"No, I'm just tired of always running to find out what's going to happen next. Just seems like my family is always going through some kind of drama, why can't we just be a family like everyone else?" Carla said.

"Whatever the reason is for Amy's hair going grey, I'm sure the Ortons know why, so why don't you go see them instead of going all the way to Boston to see Hunter, LC and Hayworth?" Charlene said. Carla was clearly upset and she just wanted to be around her family. She missed Chyna very much and she needed to be with the people who loved her the most.

"It's not that I don't love Aunt Trish and Uncle Randy, it's just that they don't understand what it means to be a DX kid," Carla said. "So can you guys stay here while I go see my family please?"

Cassidy and Charlene got up and went over to Carla, "We are your family, so let's all go to Boston together," Charlene replied and Carla hugged them both.

"We can hold down the fort," Dolph Ziggler said pointing to himself and Big E.

"Yeah we'll probably sell more cushions than y'all ever could on your own," Big E said.

"Just try not to get any hair product on them," Carla said and the 3 Cs left while Dolph and Big E answered the phones and walked around the office like they owned the place.

"These cushions are awesome," Dolph said and he threw one at Big E.

"Hey don't throw them they're delicate, like me," Big E said and Dolph Ziggler rolled his eyes.

"When's the rest of New Day coming back, I can't handle you without AJ," Dolph Ziggler said running his fingers through his hair. "What the Hell, why does my hair smell like coconut?!"

As Big E continued to use Dolph's comb, the phones rang off the hook with orders from customers all over the world.

Ten minutes later Dolph and Big E realised they were in over their heads and they called for re-inforcements. A few minutes after that Carla's foster parents Dan and Charlotte McCool arrived with some spare hands.

"Sorry we only know how to sell in the ring," Big E said.

"And some of us even struggle with that," Dolph said and Big E stuck his tongue out at them.

"That's okay guys we got this, why don't you go back to doing what you were doing before and we'll let Carla know we're holding down the fort for her until she gets back?" Dan said.

"Wow its really cool that you guys are on good terms again, let's go Big E. You need to buy me a brand new comb," Dolph Ziggler said leaving the McCools in charge.

Big E fell silent as they got in the elevator and headed back downtown to where the other wrestlers were hanging out. "Did you think we did the right thing by leaving the McCools in charge? Last time I spoke to Carla she said that they weren't on the best of terms since that argument they had a few years back,"

"Do you think we should go back?" Dolph asked Big E.

"How am I supposed to know, you're the brains of this relationship!" Big E said.

"Relationship?! We haven't hung out like this for months, thanks to your New Day friends and the Shield," Dolph Ziggler said and Big E patted Dolph on the back.

"Okay I'll buy you a new comb, in fact I know where you can get one right now," Big E said and they strolled over to the Hardy Plaza Hotel.

Jeff and Steph Hardy were talking to the Hotel Manager outside the restaurant when Big E reached over to the hotel owners.

"Hey Big E, where have you been? New Day have been driving me nuts asking me to dance," Stephanie said. "I finally had to set Roman Reigns on them, now they're all playing hide and seek,"

"I know exactly where they are hiding, Steph can you please tell me what's going on with Amy's hair?" Big E said. "Oh and Jeff, can Dolph have one of your bright, multi-coloured combs?"

"What happened to the one I gave you last night?" Jeff Hardy asked Dolph.

"It's a long story," Dolph replied and Jeff Hardy handed him a bright orange and purple comb. Dolph took it and turned to Big E and sternly rebuked him, "Do not touch my comb,"

Big E's bottom lip trembled, "See, this is why we can't be friends Dolph. You were always so mean to me!" Big E said and he pretended to cry while Steph and Jeff shook their heads at Ziggler.

"Now see what you gone and done Ziggy, you made Big E cry, that's not the type of image we want for our hotel now is it babe?" Steph said to Jeff.

"No it isn't my darling, I insist that you boys go play hide and seek with New Day and the Shield. Be friends, not enemies," Jeff Hardy said and Dolph and Big E nodded and went to find Xavier, Seth, Dean, Roman and Kofi.

"And Big E, don't worry about Amy's hair. God's got it all under control," Stephanie said and Big E nodded with a smile.

"I knew it!" he said.

"Thanks for the cool comb Jeff!" Big E said leaving the Hardy billionaires alone. By themselves Steph and Jeff were a lot less cheerful but it had nothing to do with Amy's hair.

"What are we going to do about Charlotte and Dan threatening to sue DX? This is not the type of news I want to break to Hunter, not now with everything going on with Amy and Joanie, although that is great news about her being alive," Steph said.

"Underwater," Jeff added. "God is so awesome, only He could keep a human being alive underwater,"

"Yeah he must have given her gills or something," Stephanie said. "I bet Hunter's over the moon with joy when Shawn told him Joanie was still alive,"

"Knowing Hunter he's probably gonna try and see her," Jeff said and Steph shook her head.

"No way, that would be the dumbest… how could Hunter even think to try… he would have to be the biggest moron alive to… you're right he is going to try and see Joanie. We better put some security in place before he kills himself in the Atlantic Ocean," Stephanie said.

"And by security you mean the Shield," Jeff Hardy said.

"Yes, after they've finished playing hide and seek with New Day and Ziggler, we'll give them a little task to undertake," Steph said.

"You know they don't work for us right? They're just staying at our hotel, what happens if they say no?" Jeff said and Steph frowned.

"Why would they say no? They care about Hunter don't they? More importantly, they care about their jobs so if it means making a difference in Hunter's life and impressing his best friends and dearest love ones, the Shield will do anything," Steph said and Jeff nodded.

"Alright I'm convinced," he said and he went to talk to some patrons in the restaurant while Steph waited for the Shield to return. She wrung her hands in a table napkin until they were white.

"Trust me Jeff, the Shield will do whatever I tell them to do," she said darkly and she took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Or else,"


	6. The Big Dumb Orientation

The Bonehead and the Brain – Chapter Six – The Big Dumb Orientation

Harvard College, Boston, MA

Hayworth sighed as Hunter continued to sprawl himself all over his college dormitory floor face down in a pool of drool. He had his tongue out like a dog, Hayworth groaned with disgust.

"Why are you so big and heavy?" he said pushing his dad to one side as he headed for the shower, then he remembered the spiders Hunter had stolen from the science department, "Oh yeah there's spiders in the shower, I better go see if I can get someone to take them back to the science lab before they end up dead and I get kicked out of Harvard,"

Moments later Hayworth returned to his room with a big box and he loaded each of the exotic spiders into it. He had permission from the scientists that had imported them to bring them back to the science lab before the lecture on deadly, poisonous spiders from Central America began. Hunter's eyes popped open just as Hayworth placed the last spider into the box. He was about to exit when Hunter grabbed his ankle.

"Where are you taking my friends?" Hunter asked Hayworth.

Hayworth rubbed the side of his face with frustration, "Dad these spiders are very rare and dangerous, I have to take them back to the science department before somebody, namely you gets hurt,"

"Blinky, Summer and Justice would never hurt me. Give me that box right now, I'll return them to the science nerds after we've spent some more quality time together," Hunter said and Hayworth tried to pull himself away from his father's grip but he was too strong.

"You named them, dad I thought you weren't going to do anything stupid? I think getting attached to deadly spiders is at the top of the dumbest things you could do," Hayworth said.

"You would say that, you haven't spent any time with them, some friend you are," Hunter said and Hayworth struggled again with his father.

"Oh I give up," he said and he threw the box at his father, "Here, go nuts I'm going to make sure AJ, RJ and Rebecca Michelle find their way around Harvard when they arrive,"

"Blinky that tickles!" Hunter said as the deadliest of the spiders sat on his nose, blinking his many eyes rapidly, hence the name Blinky.

"I better call Queen Melina and tell her to get ready to bring you back to life after Blinky bites you," Hayworth said and he left his father with his latest obsession and went to meet his best friends in the whole world.

Aside from his father's behaviour Hayworth was loving Harvard and he hoped, AJ, RJ and Remi loved it as much as he did. In the college entrance way there was a crowd of students talking loudly about the wrestler kids that had "somehow" gotten into Harvard and Hayworth listened in on their erroneous conversation.

"One of the kid's dad is the biggest bonehead I have ever met. The entire time we talked he said that I should quit Harvard and come and work for him at the WWE. The nerve of that guy" one of the students said.

"Actually it's called DX Inc now and my father was right about one thing, you definitely should quit Harvard. I don't know about working in the wrestling business but you certainly aren't good enough to be a student here. You'll fail miserably if you stay," Hayworth said to the student who scoffed offended.

"And how would you know, what you got a crystal ball or something?" the student said.

"No but my best friend has a Prophetic Gift from God and he said that the guy in the red sports jacket will not be at Harvard for much longer," Hayworth answered and the guy in the red sports jacket laughed.

"Yeah like I'm going to listen to some wrestler's kid. Do you know who my father is? I could bury you with the amount of pull that I have in this place," the student said cockily.

"Even if you bury me you'll still fail if you stay here. If I were you I would stop focussing on my family and its flaws and take a long, hard look at yours. My friend RJ says that you barely qualified and after you fail your first test, you're going to struggle really hard to keep your grades up in order to stay here," Hayworth said as Hunter came running out towards his son holding the box of spiders in his hands.

"Spiders are so stupid I don't want to play with them anymore. Here take them I'm going to get drunk and pass out on the front lawn," Hunter said and the students laughed at him.

"Dad you said you wouldn't do that again!" Hayworth protested.

"That doesn't sound like something I'd say," Hunter said.

"What's in the box?" the student in the red sports coat asked Hunter.

"Three ungrateful bastards. I spent hours finding something for them to eat and then they turn their noses up at it. Is there something wrong with Peruvian fruit flies?" Hunter asked.

"Peruvian fruit flies?" the students repeated.

"Aren't those really rare?" a student asked concerned.

"No thanks to Blinky, Summer and Justice. They wouldn't even touch the things after I spent all night preparing them," Hunter said showing Hayworth and the students something rolled in pastry. "See, I even made a pie,"

Hayworth gawked at his father incredulous, "When did you find time to make a pie crust?" He asked completely mystified by his father's antics. "Oh nevermind, I don't want to know," he said shaking his head and squeezing his brow with a deep sigh.

The students laughed at Hunter while Hayworth rubbed the space between his eyes where immense tension was building up, "Dad spiders prefer to make their own dinner, how many of these fruit flies did you kill?"

"I didn't kill them, what sort of person do you think I am Hayworth? It's not my fault they got stuck in the peanut butter I left open. These flies were not the best Peru had to offer. I guess there's no Harvard equivalent in Peru for fruit flies eh?" Hunter asked Hayworth as the students continued to laugh.

"Yeah about your advice, I think I'll pass. See you after I ace that test," the student in the red jacket said to Hayworth who shook his head as the cocky student left.

Suddenly RJ, AJ and Remi made their anticipated arrival, much to Hayworth's delight and he quickly turned his attention to them and away from his father and his foolishness.

"Hayworth!" Remi cried out and Hayworth smiled at his beautiful bestie in law and embraced RJ and AJ, the people he was the closest to after his twin sister Angela.

"You made it I'm so glad to see you guys. Quick let's get out of here before my dad says something stupid," Hayworth said and Remi turned to her godfather.

"What are you eating?" she asked him curiously and RJ shook his head.

"You do not want to know," he answered.

"Dad are you eating that fruit fly pie?!" Hayworth asked his father and Hunter wiped the pie crust from the corners of his mouth.

"Mmmm, tastes exotic. It's really not bad. You guys don't know what you're missing!" he said to Blinky, Summer and Justice. Hunter did not take well to their lack of enthusiasm, or their decision to explore the four corners of the box they were trapped in.

AJ looked into the box and saw three spiders, "Wow cool!" he said.

"No not cool, they are ungrateful vermin and they must be punished for frowning on my Peruvian fruit fly pie!" Hunter said and he put the box on the floor and was about the stomp on it when the science lab technician who had been waiting for the spiders to be returned came running out to where Hunter and Hayworth were.

"STOP! Don't take another step, back away from the spiders right now!" the technician said and Hunter held his leg in mid-air and the technician quickly snatched the box before Hunter could step on the exotic spiders.

"Whoever picked those spiders doesn't know a damn thing about spiders!" Hunter said to the scientist.

"I picked them!" the technician responded. "Stay away from Venom, Blister and Puss,"

"Cool names, so much better than the girly names that Shawn came up with," Hunter said.

"Who's Shawn?" the technician asked.

"My father," Remi replied and the technician turned to her sympathetically.

"I heard about the plane going down over the Atlantic in New York, I hope your mom is okay," the technician said. "Your mother did a lot to help the cause of the Peruvian community along with Queen Melina back in the day. I'm a big fan of Amy, Trish and Melina, not so much of DX,"

"You can't get one without the other but thanks, I know my mom would appreciate your kind words," Remi said to the technician.

"I've got two words for you tech nerd," Hunter said to the technician.

"Dad!" Hayworth said. "You said you wouldn't say your catch-phrase while you were here,"

Hunter frowned, "That doesn't sound like something I'd say, I better check with Shawn he has ownership of the part of my brain that makes decisions. After all he named the spiders,"

"What?!" Hayworth said in frustration. "I doubt very much that HBK would have the time or patience to do something like name spiders while Aunt Amy is battling against the aftermath of that plane crash," Hayworth said to his father but Hunter blew off his son's comments.

"Ah she's fine, you don't know Amy. She's just trying to get attention by taking all of the attention away from me. Clearly you don't know how the female brain works son, it's a good thing I came to Harvard with you or else you'd start making out with text books instead of hot tech nerds like Miss, um…?"

The technician gasped at Hunter, "I would slap you Mr. Helmsley but I'm afraid the impact from your giant Bonehead would break my hand," she said and Hayworth felt terrible.

"Relax you're not even in her class, I'm the one who'll have to bear the brunt of your father's stupidity," AJ said. "I look forward to cruising through your classes Miss, um…?"

"Kendrick, my name is Kendrick Alexander, I've heard so much about you kids and after this encounter with Mr. Helmsley I find it extraordinary that you are even able to tie your own shoelaces," Kendrick said.

"Shoelaces are actually very uncool, most of my shoes have Velcro or I wear slip-ons," Hunter said arrogantly.

"I don't think that's what she was talking about Dad," Hayworth said annoyed and he apologised profusely to Miss, um…Kendrick Alexander. He felt a smile come out of nowhere as he looked her up and down, "Man you're hot," he said and as quickly as he said it he tried to take it back, "I can't believe I just said that, it's my father's fault he's a bad influence on me," he said trying to recover his dignity but it didn't help that his cheeks were going red.

"No son you were right, she is hot but she's a nerd so unless you wanna end up being Cameron to your sister's LC, I suggest you cut your losses right now and move on," Hunter said putting his hand and his son's shoulder supportively and Hayworth quickly knocked his hand away.

"Don't touch me Dad, because of you my first day at Harvard is a complete joke. Congratulations you have officially made this a DX special!" Hayworth said.

Remi disagreed, "No, what would make it really DX-ish is if you date Miss, um…Kendrick Alexander," she said and Hayworth frowned at the beautiful red-head.

"Remi, I thought of all people you would understand how hard my father has made things for me. Why are you taking his side?" Hayworth asked his beastie in law.

"Because I'm a DX kid and I'm proud of my heritage. I can be a Brain and a Bonehead, you're the one that's trying to choose between the two, even though you don't really have to," Remi replied.

"Yeah you're like one of the smartest guys in the world, so what if you wanna have fun? There's nothing wrong with that. AJ and I plan on having a ton of fun at Harvard, with your Dad here that will be even easier to do," RJ said.

"You guys are crazy, there's nothing fun about being related to a Bonehead like Dad. Now if you want to hang out here and bask in the horror of my father's inexplicable idiocy then have at it. I'm going to make something of the time that I'll be spending here," Hayworth said and he turned to Kendrick Alexander. "Ms. Alexander, could I please escort you back to the tech lab? It's the least I could do after the embarrassment caused by my family," he said to the technician.

"I think you better stay with your family Hayworth, if you don't hang around with them, who's going to keep them in check?" Ms. Alexander said and she looked up at Hunter. "He really looks like you," she said to him.

"Yeah he looks like a stud and he's never worked out a day in his life," Hunter said of his son proudly.

"Wow," Kendrick said and she raised an impressed eyebrow, "I've heard of good genes but that's incredible. You know what Hayworth, I think I would like you to escort me back to the lab. Please carry the box of spiders for me,"

"Whoa, she likes him!" Remi said to AJ and RJ as Hayworth picked up the box of spiders and walked Kendrick Alexander back to the science department.

"Let's go with them I wanna check out that lab," AJ said and Hunter almost clothes-lined the son of Chris Jericho. "Ow, my neck. What did you do that for?"

"Can't you see my son's on a date? You can't be going with him while he's trying to make a move on a hot tech nerd like Kendrick Alexander, what's the matter with you?" Hunter said to AJ. "You're worse than Cameron, come here let me knock some sense into that Brain of yours,"

"You wanna knock sense into my Brain?" AJ said incredulous and Remi and RJ laughed at the irony of the comment.

"Come on let's find something to do and leave Hayworth and the hot tech nerd alone," Remi said and she sent a text to Cameron and LC while Hunter wiped a tear of pride from his almond brown eyes.

"I knew if I lived long enough I would live to see my firstborn son turn Harvard into Make Out City, USA. God bless you God,"

"I don't think Jesus has anything to do with this," AJ said. "This is all you Uncle Hunter,"

"Oh you're just upset because Remi's not interested in you, why don't you go find a hot chick of your own to make out with?" RJ said and his words stung because they were True.

"I don't need to find a hot chick," AJ said with a knowing smile. "I already have one, or at least I will have one soon. Right now I want to focus on crushing my exams. If you knew the ideas I have in my head your head would explode Uncle Hunter,"

"And if you knew the ideas I had in my head I'd be sued for indecency," Hunter said and he let out a large sigh when nobody hit him over the head for his lewd comment. "Joanie would have whacked be right across the back of the head for that one, Shawn would have spat in my face and Hayworth would have feigned insanity. You guys are going to get with it or else we're not hanging out together, understand?"

"Yes Uncle Hunter," Remi, RJ and AJ said simultaneously.

"Good now one of you hit me for what I just said," Hunter said.

"Ladies first," RJ said to Remi who laughed before kicking Hunter in the groin.

"How was that?" Remi asked Hunter who shook his head with disappointment.

"You barely grazed my inner thigh," Hunter said with pity. "You're a Michaels for crying out loud your kicks are supposed to be lethal,"

"Okay here goes, just remember you asked for this," Remi said and she gave Hunter a punt right in the family jewels and Hunter keeled over in pain.

"How was that?" Remi asked as RJ and AJ went to Hunter's aid.

"Get the man an ice pack!" AJ said to Remi.

"That was perfect," Hunter said giving Remi the thumbs up an RJ made a mental note never to get his fiancé upset, especially when she was wearing metallic boots. "Your mom would be so proud, if she wasn't nuts. How is Amy, have you talked to her lately?"

"She's still messed up," Remi replied as AJ and RJ helped Hunter to the wall so he could recover. "Daddy won't leave her alone, she says she can't stand to be apart from him. Its getting kinda weird, like Matt Hardy weird,"

"Really, that bad eh? Gees what a psycho, your mother's a total nut job. I knew something bad would come of marrying your father. I need to talk to her about this, could you imagine what she would say if she knew her firstborn girl thought she was as crazy as Matt Hardy?" Hunter said and eventually he was able to get up under his own strength. "Thanks guys, you'd be great carrying my bags one day, as both your fathers did before you,"

RJ and AJ frowned, "Um I don't think my dad ever carried your bags Uncle Hunter," RJ said referring to Randy Orton.

"Yeah and I'm pretty sure my father spent his entire career trying to put you in a body bag so that can't be right," AJ replied and Hunter laughed.

"Your father spent his entire career trying to get rid of me and I have made a career out of making sure he stays dead and buried. I think things really worked out well for the both of us, now you finally have a man you can look up to. Welcome to the family AJ," Hunter said embracing Chris Jericho's firstborn son.

"Awkward," RJ said as AJ embraced the Game back, trying desperately to keep all bad thoughts about his father as far in the past as possible. If he started acting like a Jericho, he would lose everything and everyone that mattered to him, including the one person he wanted to love him the most.

"Hey kid knock if off you're hurting me," Hunter said pulling away from AJ's iron like embrace. "Man you are freakishly strong, how is that possible your dad was a weak-ass cruiserweight?"

"My dad was a lot of things Hunter but weak wasn't one of them," AJ said and he extended his hand to Hunter in friendship. "I look forward to having you as a role model Mr. Helmsley,"

"Hey, call me Dad," Hunter said and he shook AJ's hand causing the science genius to smile and RJ to breathe a sigh of relief.

"I guess this is the dawning of a new era in our families, I pray that it will last until graduation," AJ said.

RJ agreed as Remi got off the phone, "This is going to be a great," Remi said loving that Hunter and AJ were getting along.

"Its great for our families but there's something outside of our control that needs to be dealt with by Uncle Hunter and if he doesn't deal with it, this little peace treaty between DX and the Jericho families won't last," RJ said and Remi frowned at her fiancé.

"You're talking about the person that tried to kill Aunt Joanie," Remi said and RJ nodded. "You're right this has to be dealt with so I can get through college in peace,"

RJ agreed and they both reminded Hunter that there was a criminal on the loose that had to be brought to justice.

"Uncle Hunter if you find out who this person is, it will also help Aunt Amy with her problems. This person is the key to restoring everything back to the way things were before we started college," RJ said.

"But I don't know who this person is, can you guys help me figure it out?" Hunter said and RJ scratched the back of his head nervously. "Wait, you know who this person is?!" Hunter asked.

"Not exactly I know some stuff but not everything," RJ said.

"Well tell me what you know so I can figure it out who it is and kick his ass, it is a guy right?" Hunter said and RJ nodded that it was. "Phew, for a second there I thought I was going to have to beat up a female and LC's not here,"

"So what do you know?" AJ asked RJ.

"One of the spiders names is a clue," RJ said. "You said Shawn named them Blinky, Summer and Justice, if you can figure out which name is linked to the man who tried to kill Aunt Joanie you would undoubtedly be the smartest man alive and have proven your son wrong for calling you a Bonehead,"

Hunter rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Let's see, who do I know that blinks?" he said and Remi, AJ and RJ sighed.

"Let's get some coffee we could be here all morning," Remi said and they headed inside as Hunter began to unravel the mystery of who tried to kill Chyna at his own pace.


	7. Scaredy Babe

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Seven - Bonehead and the Brain – Scaredy Babe

The Sandbox, 12pm

Shawn brought Amy home from New York, as they were exiting the DX Machine Amy was clinging onto Shawn for dear life. Her fingernails were breaking the skin of his neck, you'd think she'd seen a ghost. Well that might not have been far from the truth. She was as white as a ghost and as grey as a goose after she had seen Chyna. The First Lady of Helmsley was allegedly buried at sea, yet she wasn't dead – Chyna was alive.

While the news gave Shawn great joy and he couldn't wait to see Joanie's beautiful face again, he was much more concerned with his wife and her beautiful face which had now disappeared. When Shawn saw Amy, all he saw was fear looking right back at him.

"YARGH!" Jeff Hardy said when he saw Amy. Jeff, Beth and Aurora had flown back to the Sandbox to help Shawn get Amy settled, they didn't expect to be the ones who were unsettled by her ravaged and dramatically altered appearance.

"Let's get you an appointment with MyHair," Aurora suggested talking to Amy like she was a mentally incompetent. "I'm sure Maria and Brie will make an exception for you,"

"Are you kidding? Those guys time is like gold dust they won't have any time for her," Jeff said. "Trust me I've been trying to get an appointment with Maria for months and I was in New York Finest with her,"

"You've been wait-listed?" Amy said and Jeff shook his head.

"I can't believe it myself, those guys are so hot right now, even their voicemail has a waiting list," Jeff Hardy said and Amy, much to Shawn's delight burst out laughing.

"Jeff you're awesome," Shawn said and he kissed Jeff Hardy on the forehead. "I haven't heard Amy laugh in days,"

"It's surprisingly difficult without Hunter around," Amy said. "I miss that Bonehead, how long before we get to Harvard and hang out with him?"

Shawn's smile grew even bigger, the fact that Amy wanted to see Hunter now meant that she was definitely on the road to recovery. She wasn't even clinging to him anymore and it felt great.

"Well why don't we put our stuff down and then call Hunter and see when he's free?" Shawn said and Amy frowned.

"You mean we might have to make an appointment to see him?" Amy said and she burst out laughing again.

Shawn rolled his eyes, "It sounds ridiculous but apparently Hunter's become quite the attraction among the staff and graduates at Harvard. He's been sitting in on Hayworth's classes and distracting everyone from the lessons like a toy monkey,"

"That's my Cerebral Assman," Amy said.

"The Dean calls it "An Experiment in Degeneration: The Life of a Bonehead," Shawn said. "Its an actual class you can get credit for it an everything,"

"Wow Harvard is getting some serious publicity out of Hunter being on campus," Jeff Hardy said scrolling through his smart phone and seeing all the references to Hunter and Harvard coming up on social media.

"I don't like it," Aurora said scrunching up her nose, "They're making fun of my dumb-ass daddy and he doesn't even realise it,"

"Have you met your dumbass daddy? This is more than he should have ever hoped to have gotten out of this whole thing. By my count he should have been arrested four times already," Shawn said but Aurora still didn't like it.

"My dad is not dumb, he's the smartest man who ever lived," Aurora said and she sighed as she spoke.

"You can't even convince yourself of that, you think Harvard don't know a Bonehead from a Brain?" Shawn said and Amy held her stomach and chuckled.

"I'm gonna go take a nap, thank you so much for coming Jeff you made my day. Shawn you're better on TV," Amy said and she squeezed her husband lovingly on the side.

"I love you too Big Red. Man it feels good to say that," Shawn said and he touched his wife's hair as she laughed herself up the stairs to her room.

"Man that must feel good," Jeff said to Shawn and Beth nodded in agreement.

"She's almost herself, you gotta do something about that hair though Uncle Shawn. She's just not Aunt Amy without her Big Red Hair," Beth Hardy said and Jeff looked at his eldest daughter with admiration. "What is it daddy?" Beth asked her father.

"Why don't you give it a shot?" Jeff suggested. "You've got the coolest hair in the family,"

"Dad are you crazy? I would never mess with Big Red's hair," Beth said. "She's a woman of God, don't you know what the Bible says about a woman's hair?"

"I do!" Shawn said putting his hand up like an excited Bible Study student. "The Bible says a woman's hair is her glory,"

"That's right and glory comes from God. You have to be anointed to touch Big Red's hair," Beth said and Jeff crossed his arms perplexed.

"So what's your point?" Jeff asked Beth.

"That I'm not anointed," Beth said and Shawn looked at Aurora and Jeff.

"You have a Gift from God, that means your anointed," Shawn said to Beth. "Now get upstairs and do something about my wife's ugly ass hair,"

Beth sighed looking at her hands, "Lord please anoint these hands before I ruin what You created," she prayed as she went to see Amy.

Like I would ever let that happen, God replied and Beth breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God, You're with me that means I can't fail," Beth said and she knocked on Amy and Shawn's bedroom door.

Aurora fell back into her issues with Hunter being mocked at Harvard, "Can we please stop disrespecting daddy? He's been through a lot with Aunt Jo dying an all," she said and Shawn and Jeff frowned at Aurora.

"Joanie's not dead, she's alive. The Ortons said that she's under the sea and it won't be long before Hunter gets her out," Shawn reassured Aurora.

"And how is that going to happen Uncle Shawn? How is Aunt Jo going to get back here if daddy's being a Bonehead at Harvard much to the mockery of the wrestling business he revolutionised? All those Harvard brats are going to think that wrestlers are morons and nothing could be further from the truth. Daddy needs to be focussing on figuring out how to get Aunt Jo above sea level and leave Hayworth, RJ, Angelo and Rebecca alone to enjoy being students without his dumbass around," Aurora said and Shawn and Jeff nodded.

"She's right we gotta get Hunter to figure out who tried to kill Joanie. All this Harvard stuff is a distraction, Joanie was taken from us and we have to find out by who," Shawn said and he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"What is it?" Jeff asked Shawn.

"I think this is Hunter's way of dealing with what's about to come to light. Trish said that the person who tried to kill Joanie is someone very close to Hunter and RJ confirmed that. I don't know if Hunter is ready to deal with finding out who that person is," Shawn said. "Quite frankly, I don't think any of us are,"

"Speak for yourself Uncle Shawn," Aurora said. "I am more than ready to find out who tried to put Aunt Jo to sleep permanently. I can't have peace until that monster of a human being is brought to justice,"

"Let's focus on Amy first," Jeff said to Aurora who nodded. "Once Big Red is up and running we'll all help Hunter find this scum bag and make sure he faces the music,"

Speaking of Big Red, upstairs in Shawn and Amy's room Beth Hardy was applying the finishing touches to Amy's hair. All she needed now was for Amy's hair color to be restored to its former glorious red and they could go downstairs and show the men the return of Big Red.

"What's taking so long, your hair should have turned red by now," Beth said.

"I don't think this going to work," Amy said looking in the mirror. "I think my hair has to turn red on its own,"

Beth frowned, "Why do you think that?" she asked puzzled.

"Let's wash out the dye, I have a feeling this isn't going to work," Amy said and Beth sighed disappointed.

"Okay," she said with a heavy heart, "See I told dad I couldn't do your hair,"

"This isn't about you not being anointed Beth, trust me I know you are," Amy said. "My hair turned grey under very traumatic circumstances, dying my hair red isn't going to fix what happened to me in the Atlantic Ocean,"

Beth looked at Amy's dull grey hair and shook her hair, "So what does that mean? Are you still traumatised? You don't look traumatised, you look like Aunt Amy, except for this ugly ass mess on the top of your head," she said and Amy laughed.

"I have a feeling, which I will confirm when I see your awesome Aunt Trish, that my hair won't turn back until we get Chyna out of the Atlantic. I think my hair color was buried with her, this might sound crazy but I think the glory God put on my hair is what led me to find Chyna in the first place," Amy said and Beth listened intently and suddenly Amy gasped. "Yes I remember something!"

"What?" Beth said excited.

"Joanie's hair, when I saw her under the sea, her hair was red. She's got my hair color and I got hers! Her hair must have turned grey when that person tried to kill her,"

"Wow!" Beth said and the two women ran down to tell the men what Amy remembered and they were as astonished to hear it as they were.

"So the hair's here to stay until Joanie comes home," Amy concluded.

"We better get Hunter out of Harvard in a hurry. Amy had got to get her hair back, not just because its gut-renchingly ugly but because it has a spirit of fear attached to it," Shawn said but Amy shook her head.

"Actually I think the fear is gone now, I feel like my old self," Amy said. "I'll just ask Seth Rollins for one of his beanies and keep my head covered until Joanie comes back to us,"

"A beanie, that's your interim solution?" Jeff said and he looked at his daughter accusingly.

"Dad I tried but you heard Aunt Amy, the hair is not something that any human being can fix," Beth said as Jeff covered his eyes.

"I'm sorry Amy I just can't look at you, let's find Seth Rollins and get you that beanie asap," Jeff said.

"Don't you have a beanie she can borrow?" Beth asked Shawn.

"I'm from San Antonio, I don't wear beanies," Shawn said.

"And I'm from Georgia, I don't wear cowboy hats," Amy said and Beth shook her head.

"I'll Transcend Seth Rollins so we can be protected from your ugly grey hair," Beth said and everyone waited for Seth Rollins to arrive. "That's weird, usually my Transcendence is instant. Something's blocking me,"

"That's never happened before," Jeff said. "Nobody's ever been able to block Transcendence,"

"Hmmm, what could Seth Rollins be doing that he can't be here right now?" Shawn wondered and he gave the former WWE Champion a call. "Rollins?"

Enigmatic Hotel, New York City

Seth Rollins looked down at his cell-phone which was vibrating loudly.

"Dammit!" he cursed as Dolph Ziggler opened the closet in which he had been hiding for hours.

"Found you!" Dolph cried out, "Everyone I found him he's been in the closet this whole time!"

Big E, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns came into the hotel room that Seth had snuck into and had been able to hide longer than everyone else, in what had been the longest game of Hide and Seek ever.

"Seriuosly I thought you might have left the country," Xavier Woods said.

"I would have been able to hide even longer if my cell-phone didn't ring," Seth said as Roman pulled him out of the closet.

"You owe me lunch I had to call my wife and tell her I wasn't coming home because I had to find you," Roman said to Seth.

"Who called you?" Big E asked Seth.

"I don't know the call got cut," Seth said and he ran his fingers over his head.

"What's up?" Kofi Kingston asked him.

"Did you lose something?" Dolph asked him.

"Yeah, my beanie. Its gone," Seth said.

New Day and Dolph shrugged, "It could be in the closet somewhere, let 's all look for it,"

The Sandbox

New Day and the Shield were now standing in front of Amy, Shawn, Beth, Aurora and Jeff because Beth had Transcended them all from the Hardys' hotel in New York City.

"YARGH!" They all screamed when they saw Amy's hair.

"Sorry guys I only wanted Rollins," Beth apologized.

"You called me during Hide and Seek, you ruined my winning streak!" Seth said annoyed. "Did you take my hat too?"

"No, I thought you'd be wearing it," Beth said and Seth rubbed his brow puzzled.

"What happened to my hat? I was in the closet the whole time I never took it off," Seth said.

"Well that's not good enough Rollins, can't you see my wife is in need of some head gear? You're the only WWE Superstar I know who wears beanies and now after all this time trying to get you here, you didn't even bring your hat," Shawn said and Rollins laughed.

"That is kinda funny, besides I like grey hair. It looks good on you Big Red," Seth said and the Hardys looked at Seth like he was crazy.

"Transcend him back please," Shawn said to Beth and moments later New Day and the Shield were gone and Amy still remained hatless.

The Enigmatic Hotel, NYC:

"Shawn, this is Big E, is Seth still there with you?"

"No he's not, why?" Shawn said from the Sandbox.

"He's not with us, we came back to New York City but we can't find Seth," Big E explained.

"Wow he really is good at Hide and Seek," Shawn said.

"I'm serious HBK, where did he go? Big E asked.

"He's probably with his beanie, they both deserve each other. When he finds his hat we'll Transcend him back," Shawn said and he hung up on a confused Big E.

"Shawn said Seth's with his beanie," Big E said and New Day looked at him like he was crazy.

Back at the Sandbox, everyone had left for Harvard and Seth Rollins Transcended back there, this time he had his beanie and was all by himself.

Harvard Campus

In Hayworth's dorm a dripping wet Seth Rollins appeared in front of Hunter, Hayworth, RJ, Angelo, Rebecca, Aurora, Shawn, Amy and the Hardys Beth and Jeff.

"Finally, you got the beanie back," Shawn said taking the beanie from Seth's dripping wet hands.

"Well done Beth," Jeff said to his daughter proudly.

"Where was it?" Amy asked Seth.

"Somewhere wet," Seth replied. "Can someone get me a towel please?"

Hunter spanked Seth with a towel and chased him all over Hayworth's room much to Hayworth's chagrin.

"Why is the beanie wet I don't get it," Aurora said blowing on the hat until it was dry. "Where the Hell was it?"

"Underwater," RJ replied, the junior prophet knew exactly where the hat was.


	8. Return of the Mac

The Bonehead and the Brain – Chapter Eight - Return of the Mac

Hayworth's dorm, Harvard Campus, 7pm

RJ tripped up Hunter who went flying into the wall next to the door while Seth caught his breath. The Cerebral Assman has been running after Seth with a towel trying to mess with him for awhile now and Seth could run faster and longer than RJ was willing to tolerate any longer.

"Okay you guys are too much, I wanna go home," Seth said and he turned to Beth Hardy, "Take me back…I mean, not back to where I was, take me home,"

"Sure thing Seth, thanks for the beanie. Aunt Amy really needed it," Beth said and RJ interrupted the Transcendence that was about to take place.

"Wait stop I have to ask you something before you go," RJ said to Rollins.

"I'm wet and hatless, I have to go. My DM's are open, you can message me on twitter," Seth said.

"I'm God's Eyeglass I don't do social media. I have to ask you a few questions about where you went when Beth Transcended you just then," RJ said.

"Well can you at least Transcend my friends back here? I do not want to hang out with you Christians, ya'll are crazy. I've never seen so much weird things happen since I started working for DX Inc, now ya'll are Transcending me underwater and taking my property," Seth said, "I need to go home so please whatever you want to ask me can wait until later, like much later, next year maybe,"

"Did you see something scary when you were underwater?" RJ asked Seth ignoring his plea to be Transcended home.

"Yeah, I mean, no I wasn't scared of what I saw down there," Seth said and he started to tremble and Amy looked at him concerned.

"What did you see?" Amy asked him.

"Look you won't believe me if I tell you since y'all only believe in angels, not monsters," Seth said and the DX family shook their heads in protest.

"Yes we do believe in angels but we also know there's some freaky looking demons out there, so what did this monster look like?" Amy asked Seth.

"It was a girl monster, with big red hair. She tried to grab me but I got outta there and ended up here with you guys before she could touch me, I am grateful for that by the way okay? I didn't want to be there for one more second," Seth said and he gulped, "I wanna go home to my girl, can we please talk about this later RJ?"

"You still with MacKenzie?" Aurora asked Seth and he laughed.

"MacKenzie? Hell no we're not seeing each other anymore," Seth said and Shawn frowned at him.

"Okay Seth I need you to be real honest with me, who broke up with who? Did you end it or did Mac?" Shawn asked Seth who frowned.

"Why does that matter?" Seth asked Shawn. "If you must know, she broke up with me. She said I wasn't the right guy for her,"

"So this girl you're with now, is she the right one for you?" Amy asked Seth and the former World Champion suddenly lost his temper.

"That's so not your business Amy, you know instead of spending all this time hanging out with your family, why don't you come back to work and help out the other female wrestlers? If you took your job more seriously maybe you wouldn't have all this time to stick your nose into my personal business," Seth said resentfully.

"You are my business Seth, you're a part of the roster and who you spend your personal time with affects me just as much as it does everyone else. So whoever this person is I need to know, especially if she's on the roster," Amy said. "You can't just jump from one woman to another and expect me not to say anything about it, you were so into MacKenzie and obviously she's hurt you. I can see it in your eyes, believe me I know that look," Amy looked at Shawn who gulped knowing what Amy meant. "Let's talk Seth, stay here and tell me why you guys really broke up,"

RJ looked at Seth knowingly, there was more to his relationship with MacKenzie just ending than he was letting on.

"You don't have to be afraid Seth, it wasn't your fault," RJ said and Seth looked at RJ nervously.

"You know what happened between me and Mac?" Seth said and RJ nodded and now everyone was looking at RJ.

"Spill it Eyeglass, what happened?" Aurora asked RJ. "Does it have something to do with Aunt Jo?"

"Aunt Jo, what are you talking about?" Seth said. "Why did you say that, do you think I had something do with Chyna's death? Is that why ya'll brought me here, to interrogate me about Chyna?"

"Well it would make sense. You saw a monster underwater, that could have been a manifestation of your fear or guilt. What the Hell was your beanie doing there in the first place? The only explanation I can think of is that you were there when it all went down," Aurora said and the dorm room started to get cold as Aurora went into Hurricane mode.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to Chyna…it was all just a big mistake," Seth said. "I didn't even realise what had happened until it was too late,"

Hunter picked himself up from where he had crashed into the wall and walked over to Seth. "You know what happened to Chyna? I want to know everything, don't hold anything back. The more you tell us the quicker we can get her back up here where she'll be safe,"

"Safe? You can't protect her Hunter, she's better off down there believe me. After what happened…there's no way she can come back here," Seth said and Hunter got intense and placed his hands on Seth's shoulders sternly.

"What happened to my wife?" Hunter asked Seth firmly and the former World Champion took a deep breath.

"She got in the way, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Something bad was bound to happen to her. I tried everything I could but, there was so much at stake. If anyone ever found out…no there was no other option. Hunter, please I can't tell you about that day. I can barely get over what happened and I saw it all unfold before my very eyes. Ever since that day I've been hiding in my friends, I'm scared to sleep in-case I see her face and hear her screams. She shouldn't have been there Hunter, Hell I shouldn't have been there but I just wanted to be there for my brother…oops. Forget what I just said,"

"Your brother? You mean one of the Shield members is involved in this too?" Hunter asked Seth.

"We're not brothers anymore really so I guess it doesn't matter who it was right? I'm not telling you anything else, you're going to have to figure out what happened for yourself," Seth said and he pulled away from Hunter. "I hope you never find out what happened, some things should just stay buried. You don't want to know Hunter, if I were you I'd move on and forget about finding out what happened,"

"I will not leave Joanie down there for one more second Seth!" Hunter said furiously and he balled up Seth's shirt in his fists and shook him back and forth violently. "Tell me what happened to my wife or so help me God I will end you career!"

"Hunter stop you can't threaten Seth, he didn't do anything wrong he's just scared that's all," Shawn said freeing Seth from Hunter's angry grip. Shawn walked Seth over to the other side of the dorm and smiled at him.

"You're doing the right thing by talking to us, you need us Seth. From what you've said it sounds like there's some people that aren't too happy that you saw what happened," Shawn said to Seth gently.

"You are in the safest possible place right now, there's no monsters here…well, unless you count my dad but he just wants to know what happened. You can trust us to protect you," Aurora said to Seth.

"I don't trust you to protect me, you couldn't even protect Chyna. You don't even know what happened to her and what's worse you have no idea how close you are to the person who killed her. What kind of authority do you call that? If God has put you guys in power over the wrestling world, He must be running low on staff. I wouldn't trust you guys to baby-sit my dog and I sure as Hell am not going to trust you to protect me if I tell you who killed Chyna," Seth said stubbornly.

"You mean the person who tried to kill Chyna. The First Lady of DX is alive and besides, what makes you think that you shouldn't be underwater too? God sent you to us so that we could protect you Seth because you know what happened to Aunt Jo," RJ said.

"RJ's right Seth," Rebecca Michelle said and Seth looked Shawn's baby girl up and down, "So please let us do our job,"

"Your daughter's hot, so I'll stay," Seth said to Shawn and Amy gave Rebecca Michelle a hi-five.

Shawn frowned at Rebecca Michelle, "What took you so long to turn on the charm?" Shawn asked Remy and she nodded to RJ.

"I didn't want to make him jealous," she replied and RJ blew her a kiss. Seth frowned at the gesture.

"Wait, you guys are dating? I changed my mind I'm going home," Seth said to Shawn.

"But I thought you said you were seeing somebody," Amy asked Seth.

"Yeah, online. I don't actually have a physical girlfriend I just broke up with MacKenzie give me a break Amy. I can barely get out of bed now, the most I can do is share messages with this girl from Boston," Seth said and RJ chuckled. "Oh that's nice, yeah real nice make fun of the guy that's dating online because his hot ex-girlfriend broke up with him over a tweet,"

"A tweet?" Aurora said. "Finally some details! What did the tweet say?"

"It wasn't what the tweet said it was who it was sent to," Seth said. "The tweet just said "Hi, I missed you today," It was totally harmless,"

"Yeah you need to get offline," RJ said to Seth.

"Who was the tweet to?" Amy asked Seth.

"Sasha," Seth replied. "Happy now Big Red Nosy?"

Amy looked at Shawn implying she wanted to talk to him privately, Seth noticed the exchange between the Anointed Couple and realised that he missed MacKenzie.

"Maybe you're right RJ, I should stay offline for awhile and hang out with you guys. If I go home I'll be miserable, you're so lucky to have someone like Rebecca Michelle to hang out with. All I have is Roman, Dean and the New Day and they all have girlfriends, all I have is an ex," Seth said sadly and RJ hugged him.

"You have us now, you are going to love being part of our family," RJ said and everyone crowded around Seth including Hunter who took it one step further and sat on his lap.

After Seth had been submerged in enough love to distract him from who was in the room, Amy and Shawn snuck out to have a quiet word about Seth's girl from Boston.

"I know who Seth's been talking to, the same girl he sent the tweet to that caused MacKenzie to break up with him," Amy said and Shawn gasped.

"You mean the girl from Boston and Sasha Banks are the same person?" Shawn said and Amy nodded.

"And there's more, I know for a fact that MacKenzie does not like Sasha and Seth hanging out at work, even though they're just friends," Amy said and Shawn noticed that his wife was getting giddy.

"Does Sasha like Seth or something?" Shawn asked Amy and Lady Grey shook her head.

"No but she really likes him as a friend, kind of like how we started. I don't know Shawn but I think there might be something there, we should get Sasha down here. Better her than MacKenzie, all Charlene MacKenzie cares about is you-know-what. Seth needs a great friend like Sasha in his life, who knows, maybe one day, they could be a couple!" Amy said excitedly.

"If Seth thinks we're trying to set him up with Sasha he'll stop trusting us, we only just managed to convince him to stay with us tonight, how pissed off will he be when he realizes you're playing matchmaker? We need to keep him sweet so that he finally opens up and tells us who tried to kill Chyna, so nix the Sasha talk okay?" Shawn said and Amy nodded reluctantly. "You really think they could be a good couple?"

"When I see them together it's like the beginning of a beautiful friendship and I don't want MacKenzie to ruin that with her long, long legs and jasmine tea green eyes and soft brown skin – man that girl is hot!" Amy said.

"Yeah, hot and dangerous, like a medieval stove. We know what she's all about though, do you think they slept together already?" Shawn asked Amy.

"I hope not, I doubt it. That woman's like a Venus flytrap and Seth doesn't look like he's been caught by her yet, I mean he's still moving, that's a good sign that they haven't done anything yet," Amy said.

"Maybe he's saving himself for Sasha," Shawn teased Amy.

"No he's not, he doesn't even realise she's the girl from Boston he's been talking to online," Amy said.

"Well if he gets back together with MacKenzie its going to be harder for him to save himself for a prize like Sasha," Shawn said.

"Yeah, MacKenzie's just an accident waiting to happen," Amy said shaking her head.

"I doubt Seth feels that way, I think he'd do anything to be with Mac right now which is why we have to keep him around us. He's fragile, its not nice being dumped," Shawn said and Amy frowned.

"He's not fragile, he made a move on our daughter right in front of us and her future fiancé," Amy said.

"He's just being brash to hide his true feelings about MacKenzie, all kidding aside, she is a nice girl who just happens to be as hot as a batch of freshly made donuts. Seth could be the guy for her, he's got confidence and you need to have confidence to have a woman like MacKenzie on your arm," Shawn said and Amy rolled her eyes.

"Enough about MacKenzie she's not here and talking about her isn't going to make me enjoy this conversation any less than I do already, I want to talk about Sasha," Amy said and Shawn told her to keep her voice down. "I just want something good to happen with those two, they really remind me of how things used to be when we were their age,"

"Yeah and Hunter tried to make something happen between us and ended up driving both of us crazy. Amy, if they're meant to be together it'll happen, in the meantime let's just make the guy feel like he's part of the family, so no girl talk," Shawn said to his wife.

"So that means you can't talk about MacKenzie," Amy warned Shawn as they came back into the room.

"Hey guys!" came the sweet and seductive voice of Charlene MacKenzie, who had been Transcended to Harvard by Beth Hardy in an attempt by RJ to get some answers about what happened to Chyna back in New York City.

Shawn noticed how uncomfortable Seth looked and he sighed along with Amy.

"Hi MacKenzie," they both said reluctantly and they walked over to Seth who was trying not to feel sad.

"Here you can have this back, it'll make you feel better," Amy said giving Seth back his beanie.

"ARGHHH! For the love of God put it back on!" Jeff Hardy said. "Hide your shame!"

Amy put the hat back on her head and scowled at Jeff Hardy while everyone laughed, including Seth.

"I like the grey hair," Seth said.

"I hate it, she looks like a witch and I've seen enough of those to last me a lifetime, no thanks to you Rollins," MacKenzie said to Seth resentfully. "How could you leave me alone while all that was going down? I couldn't move I was so scared and all you cared about was protecting Roman Reigns,"

"Roman Reigns?" Aurora said her ears perking up along with everyone else's. "What was Roman doing Mac?"

"Getting what he deserved that's what. If things had gone my way, you know what would have happened?" MacKenzie said to Seth.

"Nobody wanted things to go down the way they went down, I did what I had to do to protect the only family I've ever known. I didn't want anything to happen to you but I had no choice I had to protect him from that…whatever it was," Seth said.

"You chose Roman over me and I will never forget that Seth, you're such a loser! A cute loser but a loser none the less, you should have protected me, I should have been your first choice.  
I was scared stiff all I could do was grab your hat before that thing pulled me into the water with it," Mackenzie said. "Meanwhile you ran off with Roman and Dean like some scared little boy!"

"That's not true I came back for you but when I came back you were gone," Seth said. "At least nothing fatal happened to you Mac, Chyna died and it was all because of that evil witch,"

"Do they know that she was the one who killed Chyna?" Mac said pointing to everyone and the DX and Hardy family gasped.

"She? The person who killed Chyna was a woman?" Hunter said. "Was it one of the Damsels of Destruction, have they turned on us?"

"No the Damsels were in Italy with the Pope," MacKenzie replied. "So, they have no idea who it was? Why are you protecting her?"

"You know why I can't tell them who it is MacKenzie. I didn't want things to get messed up between us but things just got crazy on that night, please understand that I had to protect Roman. He's like my family, no to Hell with that - he is my family." Seth said.

"He put you and your wrestling buddies in danger that night and you're still protecting him. I get it though, I would do the same for my girls Cassie and Carla if the situation involved them, so I guess I do understand why you did what you did. It's a shame it happened while we were on a date, a real hot date that ended way too early thanks to that witch," Mac said and Seth got hopeful and reached for Mac's hands.

"So how about we resume our date right here in Boston? I would love another chance to show you how much you really do mean to me and that I'm not the kind of guy that would leave you on your own," Seth said and MacKeznie's eyes darkened.

"If the same thing were to happen, the exact same thing, who would you chose to protect, me or Roman Reigns?" Mac asked and Seth fell silent for a minute while everyone waiting in anticipation for his answer.

"Roman Reigns," Seth replied and Mac snatched her hands back.

"I knew it, you and the Shield can go to Hell!" Mac said but Seth reached out and grabbed her.

"There's only one thing that I would give you that I can't give to Roman," he said and he kissed MacKenzie deeply.

"I miss those lips," MacKenzie said touching her lips after they stopped kissing. "But its not enough Seth, I need more from you than a goodnight kiss. I need you to protect me the way you protected Roman that night and you can't do that, so we're over. Tweet that to your friend from Boston," MacKenzie said and Amy and Shawn grimaced at that comment.

"Okay Mac you can go now, thanks for coming and please think of me the next time you need someone to make out with," Jeff Hardy said and MacKenzie turned to him and suddenly she burst out crying. "Was it something I said?" Jeff asked her.

"Tell them what happened that night Seth, they deserve to know the truth," MacKenzie said and Seth wiped a tear from his miserable face.

"So they can be as sad and depressed as I am? They don't need that, just like I don't need you," Seth said and he walked out of the room as Beth Transcended Mac home.

"We got so much out of that exchange, we'll know what happened to Chyna by the end of the week," RJ said.

"But how miserable is Seth right now, I don't think I could take anymore misery," Beth said and she turned to Rebecca Michelle. "He likes you, go cheer him up,"

"Guys like Seth Rollins don't stay single long, he'll be fine he just needs a few days to get over the Preying Mantis," Remy replied and RJ frowned.

"I thought she was the Venus Flytrap?" he said and Amy and Shawn talked about how to deal with Seth while he was with him at Harvard.

"I think Seth will be fine in a few days also," Amy said.

"I agree with my wife," Shawn said and Hunter turned to them both seriously.

"Whatever you two match makers are up to it can wait until we find out what happened to Chyna," he warned them and he left to find Seth to offer him some comfort and possibly, a good old fashioned lap dance.

Hunter didn't know all the details but from what MacKenzie had said, Seth had stuck his neck out for Roman Reigns and that kind of loyalty impressed him a lot. To Hunter, the world was full of MacKenzie's but very few people would value friendship over sex with an ex and he was glad that Seth did what he did and he told him so repeatedly for the rest of the night.

"Whatever the reason for it, you put your friend first and that's all that matters to me. We need more people like you in the locker room Seth," Hunter said. "I know you're hurting right now but I think you're going to feel a lot better when this is all over with and things get back to normal,"

"Back to normal?" Seth said incredulous, "Things will never be as they were Hunter, trust me on that. You cannot handle this man; I know you've been through a lot of stuff with your family over the years but this is not something that you will ever get over. So stop glossing over it, Chyna is never coming back so stop waiting for me to tell you about that night. I can't do that to you there's too much pain in the world already, why would I add more by telling you the truth about what happened to your wife?"

"Because I need to know so I can have her back, don't you see how selfish you're being by keeping the truth from me? I have no Joanie, all I have is my friends and you know what that's like, you wouldn't trade Roman and Dean for the world, but you wouldn't wanna kiss them at night or spend your whole life with them either. I need to know what happened Seth, so I can enjoy the rest of my life with the woman I love," Hunter said and Seth's face tightened.

"We don't always get what we want Hunter, I wanted to spent the rest of my life with MacKenzie and she dumped me twice!" Seth said.

"You did not want to spend the rest of your life with MacKenzie, that woman is a one night stand at best, maybe a long weekend, but she is not your future wife," Hunter said.

"Oh really? And I suppose you know who the woman I'm going to marry is huh?" Seth said sarcastically. "Is she one of your Christian friends with angelic powers from God? Yeah like I really need anymore craziness in my life, I don't need you to hook me up Hunter,"

"Fine but I just wanted to remind you that Christian girls make great wives, look at Shawn and Amy, LC and Cameron, Cheyenne and Garrett, all Christians, all happy. Better to be in love with a woman who has God on speed dial than a woman who has a whole page in Satan's rolodex," Hunter said.

"What the Hell is a rolodex?" Seth frowned in confusion. "Look can you please just butt out of my personal life? I feel terrible about what happened to Chyna but I'm not changing my mind, I am not going to tell you what happened, you'll just have to figure it out on your own," Seth said and Hunter rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"What if I told you I could get you back with MacKenzie, would you change your mind and tell me what happened to my wife?" Hunter asked and Seth's eyes widened with hope again.

"You'd think she'd take me back?" Seth said and Hunter nodded.

"I can be very persuasive, the ladies love me, I even got the Head of the Science department here at Harvard a date with my son, they're eating food of each other's plate right now somewhere downtown. I could do the same for you Seth but only if you promise to tell me who tried to kill Chyna in New York City," Hunter said and Seth thought about it, or more specifically, he thought about MacKenzie. He thought about her long legs, her green eyes, her mocha brown skin, her silky black hair and her beautiful, heart-breaking smile. "Okay this isn't a movie, stop running a montage of you making out with MacKenzie while I'm talking to you," Hunter said interrupting Seth's dreamy thoughts of Mac. "If you agree to disclose everything to me about that night and I will make your fantasy a reality. Come on Seth, whady'a say?"

"You really don't think Mac's the woman I'm going to marry?" Seth asked Hunter, who suddenly fumbled.

"I'm not God, she could end up becoming your wife but the father in me knows that when a guy like you meets a woman like MacKenzie, the last thing you'll remember about her is her favourite song and the first thing you'll remember about her is how good it was to finally get to sleep with her," Hunter said. "If you marry her before then, God is good!"

"I hear that He's good, so sure I'll tell you what happened to Chyna if you get Mac to start seeing me again," Seth said and the men shook hands while Shawn and Amy shook their heads in complete disapproval.

"Thank God I'm Big Red Nosy," Amy said and she called that girl from Boston that Seth liked to talk to online not knowing that it was Sasha Banks.


	9. In the Bank

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Nine - In the Bank

Intercontinental Hotel, Breakfast Lounge, San Jose, CA

"I can't believe it," Seth said as Roman shook his head with Dean by his side. "I've been talking to her for weeks and she never said anything,"

Dean rolled his eyes, "So what, you got MacKenzie back," she said ripping into his white egg omlette. "At least with Mac you have something to brag about. That girl is crazy hot,"

Roman hit Dean on the arm, "Don't listen to him Seth, this is obviously God's way of telling you that MacKenzie is not the person you should be with,"

Seth put his hand up appalled at the mention of God's name, "Can you please not talk to me about God Roman, He's the reason -"

Dean made the cut off sign with his hand and Seth didn't finish his sentence. Roman wanted to hear what Seth had to say but Dean wouldn't have it; he didn't want anymore stress in Roman's life. "My point is, that with the way your life is right now, you cannot afford to turn down a hot, sexy, sure thing like Mac. She will make your life a lot more exciting and let's face it Seth, you haven't been having a lot of fun lately," Dean continued. "Sacha will make your life on the road impossible: you're just too alike, you'll drive each other crazy,"

Roman coughed and Seth froze. "Are you okay Big Dog?" he asked as Dean rubbed Roman's shoulder compassionately.

"I had a rough night. The girls won't go to bed they insisted on staying up with us. I don't know if I'm a bad father or the luckiest father in all the world to have the family that I have. Plus, you guys and all the locker room, the fans. If I don't get over this thing it'll be a miracle," Roman said with his signature smile.

Seth shook his head stoically. That "thing" Roman wsa talking about was cancer and it was the reason why everyone in the company was so down, or at least, he was.

"Let's change the subject," Roman said. "Back to Sacha Banks.  
I think you should go with it. Just ask her out, what's stopping you? You already know each other so well, you have a great friendship. Who's to say it couldn't develop into something a lil' more...romantic?"

Dean dropped his fork and wiped his face aggresively, "Am I not saying this clearly enough? Sacha and Seth cannot be a couple. They are too alike. Mac is the girl to bang - I mean, bank on. Not Banks, as ironic as that sounded. It made a lot of sense in my head,"

Seth sighed. He had just gotten the text from Shawn Michaels confirming that the "girl from Boston" that he'd been messaging for the last few weeks was in fact Sacha Banks.

"I'm just not attracted to Sacha. I've known her for so long, she's like one of you guys," Seth replied.

"Are you blind? Have you seen Sacha? She's beautiful!" Roman said incredulous. "You have got to be blind if you can't see that."

"She's not beautiful, she's a tomboy. Seth's right, she's like us plus all she's do is boss you around," Dean argued. "You need somebody who will drop their panties on demand and that ain't Sacha Banks,"

Roman burst out laughing at Dean's comment. "You clearly don't know what Seth needs in a significant other. Do you think that all Seth needs is someone to hook up with? No, he needs a real relationship. Someone to share his life with, not his bodily fluids,"

Seth hid his face in his hands, "I don't think I have any fluids left. I'm like a mummy man I'm so dry. I can't tell you the last time I even -"

"-Hey I'm trying to eat here, I don't want the image of you doing that to yourself in my head while I'm eating!" Dean Ambrose said biting into his french toast.

"You think she'd kiss me if I leaned in to kiss her?" Seth asked Roman.

"You talking 'bout Banks?" Roman asked him raising a suspicious eyebrow. "I think you're way passed the first kiss stage Seth,"

Dean almost choked on his toast, "Are you out of your mind Roman?! There is no way Sacha Banks would even consider sleeping with him. That woman is locked up so tight you need a security pass just to hold her hand!"

"We're not talking about just some guy okay? This is Seth "Freakin'" Rollins, there is not a pair of legs he can't get in-between," Roman Reigns said and Seth blushed.

"Aw thanks Roman, that's so dirty," he said sarcastically.

"That's what makes this so cool man, Sacha is so selective there's no way she'd turn down our boy Ambrose. I get so excited at the idea of Seth being the one she goes for and she could have any guy she wanted," Roman said. "Why not our boy?"

Dean shook his head fiercely, "No way, I think she'd reject him just like she rejected every other hot guy back in the day. Why do you think she's still single?" Dean fired back. "You think you can please a woman like Sacha Banks, you're crazy if you think you stand a chance with her,"

Just as Dean was expousing his reasons for Seth to turn down the idea of dating Banks, the Boss showed up with Bayley and Ember Moon. The Boss cleared her throat as the Shield fell silent at her appearance.

"Hi Seth," she said combing back a long lock of her purple hair showing her pretty face much to the delight of Roman Reigns and the indignation of Dean Ambrose.

"What do you want, can't you see we're eating?" he said rudely and Reigns punched him on the shoulder and made an apologetic face to the three NXT Champions.

"That's alright I've learned to ignore Dean on loop," Sacha replied and Seth laughed.

"That's not funny," Dean said to Seth who turned his attention to the Boss.

"So what brings you to our table? You know we're kind of an exclusive group, not many people can come up to us like this," Seth said and Ember looked uneasy. "See? The Shield has a severe effect on people, Ember's about to pass out... Dean give her your chair,"

"How about I give her my lap?" Dean replied and Bayley hit him over the head and finished his toast.

"Have some class Ambrose. That's no way to talk to a former NXT Champion," Bayley said and Ember hid behind her NXT alumn.

"I knew it was a bad idea to come over here with you guys, no-one comes over to the Shield uninvited," she said.

"Hey you got your invite, I offered you a seat but if you don't wanna take it, you can just stand there like that. I'll still enjoy the view either way," Ambrose said and Ember blushed even harder.

"Ow, Ember that's my arm!" Bayley said as Ember squeezed Bayley for support. Her legs were so weak she could barely stand.

"He is so cute!" she said to Bayley.

"Try to be professional Ember," Sacha said. "She's new Seth and I wanted her to get used to rolling with the upper tier of the Women's Division. It just so happens that we know you guys pretty well. Hopefully, she'll get used to you the way Bayley and me did,"

"Instead of acting like a total dork," Roman said and Sacha laughed.

"We're all dorks Roman," she said. "You're the biggest dork out of all of us,"

"That's not true," Roman said defensively before pulling up a picture of him with his daughter dressed up like a yellow rubber duck. "Did I send you this? It was from our Daddy-Daughter Day," he said to Sacha, Bayley and a blushing Ember Moon.

"Oh how cute!" Ember said as Ambrose looked her up and down.

"That's what I said when you walked up to the table," he said and Ember blushed so hard her face turned red.

"Aren't you married?" Sacha said to Dean.

"I still have eyes," Ambrose replied.

"Renee's not the jealous type," Roman said.

"That's a super cute photo Roman. I'm glad you're having so much fun with your family. I hope you can start having fun with us again soon," Bayley said and Roman stood up and hugged the Hugger.

"Thanks Bayley," he said and Seth's face saddened. Everyone missed Roman, his absense left a whole in the locker room so deep nothing could fill it. Not even a date with the Boss, or so he thought...

"So onto better things," Sacha said changing the subject, "Seth I would love to go out with you, like as a couple. Can you come to Harvard next week? I gotta meet Hunter and he's still at Harvard with the Brain. I thought it would be the best place for us to have our first date, since it is half an hour from my home town,"

"See, already she's calling the shots. I told you dating Sacha Banks is the worst thing you could ever do," Ambrose said to Seth who was now blushing more than Ember Moon.

"You want to be my girlfriend?" Seth said to Sacha in disbelief.

"I don't just wanna be your girlfriend," Sacha said and she sat on Seth's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck gently.

Roman's mouth dropped before he smiled beautifically, "She's gonna kiss him!" he whisphered to Ambrose who was not into the idea of Seth and Sacha at all.

"Do you have a problem with interraccial couples Dean?" Ember asked him.

"No I like you don't I? And you're as black as the sun," Dean replied and Ember frowned.

"I think the sun is golden, I don't think its black," she replied.

"Oh yeah you're right. Its probably just the way I'm feeling," Ambrose said watching contemptfuly as Sacha and Seth kissed.

Clearly Sacha wanted to advance the relationship beyond what Seth expected proving that Roman was right and Dean was wrong.

"That's what we came over here to find out, so we can lie about it on Social Media. Before everyone gets a chance to find out, these two can at least try to have a normal relationship," Bayley said to Roman and Dean.

"I don't know how much of a relationship Sacha and Seth are going to have at this rate." Ember said as Sacha and Seth made out. "I didn't expect things to move so fast,"

"They better move fast, we don't know how much time we have left," Roman said and everyone looked at him sadly.

Seth would have looked too but he was too busy locked into Sacha's lips to respond, for the first time in months, Roman's illness was the last thing on his mind and Sacha Banks was the first, followed by a soon-to-be-single Charlene MacKenzie.

"Wait," Seth said pulling back and trying to catch his breath, "I don't wanna do this here, its a little crowded. Can we go for a walk? There's so much we have to talk about,"

Sacha glanced down at Seth and bit her bottom lip, "Looks like the last thing you want to do is talk," she said grinding against Seth. "But I'll go for a walk with you Seth, give you a chance to catch your breath. Do you guys mind hanging out with the Shield while we're gone?"

Ember almost collapsed but Bayley shrugged that it was no problem.

"Yeah why don't you two go for a "walk", we'll be fine right here with Roman and Dean, right Ember?" Bayley said but Ember had already left, she ran all the way back to the lobby leaving Bayley with the only two members of the Shield not to be on a date with Sacha Banks. "Its about time right?" she said sitting next to them, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for those two to get together?"

"Dean thought I was crazy," Roman said.

"You are crazy, I think that cancer's gone to your head. How can you not see how wrong for each other they are? And FYI, it has nothing to do with the colour of Sacha's skin. It has everything to do with the size of Sacha's ego, I didn't even like the way she came over here bossing us around like she owns the place,"

"Shawn and Amy said it was okay. She cleared it with them first, you need to lighten up Dean. This is the right move for Seth, he needs to be with someone who genuinely cares about him. Not just some hot girl trying to get into this business by sleeping her way to the top," Bayley said reaching for the syrup, "Pass me those pancakes please,"

"Of course here you go Bayley, see if that was Sacha she would have just taken them," Ambrose said and Roman smiled. This union between Sacha and Seth meant more to him than Dean and Bayley could understand, even if it was happening so fast.

In the Lobby:

Ember was by the elevator waitng for it to come so she could go back to her room.  
As she waited for it Alexa Bliss came around from eating breakfast and saw her standing there.

"Hey Ember, why are you sweating? I thought you already worked out?" she asked Moon.

"Sacha and Bayley took me over to the Shield table so Sacha could ask out Seth and I totally freaked out, I am not used to seeing those guys upclose. They are beyond hot, they're effing nuclear. I just had to get away from them before I passed out,"

Alexa laughed at Ember's reaction to the Shield, "Not too many people can be hot with cancer but Roman somehow manages to pull it off," she said. "Is he okay? I heard he had a rough night,"

"I didn't ask but he was very happy to see Sacha and Seth get together," Ember said.

"Why anyone would date Seth Rollins I have no idea. The guy is a total monster. He turns down every girl that asks him out. I've seen girls runaway in tears after saying one word to him. He just turns everyone down flat. Sacha better know what she's getting into," Alexa said and Ember frowned.

"Since when do you care about Sacha, I thought you hated her?" Ember said.

"I do hate Sacha but one thing I will always put above my issues with anyone is who they chose to spend their lives with. I've been happily engaged forever and I'm still happy because I know I'm with the right person. I just don't think Sacha and Seth are a good fit," Alexa said. "Why didn't you ask him out Ember, he likes black girls. Not many white boys get to go out with Charlene MacKenzie and her skin is the same colour as yours. Seth dated her for months before they broke up over that thing in New York,"

"Sacha is black too, plus she's white so she's got the best of both worlds, so that answers the first stupid question. Secondly, what happened in New York?" Ember asked Bliss.

"I've said too much, hope you get over your Shield nerves. If you're gonna be hanging out with those guys you're gonna need a strong stomach," Bliss said before walking away leaving Ember scratching her head.

"I gotta find out what happened in New York. Maybe I could see Hunter in Boston, I better ask Bayley but that means I have to go back over to the Shield table," she said and then she took a deep breath. "Okay Ember, you're hanging with the upper tier now, time to stop being such a wuss,"

As Ember summoned up the courage to go back over to the Shield table, Alexa Bliss watched her go before sneaking out of the hotel. She pulled out her cell-phone and called Cathey Kelly, the NXT lead backstage annoucer who now worked for DX Inc after she got promoted.

"Hey Cathey, I gotta hot story for you. Seth Rollins is dating Sacha Banks," she said and before Dean Ambrose could finish his breakfast, the news that Seth and Sacha were dating was all over social media.

"So much for privacy," Bayley said as her phone starting flashing with tweets from fans asking her if Sacha and Seth were dating. "Remember guys, for now we stick to the story. Seth and Sacha are just friends," she said but Roman and Dean shook their heads at their phones.

"I don't think that's going to fly now," Ember said holding up her phone and showing Bayley a picture of Seth and Sacha kissing by the hotel parking lot that Alexa Bliss had just taken.

"Sacha get back in here!" Alexa called out from the parking lot, "Everyone can see you!"

Sacha tightened her grip around Seth's neck and let the past traumatic weeks and months in Seth's life all fade away in one fantastic kiss.

"Seth Rollins!" came the always aggravated voice of Charlene MacKenzie but even that couldn't stop Seth. He was loving every second kissing the Boss. It would take a hurricane to pull those two apart. Seconds later, they were apart.

Alexa Bliss had Sacha by the arm and MacKenzie had Seth.

"We need to talk now," Alexa said to Sacha.

"So do we!" MacKenzie said to Seth. "We have a date in Boston with Triple H and the DX family,"

"No, we have a date in Boston with Triple H and the DX family." Sacha said breaking away from Alexa.

MacKenzie gasped, "Your accent, it sounds so Bostonian...so you're the girl from Boston, the girl that Seth's been messaging online," she said with a smile.

"How did you know about that?" Sacha asked MacKenzie.

"Well I am smart, I'm not just a drop dead goregous model with long legs and a degree in marketing and a masters in the bedroom," Mac replied and Seth smirked.

"I've never been happier; I've got two beautiful women fighting over me in a hotel parking lot. I can't date you both so here's what I'm gonna do; you three can stay out here and talk while I go finish breakfast. After that I will have made my decision as to who I'm going to take to Boston with me to see Triple H and the DX family," Seth said before going back inside, leaving Sacha with a confident smile, MacKenzie with a bruised ego and Alexa Bliss with a dilemma. Should she tell Banks to break it off before she gets hurt or does she support her in her new relationship with Seth Rollins?

"Sacha, there's something I gotta tell you about Seth. Its somthing nobody knows, not even you but I think its really important I tell you before you decide to keep seeing him or not, or if he decides to keep seeing you," Alexa Bliss said.

"If its coming from you then its not worth hearing. Save it Bliss, I don't wanna hear one word out of your mouth!" Sacha said before turning to MacKenzie, "As for you MacKenzie, you can try all you want, Seth is gonna chose me because I mean more to him than you ever will,"

"I'll see you in Boston, actually no I won't but I'll be sure to send you a photo message of me and Seth making love on the floor of his bedroom," MacKenzie said and Alexa frowned.

"You already know the room you're going to do it in? What do you plan your sexual activity in advance?!" she asked the Preying Mantis but MacKenzie ignored her and walked off leaving Bliss with Sacha. "I hope he sees you in Boston Mac!" she cried out and Sacha scowled at her. "Let me explain. Trust me Banks, you don't want to have anything to do with Seth. He's the reason-"

"The reason what?!" Sacha asked Bliss angrily and Bliss got mad and fell silent.

"I don't know why I waste my time trying to help you. You're not the Boss, you're the Bitch," Bliss said before walking away and leaving Sacha in the hotel parking lot by herself, wondering if she should go inside or wait for Seth to come to her. It was a question she'd asked herself ever since they first met. Now it was time for Seth to answer the question and finally she would know if they were going to be the couple Shawn and Amy Michaels said they were meant to be. The Anointed Couple said they were so it had to be true, Sacha was willing to bank on that.

Sacha walked back inside and saw Seth with the other members of the Shield and Bayley and Ember surprisingly sitting down together talking. Before she could motion towards them a million little lights started blinking in her face. The people staying at the hotel were suddenly advancing on her asking her if she was dating Seth Rollins.

Before she could answer Seth came over to her and kissed her passionately in front of them all. Sacha smiled relieved after they broke the kiss, "Does that answer your question, now get out of here. We've got a date to go on," Seth said and Sacha squeeezed Seth's waist and clung to him like glue.

"I'm never letting you go," she whisphered to herself, it was a promise only she could hear,of course God heard it too.

I'm going to hold you to that, God said from Heaven but Sacha didn't hear him.

"What did you say?" Seth asked Sacha as they embraced, "I thought I heard you whispher something,"

"Nothing, it was just between me and God," Sacha replied and Seth's face tightened at the mention of God. That was one Name he didn't care for these days.

"Please don't talk about God, let's just focus on being together forever," Seth said and Sacha nodded and they kissed in the hotel entrance way much to the delight of the guests coming in from outside and seeing the embrace upclose and personal while the Shield, Bayley, Ember and Bliss watched from a distance and the Preying Mantis made her way to Boston ahead of schedule ready to mount her defense against the new hot couple of DX Inc to DX themselves.


	10. Bliss and Tell

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Ten - Bliss and Tell

**Please note: this chapter contains some mild references that are suggestive in nature **  
**and may not be suitable for younger readers**

Harvard Campus, 12pm

Hunter was making reservations for Sacha and Seth's first date during Hayworth's science lecture. He had decided to invite the entire DX family and spoil any chance Sacha and Seth had of having a good time. MacKenzie had called him the day before and made her case for why she would be a better girlfriend than Sacha Banks. Hunter was pretty convinced by her argument, mostly because it included her being in bed with Seth before midnight the next day. Hunter's biggest goal was to make sure Seth had taken at least one woman to bed before the end of year.  
The chances of that being Sacha Banks were not good and Seth had so much on his mind, he needed a sure thing and MacKenzie was it.

This of course enraged the rest of his DX family but it wasn't anything Hunter wasn't already used to. Amy and Shawn protested the loudest and it was very similar to how they sounded before they fell in love and became the talk of the wrestling world.

"Don't worry Hayworth, you can date McKenzie in three years when she's had a third divorce and is deciding which reality TV show to promote her fourth divorce," Hunter said as Hayworth tried to focus on the subject at hand and his father's immoral perspective on Seth and Sacha as a couple.

"Dad, I know that this is asking a lot but wouldn't it be wise to perhaps listen to the rest of your family instead of shipwrecking a perfectly nice pairing for no real good reason other than for Seth to lose his virginity to a whore?" Hayworth said and everyone in the lecture hall gasped.

Hayworth had spoken directly into the mic on his desk.

"We're writing a play based on Romeo and Juliet, we're just deciding who should play the part, a whore or a virgin," Hunter said.

"I think they were both virgins," Kendrick Alexander said.

"Yeah but then why did they get drunk and end up doing it in Mercutio's Ford sedan?" Hunter said.

"I don't think Ford was around in the 15th century," the lecturer said shaking her head. "Hayworth please stay after class I need to check your head to make sure your father hasn't damaged it with his stupidity,"

"I'm immune Ms Alexander, my mother passed on some really good genes, otherwise I don't think I'd be able to walk in a straight line by now," Hayworth replied and Kendrick Alexander laughed.

Hayworth turned the mic away and went back to their conversation about Seth and Sacha, "Sacha's nice, she'll be worth the wait. MacKenzie seems a little expensive,"

"She's not a real whore son," Hunter said. "Why does everyone give Mac such a hard time? She's beautiful, she's talented and she works really hard,"

"She's dated Cameron, Uncle Shawn and both Nashes, why would you inflict such an unscrupulous woman on a guy like Seth Rollins?" Hayworth replied. "She's not the right person for him,"

"She is so, plus she never actually slept with Shawn, Tristan Nash or Cameron, she just wanted to have a shot. If I remember correctly Shawn wsa demon possessed at the time for all three of those relationships. That's the guy you want me to listen to when it comes to setting Seth up?" Hunter said.

"Why don't you let Rollins decide for himself? He's a smart guy he'll choose the right girl," Hayworth said.

"He's not smart when it comes to women. He's turned down more females than chambermaids turn down bedsheets. Its time for him to grow up and get laid like the rest of us," Hunter said and Hayworth rolled his eyes.

"I'm so glad Uncle Shawn is my Uncle Shawn, otherwise I'd think that casual sex was a commandment," Hayworth said.

"Hey, if it wasn't for casual sex you wouldn't be here and neither would LC or Aurora. You should get down on your knees and thank God for making me the man-whore that I am Hayworth," Hunter said and Hayworth tried not to lose his temper.

"Dad I'm not starting an escort agency so you can just rip up that proposal you're writing," Hayworth said.

"How'd you know about that, I hadn't even asked Shawn to finish proof-reading it for me," Hunter said.

"Why are you still here?" Hayworth said exasperated by his father's degenerate Brain. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to ruin Seth and Sacha's first date?"

"Yes I should, make sure you show up tonight Hayworth. I want you to have a front row seat on the worst date in Boston history," Hunter said.

"I'm bringing Kendrick, I told her it would be a good study in human depravity," Hayworth said and Hunter smiled.

"I'm so proud of you for dating your Chemistry lecturer," Hunter said.

"Well I am part Degenerate, fortunately for me she likes me for my Brain not my family name," Hayworth said as Hunter nosily left the lecture hall.

"What's wrong with your name?" Hunter asked.

"The fact that its your name is what disturbs her I think," Haywoth said. "I'll see you at 7pm,"

"LC and Cameron will be there with Faith Star. I'll try and talk Shawn and Amy into being on their best behaviour so they don't spoil it for everyone, especially Seth and Sacha with their Anointing," Hunter said.

"If it wasn't for the Anointed Couple, we would all still think Mom was dead. When are we going to get answers from Uncle Randy and Aunt Trish on getting her out of the Atlantic and back up here with us?"

Hunter sighed, he hadn't spoken to Randy and Trish in days.

"I don't know son; something's not right about all this. I feel like Randy and Trish are hiding something from me,"

"Dad that's impossible, they can't hide anything from you. They can only tell the Truth," Hayworth said.

"Yeah well, they better tell me the Truth about Joanie, or they'll be more bodies in the Altantic that will need to be rescued," Hunter said referring to The Ortons.

"There's probably a lot more to Mom's so-called death than we know Dad, the Ortons are probably just protecting us. Didn't Seth say it was best if we never found out the Truth about what happened to her?" Hayworth said.

"Seth will tell us a lot more after he's had sex with the Preying Mantis," Hunter replied and Hayworth frowned.

"I don't think those two things are related at all, maybe you should wait until Trish and Randy fill you in before you go masterminding this whole thing," Hayworth suggested.

"The day I take advice from a virgin is the day I die," Hunter said and Hayworth's mouth dropped. "I'm sorry son, its just a fact, virgins are stupid,"

Hayworth's mouth dropped even lower as Hunter left with his son feeling more like a Bonehead and less like a Brain for the first time he could remember.

"Does being a virgin make me stupid?" he wondered to himself until he remembered that his father wasn't a virgin and he was the dumbest man he'd ever met. "Get a hold of yourself Hayworth," he encouraged himself and he went back to listening to his date teach chemistry, which was so much easier now that his father was on his way to ruin what could otherwise have been a delightful date for The Boss and The Architect.

Olive Garden, Boston, MA,7pm

Hunter arrived bright and early but when he got to the restaurant there was no-one there except him and a bunch of disappointed fans. News of Seth and Sacha's first date had gotten out on the Internet and the Northeast region of the WWE Universe invited itself along to share the moment. This was all thanks to one person, the ever concerned and always diabolical Alexa Bliss, who was the only person at the restaurant aside from Hunter himself. Even Hayworth got the news that Seth and Sacha had cancelled the date and were heading back to Harvard with the DX family.

"What happened where is everyone? Sacha and Seth are late but I expected everyone else to be here by now," Hunter said.

"The date got cancelled due to a leak on social media," Alexa Bliss said.

"I'm so pissed, I've been planning this for hours!" Hunter said chomping on a garlic and herb breadstick. "Now how I am supposed to spend the rest of my evening?"

"You could sit down and let me tell you what happened to your wife in New York City," Alexa Bliss said and Hunter looked at her seriously.

"That's not funny Alexa, do not be saying things that aren't true espcially where Joanie's concerned," Hunter said.

"Hey this is a sure fire headline. I know what happened to her, well at least I know why she ended up underwater. I suggest you sit down because you are gonna wanna hear what I have to say," Alexa Bliss said.

Hunter decided to hear Bliss out so he sat down opposite the former Women's Champion and listened to her explain what happened to Joanie. After she had finished talking Hunter pulled out his cell-phone and called Stephanie. When she didn't answer he took Alexa by the hand, called for his driver to bring the DX Machine around and they drove straight to the airport and headed to New York City. Since he couldn't get Trish and Randy on the phone, he was going to pay a trip to them in person and they were going to either confirm what Alexa told him, or give him a solid gold reason to fire Miss Bliss on the spot.

"If you're lying Alexa, your career is over - O-V-R, OVER! Do you understand me?" Hunter said and Alexa frowned.

"You forgot the E," she said.

"No I didn't, I left it out on purpose because that's how quick I'm going to fire you if you're lying," Hunter replied.

"I'm not lying boss, but let me ask you when Trish and Randy confirm what I told you, will you fire the Shield for not telling you what happened to your wife?" Alexa asked Hunter.

The Game said nothing, "If you don't fire them, what will you say to Joanie when she comes back to you? Are you really going to let them get away with it?" Alexa continued but the Game remained silent. He was silent because he was praying that it wasn't True. For the first time in a long time, he hoped God would do a miracle to stop anymore people in his life from hurting him and the people he cared about.

Meanwhile back on campus...

Seth looked at his phone and saw the number of messages that MacKenzie had left him. He decided to pay her a visit and officially end it between them so that he could move on with Sacha free and clean.

Free and clean weren't two words Charlene MacKenzie was used to hearing when people spoke about her and tonight she was going to give Seth a lot to talk about.

As Seth entered MacKenzie's hotel room, he lost focus when he walked towards a figure laying on a bed covered in rose pink silk. Mac sat on top wearing one of her famous skin tight dresses and a beautiful smile. Seth opened his mouth to speak but the sight of MacKenzie was too breathtaking, he couldn't form a cogent sentence.

"I leave now," was all he could say and as he turned to leave MacKenzie grabbed his arm and slid her hand under his shirt.

"Leaving so fast? I wanted to show you something you can really get your hands on," she said and she pulled off her dress and revealed her underwear, which was also rose pink and quite impressive considering how little of it there was to look at.

"Wow," Seth said. "I've never been so wrong about a person in my life,"

Mac smiled in delight, "You mean you were wrong about leaving me for Sacha Banks?" she said hopefully.

"No, I was right about that. I was wrong about Hunter. He was crazy for thinking I should be with you. Did you really think this was going to impress me Mac? I've seen better underwear on WWE Shop," he said and MacKenzie scowled.

"Are you crazy? This is quality stuff Rollins, not the cheap stuff girls from Boston are accustomed to," MacKenzie said.

"You're right the underwear is high quality, its just the girl that's wearing them that's cheap," Seth Rollins said shaking his head.

"Oh I've heard enough, this playing hard to get crap is getting old. I know for a fact that you haven't been with a woman in a long time. Hunter gave me a breakdown of every girl you've ever dated, I know the height, weight and hair colour of every girl you've ever dated and based on that list I am doing you a favour right now buddy. Now get over here and get in bed right now!" MacKenzie said and Seth kissed her on the head trying not to lose his cool.

"I leave now," he said feeling his courage leaving him. Everything he said to Mac was true but he was still human and he was about to turn away from one of the most beautiful women in the world. "I want my first time to be with someone special, not some-one Hunter asked to sleep with me dressed up like a 1930's showgirl,"

Mac started to laugh, "Wait-a-minute, did you say your first time?" she said and Seth rolled his eyes.

"What did you think I was like you? I don't think its wrong to wait Mac, I wish you were the type of girl to wait. You're living proof that we should all wait," Seth said and he tried to leave but Mac pressed herself against him and stroked his chest. Her touch was as soft as the silk underwear she was almost wearing and she smelt just as pretty. The smell of coconut and rose filled his nostrils as her fingertips played with his chest hair.

"How much longer can you wait Seth? You're way past puberty.  
If you really wanna be with Sacha, that's gonna be another two years, plus the engagement. Seems like a long time to wait when you can just turn around, come over to this bed and make love to me right now," MacKenzie said and Seth felt his heart racing the way Ember Moon felt at the Shield table in San Jose.

"You're right Mac, it is a long time to wait. That's why I have to make sure Sacha knows I'm serious and that I will wait.  
Let go of me Preying Mantis, I don't want my first time to be with you," Seth said and Mac let him go.

"You know what I changed my mind, I don't want to be disappointed. I've always preferred to be with men who know how to make love to a woman and not just any woman, Charlene MacKenzie. I'm not interested in being your test drive before you go wondering on over to the Boss. When you're done with her, then you can come back to me and I can show you everything she did wrong, then we can do it properly. I can't believe you're a virgin. Seth Rollins you're pathetic!" Mac said before she fell onto the bed laughing.

Seth felt like crying, Mac was so mean and beautiful, which for some reason made it worse. Sacha would never laugh at him for waiting before he slept with someone. Now that Mac was off the table he had more confidence that Sacha was the one he wanted to be with.

"You know she'll probably laugh at you too right? I mean, you're Seth "Freakin" Rollins, how are you going to feel when she rejects you for falsely impersonating a stud?" Mac said wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

"That's enough Mac," Seth said hurt. "I've known Sacha forever she'd never laugh at me like you are right now,"

Mac stopped laughing when she saw how sad Seth looked. She was secretly hurt too, after all, they'd been dating for awhile and it would have been cool to be his first. She at least owed it to him to be honest before he went all in with Sacha Banks.

"You know Seth, you shouldn't get your hopes up," she said and Seth frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"Sex isn't as good as everyone makes it seem," she said.

"Everyone? Including you?" Seth said.

"No I'm really good in bed that's no lie. Its a skill that I've spent many years perfecting, why do you think Hunter wanted us to hook up so bad? I'm a legend, at least with me you'd be guaranteed to have a good time. With Sacha, she'd probably be scared of disappointing you, given how disappointed she's been in the past," Mac said.

"You don't know Sacha, where do you get off saying that?" Seth said defending his best friend now girlfriend.

"Girls talk, I know why Sacha turned down guy after guy and its not because she's fussy. She's been hurt Seth, so like I said, don't get your hopes up. If you're looking for your first time to be incredible, Sacha is not the girl you should be going for," Mac said. "There's a lot of scar tissue under that pink hair,"

Mac kissed Seth lovingly, "I'm here if you change your mind, just think about it okay?" she said and Seth turned red.

"I don't think I've ever seen you with so little clothing," he said and Mac smiled.

"Well you could always see me with a lot less, just stay with me tonight and you can see the full MacKenzie in all her radiant glory. Trust me Seth, you will not regret it," MacKenzie said.

"Yes you will," came the stern voice of Shawn Michaels.

"How did you get in here!" Mac said covering herself up.

"Its called Transcendence, now for goodness sake put some clothes on Mac. What are you trying to do, re-create the Garden of Eden?" Shawn said and Mac ran into the bathroom leaving Seth and Shawn alone. "We gotta go Hunter's looking for you and he ain't happy,"

"Well I'm not sleeping with Mac so the deal is off. He'll have to find out what happened to Chyna on his own or through ATM and the DX kids. I'm staying with Sacha," Seth said.

Shawn could see the effect Mac had on Seth, the poor guy could hardly stand up straight. It was a Mac Attack and if not handled correctly, it could be deadly and Shawn had a certificate in damage control were MacKenzie was concerned.

"Forget about Mac, as hard as that will be for the next few days, the effect of the Mac Attack will wear off. Alexa Bliss told Hunter that you're responsible for Chyna ending up in the Atlantic Ocean, you, Dean and Roman," Shawn said.

"That lying Blissh," Seth said trying to shake off the Mac Attack.

"Anyway Hunter's trying to get Trish and Randy to confirm her story, what I need to know from you now kid is the Truth. Were you behind Joanie ending up in the Atlantic Ocean?" Shawn asked Seth as they Transcended back to Hayworth's Harvard dorm where Trish and Randy were waitng for them.

"We'll answer that," Trish said and she smiled at Seth. "Don't worry about Mac, you'll get over her. Trust me,"

Seth frowned at Trish. He'd heard so much about the Truth: Trish Stratus but this was the first time she had given him her advice. If he trusted her there was no telling what would happen in his life. The adventures of ATM were legendary and he was already in over his head with Hunter after what happened to Joanie in New York City.

"I don't trust you," he said and Randy stepped up to him.

"Well you should, my wife knows more than you do. Listening to her is the best thing you could ever do," Randy said.

It wasn't that simple for Seth. He knew ATM were an angelic trio dispatched from Heaven by God to minister to the wrestling world and the world overall. If he listened to one member it would be like believing that God cared about him, and that was something Seth just didn't believe as long as Roman Reigns had cancer.

"I'm sorry but I don't agree, now if you'll excuse me I have to take a long, cold shower," Seth said turning to leave.

"Are you sure you wanna leave now Seth? Because if you decide to ignore me, you're gonna have to face Hunter alone," Trish said and Seth gulped.

"And given how mad he is right now that is something you do not want to do," Randy added and Seth thought about it.

"Okay its been a long night I must be still suffering from the smell of MacKenzie's hair. Let's hear it, what do you guys wanna tell me that's so important?" he said stubbornly and Trish, Randy and Shawn smiled. It was the first step in a long journey they were about the take with the former WWE Champion and proud member of The Shield.


	11. Flood Damage

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Eleven - Flood Damage

Hayworth's dorm, Harvard Campus, Cambridge, MA

ATM were now together with the DX family in Hayworth's dorm.  
The Helmsley prince was still on his date with Kendrick Alexander and Hunter was on his way back from New York City after Trish called him and told him they were all in Cambridge, MA.

Cameron was talking to Seth to make sure he was okay.  
Shawn told his son about the Mac Attack and the Heartbreak Kid's kid totally understood why Seth felt so discombabulated. It was the effect that Mac had on all the men she pursued and it felt rotten.

Trish motioned for Cameron to finish talking with Seth so they could all hear what she had to say about Chyna.

"Was she wearing silk underwear?" Cameron asked Seth who nodded.

"Yeah but it was barely on her. Its crazy how hot she is," Seth said. "And she smelt like a thousand roses mixed with coconut,"

"Tom Ford?" Cameron asked and Seth frowned.

"Whose Tom Ford?" Seth asked him.

"Its the name of the purfume I bought Mac when we were "dating"." Cameron explained and LC decided to interject.

"Actually its called Soleil Blanc, that's what she wears when she goes after white boys," LC said and Seth gulped.

"What does she use for black boys?" he asked curiously.

"Black Orchid," LC and Cameron replied at the same-time. "Also by Tom Ford,"

Seth sighed, "I'm so glad your father came along when he did, I would have hated to be one of Mac's victims," he said.

"But you would enjoyed it as she slowly made love to you, taking her time, finding every place you wanted to be touched the most before you filled her up with your white boy goodness," Randy added and Cameron and LC burst out laughing.

"White boy goodness?" Remi Michaels said looking at her brother incredulous. "Is that what you call it when you and LC-"

"Okay I think we've heard enough about LC and Cameron's bedroom antics," Lita said.

"Actually those were MacKenzie's bedroom antics I was describing, the woman is a legend. You missed out on some good sex Rollins," Randy said.

"That's what Hunter said, so why do I feel like I just got saved from the worst night of my life?" Seth said.

"Because you're a virgin and everyone knows that virgins are stupid," Randy said and Seth blushed.

"How did you know that?!" he yelled at Randy.

"I'm the King's Oracle and I'm married to The Truth: Trish Stratus, I know everything God wants me to know," Randy replied.

"Why are you embarassed? You have something special that is only meant for one person, not named Charlene MacKenzie, I'd get happy about that if I was you," Remi Michaels said and RJ nodded.

"We're virgins too and we're waiting like you Seth, you're not alone buddy," RJ Orton said to the blushing Rollins.

"I'm not your buddy and you're nineteen you haven't waited as long as I have, talk to me when you're ten years older," Seth replied.

"I think we would have done it by then, right Aunt Trish?" Remi asked RJ's mom and Trish averted her eyes.

"Can we please get back to the reason we're all here?" she asked everyone.

"You mean we're not here to talk about Seth's sex life? I was given the impression that we were, tonight was supposed to be his first date with Sacha Banks and thanks to Shawn he didn't lose his virginity to the Preying Mantis," Amy said. "I think that's something worth talking about,"

"Well I don't want to talk about it in front of our children, if you want to Amy you can follow up with Seth when were done talking about what happened to Joanie in New York earlier this year," Trish said and Amy nodded much to the chagrin of Seth Rollins. He wanted to hear more about his sex life from people he never spoke to about anything, ever. It wasn't something he could talk about to his real friends like Dean, Roman, Kofi, Xavier and Big E. He seemed to have a lot in common with the DX family and he felt really comfortable talking with them about something only the Shield knew. Of course MacKenzie knew now but the less time he spent thinking about her the easier it would be for him to make it through the night. _I should punch Tom Ford in the face_, he thought to himself before Trish began her re-cap of the hideous events that led to the loss of the beloved Chyna Helmsley.

"After Wrestlemania, Stephanie and Jeff Hardy had a little fight. Jeff asked Steph if she wanted to leave the hotel business and go back to work for DX and Steph told him that she would never have left if it wasn't for Joanie and LC coming into Hunter's life all those years ago. When Jeff asked her if she was still in love with Hunter, Steph said that she would always love him. Chyna and the Shield were playing Hide and Seek at the Enigmatic Hotel which of course, Steph and Jeff own and they heard the whole thing. The Shield tried to convince Seth to stay out of it but he insisted on confronting Stephanie about what she said about Hunter. Then after RAW the next night, Chyna confronted Stephanie out by the Hudson River. Things escalated and well, let's just say Joanie ended up in some deep water,"

"Stephanie tried to kill Joanie?!" Shawn asked in shock and Seth suddenly spoke up.

"I tried to stop her. Dean, Roman and me followed Joanie after RAW cause she looked so mad backstage. When we saw them arguing we thought let's just let them get it out of their system. The next thing we knew, we were trying to rescue Chyna from the drowning but we were too late,"

The image of Chyna's dead body soon tore all nice thoughts out of Seth's mind and he was suddenly filled with fury at the events that occured that night. "Stephanie blackmailed us into covering it up, she said she'd blame it all on us since no-one would ever believe us over her. We've been keeping it a secret all this time, I'm just so glad Joanie's alive, now she can tell the truth about what happened to her and Hunter can forgive me, Dean and Roman for not telling him what happened when he asked us," Seth said.

"So what is Alexa Bliss talking about? Why did she say you're responsible for what happened to Joanie?" Shawn asked Seth.

"Bliss saw the Shield get into the Hudson, she didn't see what happened before that," Randy said. "Plus she's got mad hate for Seth ever since he turned her down flat when she asked him out,"

"She demanded that I date her, who does that? I think she's got issues with Sacha and she just wanted me to get involved so she could rub it in Sacha's face," Seth said. "She's made a lot of enemies for herself. She had no business being at the Hudson that night, at least I was trying to help. Stephanie has issues too, the idea of her getting back with Hunter makes my stomach turn,"

"You've got a lot to learn kid, that wasn't Stephanie you saw attaking Joanie," Trish said to the Architect.

"I'm pretty sure the brunette with the screeching voice and the long brown hair was Stephanie McMahon," Seth replied.

"No it wasn't," Trish said and Shawn frowned.

"If it wasn't Steph, then who was it?" he asked Trish.

"It was a witch disguised as Steph. She's taken possession of the entire Hudson. It wasn't until Melina, Amy and me got into the water that her power was bound. Up until then she'd been casting all kinds of spells from the Hudson and Steph was one of her victims," Trish replied and Seth gulped.

"You mean what Roman, Dean and me saw that night, was really a witch?" he asked.

"It was a demonic manifestation, not Stephanie McMahon. Although I understand how you could get those things easily confused," Trish said patting Seth on the shoulder.

"So is the witch holding Joanie underwater?" Shawn asked Trish.

"Yes but we can get her out, we're just going to need a little help from the Shield to do it," Trish said.

"I'll get Roman and Dean, we'll do anything to help. Oh shoot," Seth said suddenly and Randy grinned.

"He's got a date with Sacha," Randy said and Seth punched him on the shoulder. "I could tell you how its gonna go if you're interested,"

"No don't spoil it!" Trish said to her husband and Shawn threw his hands up in frustration.

"Hello, can we get back to rescuing Chyna from the witch of the Hudson River? Seth's date can wait," Shawn said. "In the mean-time Seth you need to focus on helping us, now we probably can't use Roman because of his illness but Dean can sure give up his spare time painting Renee Young's fingernails,"

"Actually we're gonna need help from all three members of the Shield," Trish said.

"But Roman's not well, you can't expect him to get involved in this," Seth said.

"I'm sorry Seth we don't make the rules, its either all three of you or none of you, I suggest you talk to Roman and let him decide for himself if he wants to help us out," Trish said and Seth sighed exasperated.

"Hey its better than Hunter coming after you, you're better off helping us than hiding from him. He is seriously pissed at you right now for not telling him everything when he asked you about what happened before," Randy said to Seth.

"Well I'm pissed at Bliss for running her mouth and ruining my first date with Sacha. If she gets involved in my business one more time that's going to be the last straw," Seth said.

"Maybe you should have just dated her Seth. Hell hath no fury like the Five Feet of Fury," Trish said.

"Please don't talk to me about dating. Between helping you, Mac and Sacha, I'd be better off being single again," Seth said and Shawn hugged him.

"You've had one Hell of a year already, don't take everything so seriously Seth. You're a young man who can date whoever he wants. You don't have to make a big deal out of everything, its not everyday a man gets to choose between MacKenzie, Sacha Banks and Alexa Bliss," Shawn said and Seth blushed.

"If I were you I'd date all three and never let them know you were seeing them all," Randy said and Trish laughed.

"I did that all the time back in the day. Christian, Jericho, Hunter - you name 'em, I dated 'em and look how I turned out married to the sexiest man on the roster, not bad for a Canadian eh?" Trish said and Shawn rolled his eyes. "What are you scowling at me for Shawn? You were a player back in the day too,"

"I'm not a player guys, I only like close personal relationships. Why do you think I only have a few friends?" Seth said.

"Because you're scared that if you start having more fun it will look like you don't care about Roman, that's why you're spending more time with Roman and Dean and less times with girls. You dating Sacha means more to Roman than you'll ever know and if you date all three Dean will buy you a new car," Randy said and Seth's eyes welled up at the mention of Roman.

"I don't wanna date all three okay? In fact I don't wanna date period," Seth said and Shawn frowned.

"What do you mean, you wanna be single again?" he asked concerned.

"No, I mean I don't want to waste anymore time looking for the right person. I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with, now if you'll excuse me I'm going to see my boys and ask them to help get Joanie out of the Hudson. And then I've got a date with the Boss that's long overdue," Seth said and Shawn wondered what he meant by that.

Trish and Randy knew exactly what it meant.

"Well that's a relief, for a minute there I thought Seth was going to break it off with Sacha," Shawn said.

"Break it off with Sacha? That's not going to happen, although after he does what he's about to do, he might wish that he did," Trish said and Shawn folded his arms crossly.

"Alright you two, enough with the cryptic language, what is Seth going to say to Sacha?" Shawn asked Trish and Randy.

"The same thing you asked Amy when you fell in love with her," Trish replied and Shawn jumped up and down with joy before grabbing his cell-phone and telling Amy that their dream for Seth and Sacha was about to come true. Based on what Trish just said of course, as usual Trish didn't tell Shawn everything.

"Why spoil his good mood?" Randy said knowing that Seth's life was about to get a lot more complicated now that he was part of the DX and ATM world.

"If you mean what I think you mean that's too quick," Remi said to RJ's dad. "He's too young to get married,"

"No you're too young to get married now that's all I have to say on this, I don't want to hear you two talk about sex ever again do you hear me?" Trish said to Remi and RJ firmly and the Righteous couple frowned as did Amy and Shawn at the hard tone Trish had taken with their beloved little couple.

"What's with Trish, why is she coming down so hard on Remi and RJ?" Shawn asked Amy as Remi and RJ felt embarassed at being chastised in front of their family.

"I guess virgins are stupid," Remi said to RJ and God's EyeGlass nodded at his girlfriend wondering if his mom knew something that he didn't about his relationship with the Red Redeemer.


	12. Turkey Club

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twelve - Turkey Club

DX Inc, Stamford, CT, 10am

Hunter was trying to focus on work but he was so distracted by the news of the Shield's involvement in his wife's death that it was hard for him to do anything productive. All he could think about was how Seth, Dean and Roman had kept everything they knew had happened to themselves for months. They knew how much he had been through and that's what hurt the most. It was really irritating him that he couldn't put his hands on them and show them just how angry he really was, but of course, he had to do things the right way which meant he had to wait for ATM before taking any action, otherwise he could be in trouble with the man upstairs.

"Hurry up and get here Shawn so I can kick the Shield's ass with permission," Hunter said to himself. As he waited Alexa Bliss decided to pay him a visit.

"Hey boss, you wanted to see me?" she said with a mischievous smile.

"No I didn't," Hunter replied as Alexa came over to his desk.

"well I thought I'd pay you a visit anyway. I wanted to talk to you about Bayley. She's got some sort of attitude problem and its really starting to affect the way I feel about myself," Alexa said stroking her hair.

"Alexa not now I'm thinking about something really important," Hunter replied.

"Well what am I supposed to do, just ignore the dirty looks she's giving me. We're supposed to be professional and that look on Bayley's face is not making me feel good about myself," Alexa continued.

"And why is that Alexa? You're beautiful, you're smart and extremely talented, what look could Bayley possibly give you to make you not feel good about yourself?" Hunter replied.

Bayley suddenly came into Hunter's office and he saw the look and grimaced.

"That look," Alexa replied offended. "Does this look like someone that should be working here?"

Hunter smiled at Bayley, "What's with the face?" he asked the former Women's Champion.

"Sacha and Seth had to cancel their first date because Alexa told everyone on social media where they were going, its the most selfish thing she's ever done," Bayley said and Alexa smiled.

"You mean the date didn't happen?" Alexa said delighted. "Oh that is such a shame,"

Alexa pretended to cry before she left the room smiling from ear-to-ear.

"That's why I look like this boss, Sacha and Seth deserve to enjoy themselves as a new couple. Once they get back on the road its all business. Alexa spoiled the one romantic night they had before coming back to work," Bayley complained as Ember Moom wondered into Hunter's office.

"Hey Boss have you seen the Shield? They said they were gonna be here later and I was hoping to catch them before they met with you," Ember asked.

Hunter's face tightened at the mention of the Shield. "The Shield are coming here? Well that's good news, at least they had the balls to show up and face me like the men I thought they were,"

Bayley and Ember exchanged glances and stepped backwards out of the room.

"What happpened, do you know why Hunter's so mad at the Shield?" Bayley asked Ember.

"No, I was just finding out if they were free to hang out later. I'm really starting to like being around those guys, especially Ambrose. He gives the best fashion advice, Renee is so lucky," Ember said and Bayley nodded.

"Yeah they're the best once you get to know them and not everybody gets to know them," Bayley said and she wondered why the man that knew the Shield the best was so mad at them.

"Hey Bayley!" came the loving voice of Trish "The Truth" Stratus as the elevator door opened to reveal ATM, Shawn and Randy. John Morrision was still in Egypt but he'd be flying out later to join them.

"Ember why aren't you getting ready for RAW?" Shawn asked the NXT Champion after Amy gave her and Bayley a hug.

"I was hoping to see the Shield," Ember said smiling brightly. Then she remembered that the Shield were in trouble. "Do you know why Hunter's so mad at them, did they do something wrong?"

Randy and Shawn exchanged glances with ATM, "Why don't we let you take care of this one. We'll wait out here for the Shield,"

ATM nodded and entered the DX office knowing that they were going to have to calm Hunter down before things got a little too heated in Stamford, Connecticut.

Downtown, The Shield were thinking about what to say to Hunter. At least they were at first, then all conversation turned to Seth and Sacha.

"Soleil Blanc?" Roman repeated as Seth told him about his run in with Charlene MacKenzie. "I've never heard of that,"

"That's because Mac's never been out with you, apparently she only uses it on white boys like me," Seth replied offended.

"Hey I use that!" Dean Ambrose said and Seth frowned at him, "It has the same affect in reverse. When I'm around Ember I spray it hard, it drives her nuts,"

"It does? How are you still married?" Seth asked Dean who loved to flirt. It was actually something Renee liked about him.

"I've never smelled it," Roman said. "Does it work on Samoans?"

"I'll spray it on Ember later so you can find out," Dean replied and Seth rolled his eyes.

"You need to leave Ember alone, she's gonna get the wrong idea about us," Seth said.

"What that we like girls of all colours and we don't discriminate based on race? I don't have a problem with letting Ember know that, if I were you I'd warm up to the war goddess, you know, just in-case things with Sacha don't work out," Dean said and Seth grimaced at Ambrose.

"And why wouldn't things work out with Sacha? We're meeting up tonight after we're done fixing things with Hunter," Seth said. "Second time's the charm right? And this time Mac won't be around to spoil it,"

"It wasn't Mac that spoiled your first date with Sacha, it was Alexa Bliss, or should I say, Alexa Bitch," Roman said pounding his fist. "You wait til I get my hands on that little witch, I'ma ring her pretty little neck like a turkey on thanksgiving,"

Seth and Dean liked it when Roman talked like that, it made them forget he was even sick.

"I'm sure Bliss has got some more nasty tricks up her sleeve but I believe tonight will be different, I think Sacha and me are going to have a good time," Seth said patting his side pocket.

"What's in your pocket?" Dean asked Seth who was gushing much to Roman's curiousity.

"I was gonna wait until after our meeting with Hunter but what the Hell I might as-well tell you guys now," Seth said and he pulled out a beautiful engagement ring. "I'm going to ask Sacha to marry me,"

Roman's face lit up like a Christmas tree while Dean shook Seth back and forth like a rag doll.

"Congratulations baby!" Roman said as Dean proceeded to shake Seth back and forth. "That's great news, I told you she was the one!"

"No she is not the one, Seth have you lost your mind?! You cannot marry the Boss!" Dean exclaimed. "She is not the right girl for you, please don't do this please! I'm begging you Seth re-consider. She's too bossy, she's too competitive, plus she doesn't even like it when guys touch her, it'll never work!"

"Will you calm down, you're out of your mind Ambrose they are perfect for each other," Roman said.

"She makes me happy, what more could I want than to be with someone who does that?" Seth said and Roman nodded.

"You have my blessing, congratulations Seth I couldn't be happier," Roman said shaking Seth's hand.

"Thanks Big Dog," Seth replied loving the look of absolute joy on Roman's face right now.

"Don't worry about Dean he'll come around and we'll both be your best men, won't we Ambrose?" Roman said to the Lunatic.

"Not on your life, I would never participate in what equals to a death sentence. You don't have to marry Sacha Banks just because she's there. Open your eyes Rollins, the world is full of beautiful women. This is a mistake, Roman tell him its a mistake,"

"Why?" Roman asked.

"Because its a mistake!" Dean said firmly and Seth hugged Dean.

"Its not a mistake. I've thought long and hard about this, marrying Sacha makes total sense. She's the only woman I wanna be with," Seth said. "I know there are a lot of women out there but frankly Dean I'm tired of looking, I wanna be with the Boss and I want you to be happy for me,"

"You just said that you thought long and hard about this, what makes you think Sacha feels the same way? What if she turns you down?" Dean said and Seth frowned.

"Why would she turn me down?" Seth asked.

"I don't know, maybe because you haven't even had your first date yet. All you've done is announce that you're dating and made out in the hotel parking lot. What about the last few days with Sacha makes you think she wants to marry you?" Dean said.

"When we were in San Jose that morning, she whisphered something. I asked her what she said but I'm pretty sure she didn't mean for me to hear it," Seth said.

"That's probably why she whisphered it Seth," Dean said sarcastically.

"What did you hear?" Roman asked Seth.

"She said she's never letting me go," Seth said and Dean fell silent...for two seconds.

"How desperate is that? Seth do you really wanna be with someone so clingy?" Dean said disgusted.

"At this stage in my life yes, I want Sacha as badly as she wants me and clearly she wants me as much as I want her so I'm gonna marry her. You'll see Dean, she's the one for me," Seth said while Dean raked his eyes and pulled his hands through his hair.

He ran ahead of Seth and Roman getting to the DX office way ahead of schedule; they hadn't even come up with a plan to calm down Hunter yet.

"Where's he going?" Roman said furrowing his brow.

Seth sighed, "Probably to ask Alexa Bliss to talk some sense into me, she hates Sacha just as much as he does. No-one else seems to mind except those two,"

"Do you think its because they think you can do better?" Roman said. "Because if it is I would love to know who Dean and Alexa is better for you than the Boss,"

Back at DX Inc, half the roster plus ATM were arguing with Alexa Bliss and Dean Ambrose over Sacha Banks.

As soon as the rest of the Shield showed up Hunter told them all to leave.

"Can she stay?" Roman said pointing to Alexa Bliss. "I got a turkey bone to pick with you Alexa,"

"Turkey? Thanksgiving's not until November Roman, hopefully you'll be cancer free by then so we can all go out and have dinner together," Hunter said sensitively.

"Thanks Boss but seriously, I need to talk to Alexa Bliss before I even get into the whole thing with your wife in New York," Roman said and Alexa gulped, even though she liked seeing Roman so full of life. Everyone did, which is why everyone was still in the DX Office.

"Guys I said get outta here, I've got business to discuss with the Shield that doesn't involve any of you. Shawn where are you going?" Hunter said as HBK turned to leave. "You, Randy and ATM can stay,"

"I hate Mondays," Trish said knowing how badly this little conversation was going to go if they hung around.

ATM sat down with Randy and Shawn while Hunter took a deep breath and started to talk to the Shield as calmly and as collectedly as he could.

"Trish and Randy told me that you were there the night my wife died. Why didn't you tell me what happened?" Hunter asked the Hounds of Justice.

"Because it wasn't our business, it was too personal for us to get involved in," Dean Ambrose answered. "Stephanie said she'd take care of it so why would we take it any further?"

"Because you saw Stephanie wrap her freakishly strong arms around my wife's neck, hold her underwater until she couldn't breathe and then walk away as if nothing ever happened Dean, that's why," Hunter said, the blood now rushing to his head and Roman, Seth and Dean exchanged weary glances.

"Um, your wife was not exactly in a normal state of mind Hunter," Roman said and Hunter frowned.

"Are you blaming Chyna for what happened?!" Hunter said alarmed.

Roman shook his head, "No I meant your other wife, Stephanie. Sorry I get the women in your life confused sometimes, must be beccause they're all crazy. Even your daughters are nuts," Roman said and Seth and Dean looked at him like he had just grown another head with no brain in it.

"Wow Roman you're so cool, talk about call it as you see it," Randy Orton said laughing at the horrified look on Hunter's face.

"Its true boss you have serious issues with women, they're all psycho, even the Christian ones. LC, Aurora, check, check. The only sane member of your family is your son Hayworth, I guess brains really don't run in your family," Roman continued and Hunter leapt to his feet about to strangle Roman Reigns when he stopped short and realised what was going on.

Seth and Dean covered Roman to protect him but Hunter just smiled and sat back down, "I see what you're trying to do Roman. You're trying to get me mad at you so I won't get mad at your brothers in arms. You're a true protege, I could never have asked for a more cerebral performance if it had come from my own head," The Game said proudly.

"Damn, I was sure that would work," Roman said under his breath. "Now we're really in trouble,"

"Yup, you sure are boys," Hunter said. "So what excuse are you going to give me now Seth? This isn't some storyline with you and the Authority this is my real life and I expect my favourite faction to set the same example that I set with Shawn everyday for the past 30 years that the other guys and gals in the locker room can follow. All what you did tells me is that you don't care about me, you don't care about Chyna, all you care about is yourselves. That's not how we roll here at DX Inc boys; we are loyalty based and I take this kind of deception very seriously indeed,"

Hunter rose to his feet and came closer to the Shield, "Do I need to remind you what happeened to the Kliq when they betrayed Shawn and me and tried to steal our company?  
We destroyed the Kliq in Biblical fashion and if you think because you're younger I'll go easier on you, ask Randy how easy I went on him when he tried to upstage me back when we were in Evolution,"

"That was a storyline, we've never actually ever had a problem," Randy interjected.

"The point is Randy is that I have a low threshold for betrayal, sure that wasn't real but what happened to Kevin Nash sure was. Just ask his son and widow and they'll tell you how one act of betrayal ruined their lives forever," Hunter recounted.

The Shield frowned, "Are you threatening us?" Seth asked and now he got to his feet. "Don't be stupid, I know Hayworth is the Brain in the Helmsley family but let's not let all your marbles drop out of the bag. In real life, you would be the dumbest piece of crap on the face of the planet to mess with us or our lively hoods,"

Dean and Roman stood up next to Seth, "Seth's right, we're not scared of you Hunter. In fact, we're exactly what you need if you wanna find out what's going on with your wife, both of them, both current and ex," Dean Ambrose said. "No-one understands women like the Shield, we can help you out.  
But if you threaten us, not only will you lose the best thing that happened to the wrestling business since you guys retired, but you'll be hurting from all the boots we'll be putting in your ass if you even try to come at us,"

Trish and Randy shook their heads, "Please let us figure this out Hunter. You're making this way too personal, the Shield have nothing to do with what happened to your wife, wives - both of them. It was a witch okay, a demonic manifestation and that's kind of our specialty so we should handle it,"

"I don't care what you call it, they knew about it and they should have told me right away. They work for me Stratus, it was the least they could have done. But they sat on it like the ungrateful bastards they really are. How dare you three stand up in my presence, you think you can stand in my face like you've ever won a battle or a war. I have, I am battle scarred and the one person who went to war with me died on your watch!" Hunter yelled, he was red-faced and extremely angry now and it was frigtening.

But the Shield refused to back down. They couldn't; it just wasn't in their DNA.

"Roman is fighting a war right now and we're standing with him, so don't you tell us about battle scars you arrogant son-of-a-" Seth spat but Roman stopped him before he could say anything else.

"No Seth don't speak for me, I'll say it plain. We did what we did because it was none of our business. Now we'll leave and forget this whole thing ever happened, or we can fight it out like men. Cancer or no cancer, I'll kick your ass so bad you'll be the one buried underwater in need of urgent rescue," Roman said and Dean and Seth smiled at Roman's comments.

"Best promo ever," Shawn said and Hunter shot him a dark look. "What, this is stupid we're wasting so much time with this Shield management, let us deal with it Hunter. They're just kids they'll always make mistakes. We're the adults now so why don't we do what we always do and get to the bottom of this God's way, i.e. with ATM and the DX kids?"

"So can we go?" Seth asked Hunter who was still fuming.

"Damn it Shawn, why do you always have to be the voice of reason? Why can you never let me go off on somebody anymore?" Hunter complained before turning back to the Shield, "You guys can go," he said.

"Phew I thought that was never going to end," Alexa Bliss said heading to the door only to be grabbed by the strong hand of Roman Reigns.

"Stay out of Seth and Sacha's business," Roman warned her and Alexa looked at ATM for help.

"Guys he's hurting me, are you gonna sit there and let this 300 pound man hurt me like this?!" she said to Trish, Amy and Melina.

"Are you going to stay out of Sacha and Seth's business?" Melina asked Alexa.

"I don't know it depends on what's on Netflix," Bliss replied and she turned to Seth. "Sorry I spoiled your first date with the Boss, tell Roman to let go and I won't spoil the next one," she warned Seth with an evil smile.

"Roman let go," Seth said immeidately and the Big Dog listened. "Alexa please, tonight is very special don't do anythng evil to ruin it,"

"What's so special about tonight?" Melina asked Seth who smiled brightly.

"I'll keep it to myself for now but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when I tell everyone," Seth said and Alexa's curiousity peaked. Seth noticed her ears burning, "You said you wouldn't spoil it,"

"No I didn't," she said and Seth turned to Roman.

"Get her!" he said to Roman but Alexa did a Twisted Bliss out of the office window and scaled down to the ground floor like a superhero.

"How cool was that?!" LC said and Cameron nodded.

"How could you not want to date her?" Trish asked Seth who rolled his eyes.

"Where do I begin," he said sarcastically. "She better not do anything again,"

"Don't worry we've got your back, right Dean?" Roman said and then he noticed that Ambrose was gone too. He left when Alexa Bliss was going out the window.

"Where'd Ambrose go?" Seth said and Roman sighed.

"To ruin your special night with Sacha with help from Alexa, he really does not want you to marry the Boss," Roman said and LC, Cameron and Melina gasped along with Hunter.

"You're going to ask Sacha to marry you?!" LC said in shock.

"After tonight, it'll be a miracle if we even have dinner," Seth replied and Roman comforted him as they left DX Inc to talk about what to do about Dean and Bliss. They decided the best plan of action was to get Bayley and Ember involved, what they didn't know was that Dean and Alexa had alreay gotten them involved and not in the way Seth and Roman would have wanted.

"What's with you?" Shawn asked Hunter whose mood had darkened once more.

"He's marrying Sacha Banks and he didn't even ask me for my blessing," Hunter said shaking his head. "I'm so disappointed in Seth Rollins, maybe its time I end things between us once and for all,"

"Hunter you're being ridiculous, don't blame Seth, Dean and Roman for what happened to Chyna. Blame Stephanie she's always to blame when somethinng bad happens to you," Shawn protested and ATM sighed heavily.

"I think I hate Mondays too," Amy said to Trish and Melina wrapped her arms around her sisters in Christ.

"Its good to be back," she said, "Stephanie's still in love with Hunter and someone's been killed by a demon and Hunter's losing it. Just like old times,"

ATM prayed while DX degenerated into an argument about the Shield and Randy, LC and Cameron talked about what they were going to wear to the wedding between the Boss and the Architect.


	13. Multiple Choice Questions

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Thirteen - Multiple Choice Questions

Kansas City, MO,11:45pm

After RAW the locker room poured into the penthouse suite of a luxorious hotel that DX had paid for on the house. That was something that never happened as the talent paid for their own accommodation, so they could stay at whatever hotel they wanted. But tonight was different. News had gotten out that something very special was going to happen tonight so they all had to be together.

Sacha looked out at the moon from outside Seth's hotel room. She'd been in there for a few minutes by herself. Seth had suddenly disappeared and he hadn't come back yet. She yawned, it was late and she wanted to enjoy the rest of their first date together but that was pretty hard when he wasn't in the room with her.

She drank the rest of her mimosa, put down her empty glass and headed towards the door. As she went to open it she heard the sound of many footsteps and they sounded like they were coming in her direction. She opened the door and saw Ember Moon, Bayley, Shayna Bazler, Dakota Kai and Mia Yim from NXT looking back at her with an awkward look. Sacha smiled.  
"Oh my gosh, when did you guys get called up?" she said elated. "Welcome to the A show ladies, we're gonna kill it on the house shows. Come here and give me a hug,"

"No that's okay we gave all our hugs to Bayley," Shayna Bazler said and she muscled passed Sacha into Seth's hotel room.

The other NXT women followed suit and Sacha looked at Bayley and Ember who were now looking at their feet.

Everyone looked so nice, they had all changed out of their wrestling gear and were dolled up.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you guys were all on a date too," Sacha said looking them all up and down.

"Well we are all on a date, in fact we're all here to date the same guy," Bayley said combing her ponytail nervously.

"What are you talking about Bayley?" Sasha asked and suddenly the annoying and fight-inducing presence of Alexa Bliss showed up and she too looked like she was on a date. "What the Hell? Shouldn't you be poisoning apples somewhere?" Sacha said to Bliss.

"Please that is so 20th century," Alexa said flicking her hair out of her face. "Since Bayley couldn't string a sentence together with a rope let me explain what she said. It turns out that you're not the only person interested in being Mrs. Rollins so welcome to the first ever Multiple Choice Date, meaning Seth will have not just one Bossy option, he'll have five,"

Sacha put her hands on her hips annoyed, "Including you?" she said incredulous.

"No he already turned me down," Alexa pouted. "I'm just here to see the look on your face when he gets here. What's taking him so long I told Ambrose to hold him until midnight,"

Sacha rolled her eyes, "You are such a witch," she said pitying Alexa before turning to the other women, "Guys do you really wanna date Seth or are you doing this because Alexa made some sort of empty promise about getting you all a spot on the roster if you agreed to do this?" she said to Shayna, Dakota and Mia.

Dakota and Mia raised their hands in agreement, "She said that if we did this we'd be on RAW in two weeks," Dakota said and Mia nodded.

"She said we could tag and take over the Women's Division," Mia said.

"Well she lied, she's not as powerful as she pretends to be. She's a witch and all she does is fake power because she doesn't really have any," Sacha said. "What about you Shayna Bazler, what did she promise you?"

"She promised me I could take your spot, not just in the ring but in the bedroom too," Shayna said.

Sacha laughed, "You know what I like your confidence, let's have this Multiple Choice Date because I would love to see the look on Seth's face when he gets here," Sacha said before turning back to Alexa Bliss, "But if I were you'd I'd be gone before he gets back here, after all the trouble you've caused since we said we were dating you'd be lucky to make it out of her with a fully functional neck," she threatened Alexa who laughed in her face.

"Oh did I not mention who else was in this Multiple Choice Date?" Alexa said and Sacha frowned. "Nia Jax is on her way up here right now, looks like she might have gotten a head start on all of us,"

"Oh you have crossed the line now Alexa," Sacha said pushing Bliss out of the way trying to get to the elevator and find Seth but Bayley and Ember blocked her. "What the Hell are you guys doing, get out of the way!"

"We're sorry Sacha but you can't leave this room, we all have to stay here and wait for Seth," Bayley said and Sacha frowned at Bayley.

"You're behind this, how could you do this to me Bayley I'm your best friend?!" Sacha said.

"I'm just following orders Boss," Bayley said with a shrug.

"And not from you," Alexa said with a smirk and Sacha wondered who could have convinced Bayley to turn against her. She couldn't believe that Alexa Bliss had managed to ruin yet another date between her and Seth.

The Boss went back to her empty glass outside on the veranda and waited for her date to come back. That's when the fireworks were going to really go off, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Meanwhile in the lobby on the floor below the penthouse suite Nia Jax was sitting on Seth so he couldn't move. She'd been sitting on him for awhile now and Seth was trying to call for help but her butt was squashing his head against whatever Persian rug* was leaving inprints on his right cheekbone.

"Out of all the worst case scenarios this is definitely up there with the top three," Seth said to himself. "How much did Alexa pay you to sit on me Nia?"

"Let's just say all my expenses have been paid via the Bliss card for awhile with no repayments or annual interest included," Nia replied.

Seth tried to get up again but Nia was just too heavy. He'd been trying to get up forever. It was almost midnight and he had to make it back to his hotel room so that he could propose to Sacha. If he didn't get away from Nia he'd lose out because they would be going back on the road for awhile and barely get a chance to see each other. Tonight was the night and no beautiful Samoan was going to change that. Speaking of beautiful Samoans, Roman Reigns finally made it back from signing about a thousand autographs and tried to return Seth's call. When the elevator to the lobby opened up Seth saw Roman looking around and he yelled out.

"Get her off me Roman!"

Nia looked and saw a very angry Samoan looking back at her.  
That was all it took for Nia to get off of Seth and leave the scene before Roman got his hands on her like Braun Strowman.

"Are you alright?" Roman said to Seth helping him to his feet.

"I've got five minutes to make it back to my hotel room so I can propose to Sacha, Nia's been sitting on me forever," Seth said holding his back in pain.

"This is not a fairy tale Seth you don't actually have until midnight to have your date with Sacha," Roman said and Seth hit his head.

"Why did I think this was Cinderella?" he said and Roman looked down and noticed that one of Seth's shoes were missing.

"Maybe because you're short one shoe, come on brother I'll be your carriage. Let's get you to the penthouse suite before Alexa turns Sacha into a pumpkin," Roman said putting Seth on his Big Dog shoulders.

"I'd still marry her," Seth replied.

"I know you would," Roman replied getting in the elevator with Seth on his shoulders only for Dean Ambrose to get in there with them and put the elevator on emergency stop.

"What's going on why aren't we moving?!" Seth panicked and Dean sighed.

"We got a lunatic in here with us," Roman said. "What is it now Dean?"

"You should know that I did something crazy," Dean said and Seth started kicking his feet trying to hit Ambrose with one shoe missing.

"Let's take the stairs," Roman said and Seth nodded and Roman ran with Seth up to the penthouse suite.

Dean ran after them and as they headed to Seth's hotel room,  
Seth pulled out his key card and opened the door to five beautiful women but Sacha was nowhere to be seen.

Roman put him down and started marching around the room.

"Where's the Boss?" he commanded and he scared Alexa Bliss to her feet. "What did you do with Sacha?!"

"SShe's out there but we're all in here right ladies?" Alexa Bliss said to the other wrestlers who bolted on the sight of an angry Roman Reigns. "Hey don't leave, Ambrose said we had to stay here throughout the entire date!" Alexa complained and Roman grabbed her by the neck.

"You ain't going nowhere sweetheart," he said to the Blissfit. "I'm a make sure this date goes off without another hitch, if that means I have to keep my eye on you all night then I will. Now, go get some more glasses. We're gonna have something to celebrate in about five minutes,"

"Yes sir," Alexa Bliss said as Roman marched her over to the phone where she called reception and asked them to bring up some more champagne flutes.

Seth found Sacha sitting outside looking up at the moon. She looked so beautiful it wasn't hard for him to reach into this pocket and pull out the symbol for love since marriage was sponsored by Tiffany.

"Hey Boss," he said and Sacha swooned at the sound of his voice. She turned around and rose to her feet.

"Hey Kingslayer," she said and for some reason she was nervous. "So we're finally alone," she looked back over Seth's shoulder and saw Roman holding Bliss by the neck. "I see you brought security,"

"I never go anywhere without Roman," Seth replied. "Dean I would be happy to leave at home,"

Sacha smiled, "How was life under Nia's butt?" she asked Seth who reached for his neck which was still sore from being sandwiched between Nia and the Persian rug.

"It could have been worse, she could have farted on me," Seth said.

"Nia's a lot of things but that she would never do, not even if Alexa asked her to and I'm sure Alexa did," Sacha said. She took Seth by the hand, "Why don't we sit down and finish the rest of our date?"

"We could do that but I've got a better idea," Seth said and he got down on one knee and held Sacha's extended hand while reaching out and showing her the beautiful pink and diamond ring he'd bought for her. "Why don't we spend the rest of our lives together instead?"

Tears began to stream down Sacha's face and she covered her mouth in shock, "Oh my goodness, you did a reverse John and Nikki. You're asking me to marry you with no-one around!" she said and Seth laughed.

"It could have easily been a Wrestlemania moment if Bliss got her way but she didn't and if you wear this ring, she never will interfere in our lives ever again," Seth said and Sacha frowned at him.

"Do you really believe that?" she asked him.

"No, will you marry me anyway? I think we can live happily ever after if Roman hangs around for the next century," Seth said.

"Yes I'll marry you Seth," Sacha replied and Seth put the engagement ring on her finger and rose to his feet. Sacha lept into his arms while Roman, Dean and Alexa watched from inside the hotel room.

"Can I get some extra tissues please?" Alexa asked reception as they came to the room with extra glasses.

Roman and Dean hugged each other while Alexa put the glasses out. Now it was time to get everyone back into Seth's hotel room and share the good news.

"You better be the best hostess goddess this hotel has ever seen," Roman warned Alexa.

"Yes sir I will shine up these glasses right now," Alexa said.

"If you poison the champagne I'll be attending their wedding after I attend your funeral, you got that Bliss?" Roman said firmly and Alexa rolled her eyes.

"Like I would really try to poison Sacha and Seth, that's so Sleeping Beauty," Alexa Bliss said lauging before whispering something to herself.

"What was that?" Roman asked her as Seth and Sacha came back into the hotel room.

"Nothing I'll get the door," Alexa said and she let everyone in to see the newly engaged couple of Seth Rollins and Sacha Banks.

"Wow I can't believe you guys are really getting married!" Bayley said coming over to hug them both.

"Hold up now you're happy for us? Earlier you were trying to stop our date," Sacha said to Bayley suspiciously.

"Dean said I should do it, he put us all up to it. He said he wanted Seth to have more options before making the worst decision of his life," Bayley explained.

Dean crossed his arms annoyed at Bayley, "So you're not just a hugger, you're an idiot too," he said to her. "The Multiple Choice Date was Alexa's idea I just agreed to it,"

"So are you still unhappy for me?" Seth asked Dean sadly.

"How can I be? Sure I hate Sacha but I love you man, so congratulations to you both," Dean said with a half smile.

"I'll let that slide Ambrose because you're cute," Sacha said pinching Ambrose's cheek. "As for you Bayley, you're on friend probation for a month!"

"What!" Bayley said in shock. "But I was just following orders!"

"Yeah and you betrayed me. I hate it when people turn their backs on me, you can call me the Triple H of the Women's Division," Sacha said and Dean Ambrose shot her a dark glare.

"So now you're comparing yourself to the greatest wrestler of all time? I cannot believe the ego on you, Seth are you sure you want to marry her?" Dean said and Seth rolled his eyes.

"Damn it Ambrose that's enough!" Roman said angrily and Dean quietened down. "Sacha is the best thing that ever happened to Seth and that's all you need to believe. Keep your stupid opinions to yourself, raise a glass - Bliss did you pour out a glass for Ambrose?" Roman said to Alexa who nervously handed a glass of champagne to each member of the Shield with a plastic smile.

"See how shiny those glasses are Roman, I did that especially for you because I know how important this night is to you," Bliss said and Roman smiled.

"She's coming around," Roman said to Seth and Sacha who stuck their tongues out at Alexa.

"Now everyone take a glass and let's toast to the newly engaged couple. May their love blossom and spread to the loveless zombies out there like Alexa Bliss, Charlene MacKenzie and Stephanie McMahon Hardy," Roman said and everyone drank to Sacha and Seth before conversation turned back to Stephanie and Hunter.

"So are they getting back together?" Ember asked the Shield referring to Hunter and Stephanie.

"No he's still married to Chyna," Sacha explained to the newest NXT call up.

"But I thought she passed away," Ember asked confused.

"She did but she came back to life," Bayley added.

"Hey get away from us, you're on probabtion," Sacha warned Bayley.

"She came back to life!" Ember said shocked as Bayley went away sadly. "So where is she?"

"In the Hudson River," Sacha replied. "ATM and the DX kids are gonna get her out and then she'll be back with Hunter where she's supposed to be,"

"Wow that is so exciting, I'm so glad I got called up you guys have got so much drama going on around you," Ember said.

"Like the drama you caused with Dean and Bayley and the other NXT call ups?" Sacha said unimpressed and Ember felt bad, "Don't worry you're new you'll get used to how things work around here. Just remember to pick your battles more carefully,"

"I'm with you Sacha, I think you and Seth make and awesome couple, I don't know why Dean and Alexa hate you so much. I can see why MacKenzie does but she's a lying, nasty, gold-digging whore so who cares what she thinks," Ember said. "To think Seth nearly slept with her in Boston,"

"What?!" Sacha screamed and everyone turned to face her including Seth.

"What's up love of my life?" he said coming over to Sacha who was glowing with rage.

"You nearly slept with Charlene MacKenzie in Boston?!" she asked Seth outraged and Seth looked over at Ember Moom while Dean Ambrose caressed the war goddess lovingly.

"Let me guess, Blanc Soleil," Roman said to Dean who kissed Ember on the side of her head.

"Works everytime," Dean said as Sacha lit up the hotel room and went off on her fiance.

"Why are you so mad, she was my girlfriend before you? Is it so hard to believe that she would want to sleep with me?" Seth asked confused.

"That's not what Ember said, she said you nearly slept with her in Boston where we were supposed to have our first date. What the Hell happened between then and now to change your mind about sleeping with her?" Sacha asked furiously.

"I-I, God Ambrose I hate you so much," Seth said and Dean couldn't have been happier.

"I bet she was wearing some cheap-ass lingerie and gave you some long speech about how nobody could make love better than her and that if you turned her down you'd regret it," Sacha said angrily.

"Wow were you there cause that was really accurate," Seth said and Sacha scowled at him.

"Just tell me one thing, why did you change your mind Seth? Why didn't you sleep with her that night in Boston?" Sacha said and Seth realised that now was the time either Dean was going to be right about Sacha or he was going to be right about Sacha.

"Should I tell her?" Seth asked Roman who knew what he was referring to and the Big Dog took another glass of champagne. This whole thing was making him nervous and Alexa Bliss was happy to get him drunk.

"Can we have some more champagne please?" she said calling reception again. This night could not have gone better for the goddess.

"Seth tell me the reason don't just leave me standing here like a moron," Sacha said. "Why did you turn MacKenzie down?"

Seth took a deep breath and decided to be honest with the Boss, maybe that way things could keep moving in the right direction between them. He didn't wanna go back to the beginning and start all over again, even if it hurt like Hell to say what he was about to say.

"The reason why I turned Mac down is because she laughed at me when I told her, or when she found out that, if I slept with her it would be my first time," Seth said and Alexa Bliss dropped her champagne glass which fell to the carpet with everyone else's jaws.

"It would be your first time what?" Sacha asked confused.

"It would be my first time sleeping with somebody. I'm a virgin Sacha," Seth said and Sacha frowned at him.

"Yeah I know, Seth you're my best friend I know how you feel about your body. You wouldn't share it with just anyone, what did you think I would laugh at you or something?" Sacha said and Seth nodded. "What kind of an evil witch do you think I am? Seth I would never do that, I love you,"

The sound of Alexa Bliss laughing hysterically pierced the otherwise touching moment and Roman picked her up off of the carpet and held her out over the veranda where she continued to cackle like a witch.

"I love you too Sacha," Seth said and they kissed passionately in front of everyone, most of whom were crying at the tender moment they all just witnessed. That was until a tweet went out that Seth Rollins was a virgin started to flash up on all their phones.

"How did she do that, her feet are dangling over the veranda?" Dakota Kai said wondering how Alexa could tweet while fearing for her life.

"Roman couldn't even stop her from sending evil tweets, they don't call her the goddess for nothing," Mia Yim said. "I sure would have loved to be called up to RAW to tag with her,"

"Aw nuts, I was hoping Sacha would..." Dean Ambrose started but he stopped himself before he could finish. He realised that he didn't want Sacha and Seth to break up anymore. If anyone laughed at him after he told them he was a virgin he'd ball up like a pregnancy ball. Sacha was totally cool about it and what more could Seth want in a wife than that?

"Welcome to the family Banks," Ambrose said hugging Sacha.

"Finally you show me some love, what made you come around?" Sacha asked Ambrose.

"What is that smell?" Ambrose asked getting a whiff of the purfum Sacha Banks was wearing. "Is that Black Orchid?"

"Sssh, I'm saving it for later," she whisphered to Ambrose. "I'm going to ask Seth to make love to me tonight,"

Ambrose gasped, he couldn't believe it. "But you guys just got engaged, aren't you going to wait until you're officially husband and wife?"

"After what happened with Mac in Boston I can't afford to wait. The only reason he didn't sleep with her was because of me, that means that I have to sleep with him now,"Sacha said and Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No Sacha I think you missed the point, Seth will wait for you. Now that you guys are getting married there's no need to rush it," Ambrose said and Sacha saw the softer side of him come out suddenly. Ambrose was just concerned that after waiting so long Seth's first time was going to be as bad as Alexa Bliss was taking bets on it being with a twitter poll right now. "Don't worry Sacha, Seth's not going anywhere,"

"Dean look around you, you see all these beautiful women? One second after I turn my back they'll all be going after him. He might love me but he's human and he's already waited this long, I don't know how much longer he'll be able to wait. I have to give it to him tonight," she said panicking.

"Well then you guys have to get married tonight and that's crazy. You technically haven't even had a real date yet. Sacha I'm telling you Seth will not sleep with anyone but you for the rest of your life," Ambrose said. "If you wait until you get married you can get that in writing, with a Reverend and several witnesses wearing a big white dress and a happy smile on your face. If you sleep with him before then, the best you're gonna get is a roll over and breakfast in bed,"

"I had one of those last week, I miss my wife I better give her a call," Roman said overhearing Dean and Sacha's conversation. He still had Alexa by the neck but he couldn't get her phone out of her hands. "Its like its glued to her fingers," he explained but no further explanation woud be necessary after Seth stomped the phone in two.

"Tweet that," Seth said.

"You know I don't make a habit of wishing bad things to happen to people but I hope your first night with Sacha is the worst night of your life," Alexa said to Seth venomously and Sacha went for Alexa's neck but it was already being held by Roman Reigns.

"Calm down Sacha, I will not be disappointed will I?" Seth said to Sacha and he embraced her lovingly.

"Disappointed?" Sacha said nervously as Seth caressed her body amorously.

Dean could see the panic in the Boss' eyes and decided then and there that they were gonna need help, help from the one person or persons that had absolutely no problem in the love department.

He called the Anointed Couple, Shawn and Amy.


	14. Black Orchid

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Fourteen - Black Orchid

Kansas City, MO

"Come on guys pick up," Dean Ambrose said as Shawn's cell phone rang.  
He was eager not to have Seth end up in couselling while he was the only member of the Shield who believed that Seth and Sacha as a couple was a bad idea. He had no idea it would be because of this. In fact he thought it would be because of the opposite of this. Now Sacha could end up ruining the best thing to happen to Seth outside of Roman being healed from cancer.

"Hello?" said the gruff voice of Triple H.

"Hey Hunter I need to talk to Shawn or Amy," Dean Ambrose said.

"They're out on a date, can I get them to call you back?" Hunter asked and Ambrose sighed.

"This can't wait, I need to know where they are," Dean said.

"Dean its almost 1 o'clock in the morning I can't tell you where they are," Hunter said. "Is it something I can help you with?"

"Absolutely not," Dean said and he hung up before Hunter could answer. The Cerebral Assassin looked at his silent phone in disdain. He couldn't believe the attitude he was getting from the Shield now. It was like he was Byron Saxton or something.

"Now I'm mad," Hunter said and he found his way up to the penthouse suite where Seth and Sacha were celebrating their engagement.

"Here we go," Trish said to Randy and the Ortons followed him knowing what he was about to do, "You guys come with us, you might need to say something to stop your father from making things even worse for Seth Rollins tonight," Trish said to LC and Cameron who were talking to Aurora and Angelo on their phone.

"Yeah I can't believe it either, he's so hot!" LC said and Cameron took her phone away.

"Stop talking about Seth being a virgin, we were both virgins before we got married, what's the big deal?" Cameron said to his wife.

"Give me my phone back, I need to vote on that twitter poll," LC said and Cameron pocketed the phone and admonished his wife before they followed the Ortons up to the penthouse suite.

Dean Ambrose met them at the elevator.

"The engagement party's been moved," he told them. "I had to make sure Hunter didn't get in the room and upset Seth,"

"Wow you're smart," Randy said.

"And sexy," Dean added and LC and Cameron exchanged bemused glances at Ambrose's vanity. "Speaking of sexy, where's your father HBK? I need to ask him to do me a solid favor before he goes to bed tonight,"

"What's that?" Cameron asked Ambrose.

"I need him to call Seth and tell him to not under any circumstances sleep with Sacha Banks tonight," Ambrose said.

In the hotel basement:

"You absolutely have to sleep with Seth tonight," said Hunter who had managed to get directions to the engagement party from Alexa Bliss.

Sacha nodded, "I know I have to give it to him before he gets it from someone else. I have to be his first Hunter," she explained. "Even if it means being out of God's will,"

"God's will? You think God cares if you and Seth wait until you get married? I didn't wait and look at me, I'm the freaking Cerebral Assassin, the greatest wrestler who ever lived. If you wanna be like me Sacha, you know what they say, moneky see, monkey do,"

"Are you calling me a monkey?" Sacha asked confused.

"No I'm saying you should copy me, like a monkey," Hunter said.

"So are you saying you're a monkey?" Sacha asked Hunter.

"Nobody's a monkey Sacha, I mean you should follow the same path as me to be the greatest wrestler of all time," Hunter said and Sacha nodded.

"Yes that's what I want. I don't want Seth to lose his virginity to Nia Jax, or Dakota Kai or Shayna Bazler. He's going to bed with the Boss tonight," Sacha said.

"Can you send me a copy of it?" Hunter asked.

"No," Sacha replied.

"Let me know how it goes alright? I'm here for you Banks," Hunter said hugging the Boss much to Bayley's jealousy.

"Damn too late," Dean Ambrose said seeing Hunter talking to Sacha "Cameron tell your father to call Seth now!" he said and he ran to Seth before Hunter could get to him.

"Hey man where have you been? Did you invite Hunter to my engagement party?" Seth asked Ambrose.

"No, what are you crazy? He came on his own, check your phone I think its ringing," Dean Ambrose said and Seth reached into his pocket.

"Oh I turned my phone off, I was tired of all those tweets from Alexa blowing up my phone," he said and Ambrose reached into Seth's pocket and turned the phone on.

"Come on start up damn Android," Dean said and Seth laughed at him.

"What is so important that I have to check my phone?" Seth asked as Dean screamed at his cell phone which was taking awhile to turn on. There were a lot of messages on it but the one from HBK is the one that Dean was interested in. Of course because of the announcement of his engagement to Sacha his phone was loaded and running low on storage, making it almost impossible for any new messages to get through.

"Shawn what's going on where's the message?!" Ambrose said and suddenly HBK showed up with Amy and took Seth's hand. Before Ambrose could blink Seth had been Transcended back to Amy and Shawn's room with Melina and John Morrison.

Sacha came over to Dean, "Hey I need Seth, I think its time we end this party and have our own private party if you know what I mean," Sacha said to Ambrose.

"You know I think I saw him talking to Shawn and Amy," Dean replied.

"Shawn and Amy aren't here," Sacha said.

"Hey I just saw Shawn and Amy where did they go?" Roman said holding Alexa by the neck much to Hunter's chagrin.

"Hey let go of the goddess Roman," Hunter said.

"Do you know how much trouble she's caused for Seth and Sacha today?" Roman said.

"No I wouldn't know Roman because I wasn't invited," Hunter said and he left leaving Roman and Dean with a bad feeling.

"Hey Hunter wait I need to find Seth can you help me find him?" Sacha said leaving with Hunter and Ambrose smiled.

"What are you smiling at? We gotta find Seth before Hunter does," Roman said.

"Relax buddy, grab Alexa's neck and let's enjoy the rest of the party," Ambrose said finding Ember Moon who couldn't be happier to dance with him while Roman took Alexa with him to find Seth.

"I bet this is the longest you've held a woman in awhile," Alexa said.

"Shut up Bliss," Roman replied hoping to find Seth before Hunter did.


	15. The Rescuers

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Fifteen - The Rescuers

The Next day there was more quiet in Kansas City but more noise on the flight back from there. While DX headed back to Boston, the rest of the roster headed back on the road with much to talk about. Seth and Sacha's engagement party was all the rage and it was trending number 1 online which was crazy beause it was supposed to be the wrestlers who only knew about it. But thanks to Alexa Bliss the whole world knew that not only were Sacha and Seth enggaed but Seth was waiting for the right woman this whole time. Unfortunately for Sacha this meant that there was now a race to see who could take Seth's virginity first and just as the Boss predicted, there was a lot of interest in winning that competition. Seth had a flood of messages from people who made their case for being in first and suggesting why Sacha was not the one for him. It was like he was reading resumes but these women were determined and Alexa Bliss wasn't helping. She was promising money, promotion opportunities, even scholarships to schools. She even offered to pay the medical bills of someone who had a sick relative, all to get Seth and Sacha to have the worst engagement ever.

"Have you read some of these messages? They're insane," Amy said seeing the retweets from Seth's twitter account. "This woman actually is planning to miss her son's wedding so she can be with Seth,"

Shawn was not impressed, of course the Game thought it was hilarious.

"Have you seen some of these women? This one has been modelling for Victoria Secret for five years and she loves animals," Hunter said eating with Amy and Shawn over breakfast.

"Wow Seth really has got to be hating this," Shawn said and Hunter nodded with a smile.

"I know," he said.

"Why does that make you smile?" Shawn asked him annoyed. "This is supposed to be a special time in the kids's life and Alexa Bliss is totally spoiling it for him,"

"If it was so special he would have made me a part of it, obviously I mean nothing to him so I'm glad Alexa is waging such a great campaign against his precious engagement to Sacha. I do feel bad for the Boss though," Hunter said.

"At last an ounce of sympathy," Shawn said.

"Yeah, she can do so much better than Seth. Check out the photo she retweeted of this MBA who used to play in the NFL, plus he's black," Hunter said.

"What does that mean?" Shawn said annoyed. "Why does the colour or the dude's skin make a difference?"

"It's like being gay, you can try to be straight for awhile but eventually you wanna be with your own kind," Hunter said and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"So now Sacha's gay?" Amy said confused. "I don't understand your analogy Hunter, if she was gay why would she be so desperate to make love to Seth Rollins tonight. To prove that she's not gay?"

"I never said Sacha was gay," Hunter said.

"Then what are you talking about?" Amy said pulling the muffin top off of her blueberry muffin.

"I hate it when you do that," Hunter said and he ate the stump of Amy's muffin.

"I'm sure Seth will be doing a lot of that tonight if we don't get him away from Sacha for awhile," Shawn said and Hunter laughed.

"It will be the first muffin he's ever eaten," Hunter said knowing what Shawn meant. "It'll be delicious,"

"Okay that's enough Hunter this is serious, Dean told me that Sacha is scared of disappointing Seth but at the same-time she wants to be his first," Shawn said.

"Can you blame her? Look at these tweets they're insane. I've never seen so much interest in one man outside of you and Roman Reigns," Amy said and Hunter frowned.

"I'll have you know I have women fight over me all the time, which reminds me, shouldn't we be trying to rescue Joanie from the witch of the Hudson River right now instead of eating each other's muffins?" Hunter said and the Anointed Couple shrugged.

"We got time," Amy replied eating another muffin top.

"I can't believe it, I'm going to have my wife back today!" Hunter said.

"Rescuing Joanie is the least out of all the things we got going on right now. I'm still worried that Trish isn't telling me something," Amy said as Hunter tried to grab the muffin stump out of her hand again.

"I think she's just a caring mom like you and she wants to make sure Remi an RJ don't get ahead of themselves. I think they'll be fine, with Brain Helmsley and the rest of our family constantly in their faces, there's no way they'd do anything stupid," Shawn said eating his salmon and cream cheese bagel.

"Why are you eating cheese Shawn, it makes you fart," Hunter complained and he ate the rest of Shawn's bagel much to the Heartbreeak Kid's chagrin.

"As I was saying Remi and RJ are more focussed on being great students plus they fear God too much to make any stupid moves," Shawn said.

"You know your daughter's hot right? She looks like a younger Eva Marie, when are you going to get her to work for us?" Hunter said and Shawn smiled.

"Yes she is very beautiful but so is LC and she waited, she didn't sleep with Cameron until they were married," Shawn said and Hunter smiled.

"Yes my daughter is more beautufil than yours," Hunter said and Shawn frowned.

"Okay let's not get carried away, LC's goregous but my daughter could turn heads in a mausoleum," Shawn said.

"And my daughter could bring Jesus back from the dead," Hunter countered.

"Jesus is alive Hunter," Amy said.

"And I bet my daughter makes sure he stays that way," Hunter said.

"What does that even mean? Why would you even say that? Out of all the people in the world to pick on you pick Jesus Christ my Lord and Saviour. You're talking so much crap this morning did you even get any sleep last night?" Shawn said and Hunter shook his head that he didn't.

"I was up all night talking to Sacha and telling her how proud I was of her and that she was under no obligation to get married to Seth if she didn't want to," Hunter said.

"I can't believe you said that to her," Amy said shaking her head.

"Don't threaten me Amy," Hunter said and Amy shook her butter knife at him. "If you'd seen her you'd understand why I said that. She was a nervous wreck and if that's the effect Seth has on the Boss, I don't want her anywhere near him,"

"Seth hasn't put any pressure on her he is more than willing to wait until they get married," Amy said.

"But look at all the pressure that's being put on him? Are you telling me that these photos, messages and out of nowhere appearances from women aren't going to affect him? If Seth was that close to sleeping with Mac in Boston, how desperate must he be to sleep with Sacha after all this interest in his virginity being taken?" Hunter said. "He's only human Amy and its only a matter of time before he gives into temptation,"

"Have you no faith in God at all?" Shawn said. "There's nothing more powerful than the word "No", all Seth has to do is say no to every woman that propositions him and he'll be fine. Amy and I have been praying for God to keep Seth's virtue,"

"What does that mean Shawn?" Hunter said.

"It means we've asked God to keep Seth pure until he marries Sacha," Shawn said.

"But Seth doesn't believe in God, why would he listen to what Jesus has to say?" Hunter said.

Amy and Shawn shrugged, "He doesn't have to listen but our Lord can be pretty convincing when he wants to be and I think Seth has enough motivation to give Jesus a little say in his love life," Shawn said.

"You guys need glasses, Seth will not be your next conversion. Not everyone needs Jesus the way that you guys do," Hunter said.

"I disagree, we all need Jesus it just takes some of us awhilie to realise that," Shawn said. "I believe that Jesus is all Seth needs right now, even more than Sacha,"

"Like I said you two both need glasses, now if you're done boring me with your morning sermon over breakfast, I'd like to get my wife out of the Hudson River now please," Hunter said and Shawn and Amy got up.

"Are you ready?" Shawn asked Amy who nodded.

"Yup, Trish, Melina and me have been praying for this and we finally got the go-ahead from God that we can go after this witch," Amy said. "Chyna will be back Hunter's arms tonight,"

"And Sacha will be in Seth's bed before the end of the week," Hunter said and Amy pelted the Game with left over muffin stumps until he ran into the bathroom.

"They'll be in bed alright but not with each other," Shawn said knowing that sleeping with each other was going to be harder than getting into Harvard for the Boss and the Architect now that Jesus was on the case.


	16. The H Stands for Harvard

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Sixteen - The H stands for Harvard

Harvard Campus, Massecheusetts Hall, Cambridge, Boston, 10am

The next day Hayworth was preparing for his exam.  
It had been a few months since he started at Harvard and he wss being tested on his first module. It was biochemistry and he was more than happy to take it. Mostly because he loved it but also because Kendrick Alexander was his lecturer.  
Having her around made science more practice than theory as something chemical always happened to him every time she was around.

So it was more than shoking when he entered the exam hall to see his father Hunter trying to talk the lecturer out of starting the exam.

"I'm sorry Mr. Helmsley but the exam is about to start I can't re-schedule it," Kendrick Alexander explained.

"But Ms Alexander this is really important, I need my son right now," Hunter protested.

"Mr. Helmsley what could be so important that your son has to have his exam re-scheduled?" Ms. Alexander asked.

"His mother, she's back from the dead and I want Hayworth to see her," Hunter replied and Hayworth stood up.

"I'm sorry Mr. Helmsley, I know the loss of your wife has been traumatic for you but this is no time for this. Your son has a very important exam, as do all of these other students. Now if you're through with your daily prank I'd ask that you now leave the lecture hall so we can start," Ms. Alexander said.

"Kendrick wait," Hayworth said coming over to his girlfriend.  
He took her by the hand and smiled at her and Hunter watched amazed as his 19 year old son charmed the PHD off of his lecturer. "Please re-schedule, I'll take the exam another time.  
I gotta see my mom,"

"You're not serious?" Kendrick said in disbelief. "Hayworth we've talked about this, your father is in denial and if you support his delusion it'll be harder for you all to accept the fact that your mother is no longer here,"

"Oh but she is and we're gonna see her right now, let's go son," Hunter said and Hayworth left with his father.

"Please Kendrick, you can re-schedule it. You have the power, not to mention you're hot," Hayworth said and Kendrick Alexander blushed.

"What the Hell is going on, can we start now?" one of the students said irritated. "I've been studying all night for this exam,"

"I'm afraid this exam has to be re-scheduled due to an emergency with one of our students. Take the time to study even harder and I'll see you all back here next week," Kendrick said and while most of the students cheered, a few were not happy.

"So Hayworth gets special treatment while the rest of us just get ignored. Must be nice for your father to be rich and famous," one of the students complained.

"Hayworth doesn't need any favours, he could have sat this exam with a migraine headache and still passed it with flying colours. If I were you I'd make the most of this extra time I'm giving you. Now get out of my lecturer hall," Kendrick said to the student.

As the lecture hall emptied something stirred in Kendrick.  
She had spoken to the Dean about Hayworth and whether or not his father's obsession over his wife's death would adversely affect his time at Harvard. She was genuinely concerned about him, being a woman of faith herself she only wanted to encourage him to accept that Joanie Helmsley had passed. However, his father seemed more convinced than ever that Joanie was alive and she just had to see what was driving him to be so sure of it.

"Hayworth wait up!" she cried as she ran after her boyfriend and his father who smiled watching her come, proud that his son had landed his lecturer only months into starting at Harvard.

The Dean however was less than supportive, after receiving a number of complaints from other students, some more jealous than offended that Kendrick had re-scheduled a very important exam to be with her boyfriend, it was unlikely that she would be part of the teaching staff on her return.

The Hudson River, New York, Midday

While the majority of New York was at lunch or making lunch plans, ATM, the DX family and Kendrick Alexander were all gathered around the Hudson River waiting for unfairly departed family member to return to them. Trish, Amy and Melina were in full prayer and they were not even flesh right now as the Holy Spirit filled them and gave them the strength they needed to bring Joanie back from the dead. The angelic trio had to wait because of the power of evil being so strong after Joanie was killed that it was impossible for her to come back sooner.  
But now they had a window and they were not going to lose it.

"In the name of Jesus, Joanie Laurer Helmsley, return to life!" they said in unison and Hunter, Hayworth and LC watched as the water turned from blue to clear.

Kendrick Alexander gasped with joy as the water suddenly spiralled up, pushing whatever was underneath to the surface and within seconds the water thrust Joanie out and into the waiting arms of her husband Triple H.

"Welcome back Jo," Hunter said who was bone dry after being in the Hudson for months. "You look as beautiful as the last time I saw you,"

"Seaweed does great things for the skin," Joanie replied and she kissed Hunter passionately while LC and Hayworth threw their arms around her with tears in their eyes.

Everyone was crying with tears of joy and ATM fell to their needs in gratitude to the Lord.

"Thank you Jesus for bringing her back to us," Amy said tearfully and Shawn joined her while Randy joined Trish and John Morrison joined Melina in thanking God for the second miracle that had taken place on the Hudson.

What was interesting was that it all happened so quickly that no-one around even noticed the miracle that just happened and as the Hudson River returnd to its normal colour things looked as normal as ever.

For Kendrick Alexander however nothing would ever be the same again. She wondered how she was supposed to teach science after seeing a blatant indisputable miracle right before her very eyes.

"My God this is the most awesome thing I've ever seen," she said as Joanie hugged her DX family before noticing Kendrick staring at her.

"Who's this muffin basket?" she asked Hunter pointing at the Harvard lecturer.

"This is our son's girlfriend, Kendrick Alexander. She teaches science at Harvard," Hunter explained. "She had an exam re-scheduled just so Hayworth could come here and see you come back to life,"

"That's my boy, she's smart, she's beautiful and probably on the unemploymennt line now. Welcome to the family Kendrick Alexander," Joanie said extending her hand to the science teacher who studied Joanie carefully as she shook the First Lady of DX's hand.

"Your husband told me that you've been underwater for months but your skin is dry and your hair looks like you just came out of a salon. To think I could have missed this," Kendrick said before hugging Hayworth. "From now on the H on my alumni sweater stands for Helmsley, your family is awesome!"

"At a girl Kendrick, now let's go find you a job nearby. I think there's a position at this hot dog stand, do you think you could sell hot dogs for awhile until you get another job as good as the one you just lost at Harvard?" Hunter said and Trish frowned.

"Kendrick has not lost her job at Harvard, she's officially everyone's favourite lecturer now because she gave everyone more time to study. A petition's already gone out to make sure she keeps her job, all she has to do is make nice to the Dean and everything will be sweet," Trish said and Hunter frowned.

"But who's gonna help this guy sell hot dogs? Think about how much damage we're doing by taking a Harvard grad out of the hot dog industry," Hunter said and Kendrick laughed while Shawn hit his head.

"Okay let's go before Hunter convinces one of us to work at this hot dog stand full-time," Shawn said.

"I like the idea, we could call them Miracle Dogs because of the miracle that just happened," Melina said and John Morrison frowned at her.

"You know you're Queen of Egypt right?" he reminded his wife.

Kendrick gasped, "Wow your family is amazing, I'm so glad we're dating. I don't have any people like this in my family, all we know is science but we do believe in Jesus Christ," she said.

"Well then you're gonna fit right in with my family Kendrick," Hayworth said.

Trish suddenly poked Amy and the Anointed One protested.

"What's your problem Truth Stratus?" she said.

"Ask Hayworth for his Harvard sweater," Trish said and Amy remembered the conversation Trish and Melina had with her on their way to New York.

"Hayworth can I borrow your Harvard sweater a minute?" Amy asked the Helmsley Prince.

"Sure here you go," Hayworth said pulling off his red and white sweater with the giant H on the front.

"Thanks," Amy said and ATM prayed over the sweater.

"That doesn't mean you're part of Harvard you know," Hunter said. "What you think you can just take my son's sweater and suddenly be Harvard material? I tried that Amy and it doesn't work,"

"That's not what I was thinking," Amy replied as Melina put the sweater on.

"What are you guys doing with my son's Harvard sweater?" Joanie asked ATM.

"Being obedient," Trish replied and Hayworth frowned.

"Can I have my sweater back?" he said rubbing his now bare arms.

"You can ask Kendrick to keep you warm, we're gonna keep the sweater for awhile if you don't mind," Trish replied.

"But I do mind I'm cold," Hayworth protested and Kendrick rubbed his arms up and down and suddenly he didn't feel so cold anymore.

Hunter did the same thing to Joanie but she wasn't cold at all, it was like she had just come out of Heaven everything about her was perfect.

"Stephanie," Joanie said suddenly and everyone stopped walking and looked at her.

"Joanie are you okay?" Shawn asked her. "Why did you just say Stephanie?"

"She tried to kill me Shawn that's why," she replied before turning to Hunter, "She's still in love with you,"

"No she's not that was just a witch possessing Stephanie's body. She's not in love with me Joanie and she definitely didn't try to kill you. In fact Jeff and Steph own a hotel in the city, why don't we go and see them now and she can tell you in person how she feels now that you're back from the dead," Hunter said and Trish and Randy exchanged weary glances.

"Why don't we leave it for another time Hunter? I'm sure your wife would love to spend time with her family after being seperated from you for so long," Trish said and everyone nodded.

"Okay but we will see Stephanie and get this whole thing straightened out okay babe?" Hunter said to Joanie who nodded.

"I love you," she said to Hunter who kissed her lovingly as they all got into the DX Machine and headed back to the airport.

As far as Trish and Randy were concerned they couldn't get out of New York fast enough. If Hunter knew how Stephanie really felt about Joanie being back ATM wouldn't be able to get him to leave.

That was tomorrow's trouble, today ATM had an assignment to make sure that Seth and Sacha didn't sleep with each other before they got married and they had to get back to Boston urgently.

Harvard, Cambridge, MA

When they got back to Harvard, Melina gave Hayworth back his sweater which he put on his bed before heading out with his parents to celebrate Joanie's return. For some reason he left his dorm room open and Sacha and Seth snuck into it hoping that Hayworth would be in there.

"Where is he? I thought they'd all be back from New York by now," Sacha said and Seth looked around.

"Look at all this science stuff, Hunter's kid sure is smart," Seth. "Plus I heard he's dating his science teacher, what a stud,"

"Yeah he's a Helmsley alright," Sacha said shivering and Seth noticed she was cold.

"Hey take my sweater," he said pulling off his black sweater.

"No then you'd be cold," Sacha said and Seth frowned.

"Sacha take my sweater I don't care if I'm cold I'm not gonna let my fiance catch a cold on our first uninterrupted date since we got together," Seth replied and Sacha turned him down.

"You're right about that, I think this is the first time we haven't been interrupted in days," Sacha said and she sat on Hayworth's bed. "We're all by ourselves, imagine what we could do with no-one else around?"

Seth's imagination started to race, "What do you mean?" he said as Sacha leaned back on Hayworth's bed.

"I mean, why don't we celebrate Joanie and Hunter's love by making love?" she said and the blood rushed to Seth's face.

"Really?" he said admiring Sacha's beauty as she stretched out on Hayworth's well made bed. "I'm okay to just hold hands if you want, I don't want you to feel pressure or anything,"

"I don't want to hold hands, do you?" Sacha asked and Seth gulped as Sacha sneezed.

"Okay you're wearing my sweater," Seth insisted coming over to her.

"No I got this one right here," she said pulling on Hayworth's Harvard sweater. "Do you think you could make love to me with this big sweater on?"

Seth shook his head that he could, "Yes," he replied, however the newly engaged couple wouldn't have the chance to find out.

As Seth pulled off his black sweater Sacha fell into a deep sleep. Moments later Seth couldn't get her to wake up and he panicked. "What the Hell, Sacha wake up!" he cried shaking her earnestly but she wouldn't wake up. "Oh my God why is that happening? Are we ever going to have a real date?!"

Seth ran out to get help hoping ATM were nearby. When he returned with the angelic trio Sacha was wide awake and sitting on Hayworth's bed with her reading glasses on and a large book on her lap.

"She's fine Seth she's not sleeping," Trish said.

"But she was in a deep sleep I couldn't get her to wake up!" Seth said and he sat next to Sacha. "Baby are you okay?"

Sacha looked up at Seth over her glasses with a smile, "Did you know that hummingbirds keep themselves from starving in the winter by using something called tarpor?" she asked Seth who frowned at her.

"Actually yes Sacha I did know that but birds are the last thing on my mind right now. Do you remember what we were talking about before you fell asleep?" Seth whisphered to Sacha gently.

"No was it extraordinary?" she asked Seth who rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

"Actually I think it will be," he said implicitly. "You know what I'm talking about right?"

"No Seth Rollins I don't have a clue you're being very vague its as if you're trying to convince me to do something bad," Sacha said. "Are you planning to rob a bank or something?"

"No Sacha I think that sleep must have done something to your memory," Seth said pulling his black sweater back on while ATM watched amused.

They knew exactly what happened to Sacha.

"It worked," Melina said to Trish and Amy who nodded.

"Sacha has no interest in making love to Seth," Amy said.

"And as long as she keeps that sweater on it'll stay that way until they get married," Trish said.

"Yup, the H now stands for Holy," Melina said with a smile.

"Or Hands Off," Trish added and Seth frowned at the angelic trio.

"I think there's something wrong with Sacha, before she fell asleep we were about to-"

"About to what?" Amy said with a warning look and Seth gulped.

"Nevermind, I'm sure she'll be back to normal soon, thanks guys you can leave now," Seth said to ATM.

"Shouldn't you be leaving? This is Hayworth's room you guys shouldn't even be in here," Trish said.

"Come with us we're having a small gathering to celebrate Joanie's return from the dead," Amy said to Seth.

"That's awesome I'm really glad Joanie's back but tonight's kind of special and I really think I should stay with Sacha," Seth said hoping that Sacha would return to her sexy self shortly.

"Seth, are you expecting something let's say, extraordinary to happen between you and Sacha tonight?" Amy asked Seth who blushed.

"How did you know?" Seth said thinking Amy understood what he was getting so excited about.

"Because it happened to me with Shawn, only we were married and on our honeymoon. Are you really going to let your virginity go in a Harvard dorm?" Amy said and Seth sighed.

"Its like I'm on fire all the time now, I can't wait one minute longer. You have no idea how this feels you've been sleeping with guys since you were in high school," Seth said and Amy nodded.

"So you can trust me when I say its better to wait until the right time can't you? Trust me Rollins that night is not tonight. Now get your beautiful Boss and come with us and cancel those plans of yours," Amy said and Seth folded his arms angrily. He couldn't understand what changed in Sacha but he was sure it had something to do with that Harvard sweater.

"Let's go Sacha, we're never gonna have our first date so there's no point in even being in here right now," Seth said pulling Sacha off the bed.

"Is there a dress code where we're going?" Sacha asked ATM.

"No," the angelic trio said at the same-time making sure Sacha didn't feel the need to change out of the sweater. It was the only thing keeping Seth's hands off of her.

"Let's go see Joanie," Seth said embracing his fiance. He kissed her on the head and threw the book she was ready back on the bed. "At least I was able to get rid of the book, now all's I gotta do is get rid of that sweater then we can resume our love-making plans,"

Sacha frowned straightening her reading glasses which she was still wearing.

"We're you seriously planning to make love to me in a college dormitory?" Sacha asked Seth. "You must be crazy,"

"No I am not crazy I'm -" Seth protested but judging from the looks of the angelic trio he didn't have a single angel in his corner. "I gotta find the Shield, this is an emergency. I am not leaving Boston with my virginity," he said to himself.

"I love this sweater," Sacha said hugging herself much to Seth's chagrin.

"Why don't you hug me instead?" he asked Sacha and she gave him a church hug, which meant there was nothing behind it except good manners. "What the Hell was that?"

"You asked for a hug and I gave you one, is there some confusion or were you expecting something a little more amorous?" Sacha asked Seth who's head was pounding.

"Sacha do you even know what that word means? Talk in your normal voice," Seth said.

"This is my normal voice, what am I some sort of mis-educated ratchet? This is Harvard Mr. Rollins might I suggest your conduct yourself with a little more class," Sacha said and ATM laughed loving the new Sacha.

She was the Boss with a pedigree and just like Harvard itself, Seth was going to have a hard time getting into her without hard work and a little help from his friends.


	17. Whatever Happened to Sacha Banks?

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Seventeen - Whatever Happened to Sacha Banks?

The Enigmatic Hotel, New York City, New York

The next day in New York City, the Shield met at the Engimatic Hotel, New York where Hunter insisted on everyone gathering to celebrate Joanie's return from the dead and to meet with Stephanie McMahon Hardy.

Doing their best to avoid all things Helmsley, the Shield kept a low profile and kept the conversation about Hunter and the women in his life to a minimum. They were only concerned with the woman in Seth's life who was giving the Architect reason to go back to his Shield clubhouse and draw up some new plans.

"I couldn't understand a word she was saying. All of a sudden she's talking about hummingbirds and I can't get her back in the mood to make love," Seth said explaining to Roman and Dean what happened last night in Boston.

Dean Ambrose shook his head pitifully. "You couldn't even get a girl that was already into you to take off her sweater," he said and he turned to Roman, "Our brother needs help,"

"He sure does, I mean dude, you had the room all to yourself, what happened?" Roman asked Seth surprised by what he was hearing. "This should have been as easy as getting Alexa Bliss to delete all her apps after I threatened to get her blacklisted from Hollywood,"

"Did she delete her apps?" Seth asked Roman.

"No, so I took her phone. Its pink and it sparkles all the time, I'm gonna give it to my daughter," Roman said and Seth smiled at Roman going through Alexa Bliss' phone. It was justice for the diabolical diminutive and all the trouble she'd caused Seth and Sacha, even though now it barely seemed worth it now that he couldn't even get Sacha to fawn over him the way she had been doing on their way to Harvard.

"If only I could figure out what happened to her, then I could fix it," Seth said thoughtfully.

"All you need to do is get her out of that sweater," Roman Reigns said. "I mean she was into you right? Seems like that sweater is the only thing keeping you two apart,"

"And she loves that thing, she slept in it last night, or so I heard. I slept in a spare dorm all by myself," Seth said sadly.

"Harvard doesn't have any spare dorms," Dean Ambrose said.

"Okay fine I slept in Hayworth's dorm okay? We slept in the same bed," Seth said and Roman and Dean burst out laughing.

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard, how cute you were sharing Prince Helmsley's Harvard dorm," Dean said.

"Yeah real funny, what better way to spend my night. I can't imagine what else I could be doing," Seth said sarcastically and the Shield gave him a reassuring look.

"Sacha told us that she wants to make love to you, that means whatever happened last night is just a freak accident.  
Soon she'll be all over you again. Mark my words," Roman said and Seth nodded.

"You're right, she loves me so of course she'll make love to me. I just need to get her out of that damn sweater. I mean she looks like such a nerd in it, it doesn't even fit her properly she's drowning in that thing. I can't see her beautiful body in it. That's not the Boss I wanna marry," Seth said. "I want the old Boss, the "Make love to me now Seth" Boss, not the "Did you know that Harvard was founded by Christians?" Boss. I gotta get her back to her old sexy self, I can't handle this version of my fiance,"

"Who could handle her? Girls like that don't get laid, ever," Roman said and Dean nodded.

"No girls like that take long baths and stay home every night," Dean said. "We'll get you back on track Seth, leave it to us. We got your back,"

"I knew I could count on you guys," Seth said feeling so much better after talking to his Shield brothers. Sacha Banks meant the world to him and he wanted her back and not for completely wholesome reasons. Making love to Sacha would take his mind off Roman and all that he had been through since he was diagnosed with cancer. If he spent anymore time worrying about Roman he was going to drive himself crazy, being with Sacha was survival for him. The romance was going to have to wait until Roman got better. Right now all he needed was sex and lots of it. He could barely look at Roman without thinking of how much pain he must be in and he knew it made Roman happy to know that he had someone in his life to be with, especially during this tough time in the life of the Shield. Dean had Renee, now Seth had Sacha and judging by Roman and Dean's experience, the Architect had a lot of catching up to do. He truly believed that having sex with Sacha was the best thing for him right now and nobody was going to convince him otherwise.


	18. Tales from the Sea

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Eighteen - Tales from the Sea

The Engimatic Hotel, New York

Jeff and Steph's hotel chain was a hit and Hunter and Shawn always made sure to book rooms there whenever the roster was in the Big Apple. While they were always welcome today Hunter had a motive for being there. Now that Joanie was back he needed to know once and for all how Stephanie felt about his relationship with her. The Billion Dollar Princess was very busy however and it was hard to track her down. He knew how much Jeff and Steph loved each other so he just wanted to make sure that was still the case.

As the DX Superstars enjoyed hanging out at the elaborate hotel before getting ready for RAW and SMACKDOWN, it was an excuse to spend as much time talking about Seth Rollins and Sacha Banks as possible. The only problem was when Sacha Banks showed up nobody recognized her. Everybody wanted to know what happened to the Boss. Now her pink hair was in a ponytail and she had on these thick nerd glasses. The kicker was the huge Harvard sweater that she was almost drowning in. If you didn't know it was Sacha Banks you might have mistaken her for a real student with body image issues.

"Okay Sacha, what's with the Harvard sweater?" Ember asked Sacha in the hotel dining room.

"Yeah is this a new gimmick or sommething?" Bayley asked.

"Didn't I unfriend you, why are you talking to me?" Sacha asked Bayley.

"The person that unfriended me would never wear a get-up like this," Bayley replied. Bayley and Sacha dressed the coolest out of everyone in the locker room, so this was a lot for Bayley and everyone else to take.

"Do you have something against Harvard?" Sacha asked.

"No, I've never been there. You clearly have, their souvenir store must love you," Bayley replied.

"This is not a souvenir, it was a gift from a very dear friend of mine," Sacha said proudly.

"Who gave it to you?" Ember asked Sacha.

"Hayworth Horace Helmsley," Sacha replied.

"So its a real sweater, doesn't Hayworth want it back?" Bayley asked.

"No, he said it looked better on me than it ever did on him. Plus he has more," Sacha replied drinking a vanilla milkshake coolly.

"Do you think he gave it to you because he thinks your hot?" Ember asked Sacha cheekily.

"Possibly, but he has a girlfriend and she is exceptional. There's no need for him to pursue another woman," Sacha replied.

"I think Seth might be thinking about pursuing another woman after seeing you in that sweater. Why are you dressed like this Sacha, its not you," Bayley said.

"Be quiet Bayley, I look great. Seth is not with me because of my looks, he's with me because I'm the Boss and I'm the Boss everyday of the week and twice on Sunday," Sacha replied.

"Yeah but the Boss was sexy, you look like a nerd," Bayley said.

"Are you saying that Seth won't be attracted to me because of what I'm wearing?" Sacha asked Bayley who nodded.

"I know Seth he has very specific taste and this sweater is not his idea of hot. You'd be lucky if he doesn't break off the engagement at this point,"

Sacha Banks threw her head back and laughed, "Spoken like a true unfriend, you have no idea what you're talking about. Like I said, I'm the Boss every day of the week and twice on Sunday, regardless of what I'm wearing. Nobody breaks up with the Boss, let alone the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with," Sacha said and Ember and Bayley exchanged weary glances.

"Okay Sacha, just be aware of how riddiculous you look in that sweater," Bayley said. "And remember who Seth Rollins is before you go walking around like it doesn't matter because I'm telling you, as your unfriend, that it does matter how you look around here,"

Sacha laughed off Bayley's comments and enjoyed the rest of her vanilla milkshake.

"Did you know that vanilla beans are some of the rarest beans in the world and that they only grow in certain countries?" Sacha asked Bayley and Ember who shrugged.

"Who cares?" Ember said and she waved to the Shield who had entered the dining area still trying to avoid Hunter.

The Shield came over to them and when Dean and Roman saw the girl in the big Harvard sweater disguised as Sacha Banks they looked at Seth with sympathy.

"Dude we're so sorry," Roman said to Seth who rolled his eyes at the sight of his fiance.

"Hey Seth, I was just telling Ember about how rare vanilla beans are and she totally blew off the information. I think we need to find new friends," Sacha said getting up and giving Seth a kiss.

Seth kissed her back hesistant to touch her, "I think I need to find Sacha Banks, have you seen her?" he asked Sacha, "She's about your height, only hot,"

Sacha laughed before kissing Seth, "I love you too," she said and she pulled Seth away from the table leaving Dean, Roman, Ember and Bayley perplexed by what they were seeing.

"Can somebody please tell me what the Hell happened to Sacha Banks?" Roman asked furrowing his brow.

"We'll let you know as soon as we find out, for now let's just all pretend this person walking around is really her and not some alien from planet nerd," Ember Moon said.

Alexa Bliss came over to the table after seeing Sacha leave with Seth.

"Who's that girl with Seth?" she asked them.

"Not now Alexa why don't you go donate your organs to a hospital while you're still alive and really do the world some good?" Bayley said to Alexa.

"Look if Seth's already moved on from the Boss I need to know," Alexa said.

"Why, so you can fail to get him to date you again?" Roman said sarcastically.

"Hey if Sacha doesn't change out of those clothes Alexa might have a shot, like the other thousands of women trying to get Seth in bed," Dean said and Alexa gasped.

"That girl was Sacha Banks?!" Alexa said loudly. "Its just like that movie She's All That, only instead of going from nerd to hot its the other way around,"

"She's All That, really?" Ember said as Alexa got a picture of Seth and Sacha.

"Give me that phone," Roman said and Alexa handed it over. "I told you to stay out of Seth and Sacha's business,"

"Gees Roman, give me a break. Do you know how many hits I get per hour? Fans are relying on me to keep them posted and you're getting in the way of my public service as a busybody," Alexa protested.

"Here's a thought Alexa, why don't you try being a friend and take Sacha shopping?" Roman suggested. "Get her out of that God awful sweater and make her dress more appropriately,"

"You're asking Alexa to make Sacha look good?" Bayley asked Roman. "Do you not know how much she dispises the Boss?"

"Yes I do but that ain't the Boss, that is a girl in need and who better at helping girls with obvious issues with their appearance than Bliss?" Roman said and Bayley and Ember looked at Roman like he was crazy.

Alexa smiled, "Coming from the Big Dog that means so much to me, I'm on it Roman and if I do a good job, can I please have my phone back?"

"I already gave it to my daughter but I'll buy you a new one if you do a good job," Roman said.

"Aye, aye captain I'm on it," Alexa Bliss said enthusiastically.

"Maybe she can finally get Sacha out of that sweater and all will be right with the world," Roman said and Bayley and Ember couldn't believe it.

"Roman are you nuts? Do you think Sacha will let Alexa anywhere near her?" Bayley asked Roman.

"Like I said, that ain't Sacha and I think we can all agree that we want Sacha back, nobody gets people's attention like Bliss and if she succeeds in getting Sacha out of that sweater nothing else matters," Roman said and Dean remained slient. "Hey how come you haven't said anythng?" Roman asked him.

"Because you just sent Seth another option in the form of a cute, sexy, blond with crazy motivation for making sure Seth and Sacha break up. Wait-a-go Roman, you just broke up Seth and Sacha via Alexa," Dean replied.

"Hey that will never happen, as much as Seth hates what's happened to Sacha he still loves her and he can't stand Alexa Bliss so you don't need to worry about him choosing her over Sacha," Roman said.

"Do you not remember what Seth said to us a few minutes ago? He's not interested in anything right now other than sex and that's the first thing Alexa is going to offer him, if he turns her down it would be like seeing food on your plate and refusing to eat it," Dean said and Roman furrowed his brow.

"I don't understand the analogy what does Sacha and Seth have to do with food?" he asked.

"Because sometimes you can't just eat whatever you want because its on your plate, sometimes you gotta say no because you know if you eat the food you'll ruin your diet," Dean explained and Bayley and Ember nodded.

"Dean's right, Sacha is Seth's diet; she keeps him in line because she's the Boss and she's good for him. Alexa is like the buffet table at Red Lobster; one plate of that crap will send you on a never-ending spiral of self-destruction that it will be impossible to get out of your system without vomitting," Bayley said. "My God, Roman what have you done, you just sent Seth to Red Lobster,"

"I think you guys are all crazy, not to mention way too fussy about what you eat. All Alexa is going to do is change Sacha's mind about that sweater, Seth is still going to be with the Boss in the end okay?" Roman said and Ember shook her head.

"I hope you're right Roman, otherwise you're the one who's going to have to hold Seth's hair back when he starts vomiting up all the Bliss he ate," she said and everyone laughed hoping that Roman was right and they were wrong.


	19. Diamond Ink

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Nineteen - Diamond Ink

Chyna and Hunter warmed everyone's hearts when they spoke about how their love overcame all doubt and fear and despite months of being seperated from each other, they were proof that love survives even the greatest of adversities. The fact that Chyna was techically dead was remarkable but the reason behind it all still escaped everyone, mostly because Hunter had been a little short on the details. He didn't want to tell everyone about Stephanie being at the Hudson River that night or the Shield being there, or there being a witch there that took possession of Joanie's body. All he wanted everyone to know and see with their own eyes was that Joanie was safe and sound and back with her family.

"Joanie you look incredible," Natayla said squeezing Joanie's hands lovingly. "Its so good to see you,"

"Thanks Nattie," Chyna said.

"Does it feel weird being back?" Charlotte Flair asked.

"No it doesn't really feel like I've been gone. I was in good hands down there," Joanie said and Nattie and Charlotte listened intrigued. "I was telling my family that it was like that movie the Little Mermaid. I was in a kingdom, with all these sea creatures and thousands of other souls and we were all waiting to retun to the surface so we could be with our true loves," Chyna explained and everyone listening was amazed.

"So it was like purgatory, only underwater," Becky Lynch asked.

"Yeah it really was, I mean I was dead but I could see, I could move and I was in my right mind the whole time. There was only one thing that bothered me," Joanie said but Hunter cut her off before she could explain what she meant by that.

"Okay guys I think that's more than enough for you to hear, Joanie's back now and that's all that matters," Hunter said abruptly.

"But I wanna hear more," AJ Styles complained.

"Yeah, I wanna know what she saw underwater," Daniel Bryan added.

"Most of your merchandise I'm sure," Hunter said and everyone laughed as Hunter took Joanie away from the prying eyes of the locker room.

"Hunter I don't mind talking about what happened to me," Chyna said to her husband. "I'm fine with all the questions you don't have to worry,"

"I know you are Jo and there'll be plenty of time for you to fill everyone in as soon as we've talked to Stephanie about what she was doing there that night," Hunter said.

"Jeff said she might not make it back to New York today, why don't we just chill until she gets here? After talking to everyone I feel a lot better about what happened to me," Joanie said.

"Well I don't and I want answers," Hunter said firmly. "Don't get me wrong I'm super stoked to have you back in my arms but I need to put this whole murder mystery to bed before I can truly be happy to see you,"

"Well I am truly happy to see you, not even attempted murder could keep us apart Hunter, how awesome is that?" Joanie said and she wrapped her arms around Hunter and kissed him lovingly.

"I pray to God it wasn't attempted murder Joanie," Hunter said quietly. "Because if it was Stephanie McMahon Hardy is going to jail for a very long time,"

"A McMahon in jail? Never," Joanie said laughing it off but Hunter was serious and as far as he was concerned it was no laughing matter.


	20. Bliss Ache

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty - Bliss Ache

Back in the dining area, Seth and Sacha had returned to ask why Alexa Bliss was giving Sacha fashion advice all of a sudden. After being yelled at by Roman and Dean, Seth and Sacha headed back out with Alexa who continued to give Sacha advice that was falling flat. Not because Sacha wasn't listening but because Seth was making it difficult for Sacha to hear Bliss out. Everytime Bliss spoke Seth kept rolling his eyes like she didn't know what she was talking about and it was starting to affect Bliss' confidence.

"Let me show you this top right here, see I've got it in black I'm sure Seth you prefer it to what Sacha is wearing now right?" Alexa asked and Sacha turned to Seth.

"You like this top Seth?" Sacha said and Seth nodded.

"I'd like it on you, not Bliss," he said.

"That's totally understandable you guys are engaged so I won't take that personally," Alexa Bliss said.

"Well you should because I was being very personal," Seth said.

"Okay Seth you think I look like crap in this top I get it, let's move on to where the action really is. Lingerie!" Bliss said and Seth narrowed his gaze as Sacha followed Alexa almost excitedly to the lingerie section.

"I guess I'll just wait here," Seth said. "The chances of me seeing Boss in her underwear are shrinking by the hour thanks to that sweater,"

"Well you can always wish Seth, or try to imagine what's going on under this giant monstrosity," Alexa Bliss said pulling at Sacha's sweater.

It didn't take Seth long to imagine what Sacha would look like in lingerie but that only made him feel worse.

"Check out this hot pink number right here, Seth don't you think Sacha would look hot in this?" Alexa asked Rollins who was now texting Xavier Woods on his cell phone.

"Hey Seth why aren't you looking at me?" Sacha said coming over to Seth and bringing him closer. "Do you like this?" she asked him and Seth smiled at her.

"I love it and I love you, so buy it and let's go," Seth said.

"Okay success, so you'll get this black shirt that I am currently wearing with the underwear and you'll be looking hot for your next date," Alexa said.

"A date that will never happen if you don't hurry up and get out of here Alexa," Seth said to Bliss annoyed.

"Seth take it easy," Sacha said. "She's just trying to help you manage your fantasy life,"

"Fantasy life?" Seth said confused.

"You know the life you live outside of reality where I'm constantly trying to sleep with you and my clothes are real tight all the time and my make up is beyond awesome," Sacha said and Alexa smiled.

"Kind of like me," Alexa said confidently.

"Wait, let me get this straight. You think that my fantasy is for you to look like Alexa Bliss?" Seth asked Sacha.

"No that's her fantasy I was just playing along," Sacha said and Alexa stuck her tongue out at Seth.

"Careful how far you stick out that tongue," Sacha warned Alexa.

"Seth's being so mean to me, I'm just trying to help you manage your fantasy life," Alexa said.

"I live in a world where I'm marrying the Boss, you're the one living in a fantasy world. You think I would ever date Boss if she looked like you?" Seth said to Bliss and Sacha didn't like the way Seth was talking to Alexa.

"Seth you're being kinda rude right now," Boss said to Seth.

"I'm defending you babe," Seth said. "At least you wouldn't stick your fingers down your throat if you put a pound on,"

"Seth!" Sacha cried out in annoyance.

"You think I'm fat?" Alexa asked Seth.

"No I think you're evil, the fat just covers it up," Seth said and Alexa raked at her hair.

"I can't believe you think I'm fat, I've been so careful. I knew there was a reason you always hated me," Alexa said and Sacha started to panic.

"Alexa calm down, Seth go get her some water," Sacha said but Seth didn't move.

"Are you falling for all this, she's just putting on a show," Seth said.

"No I think you triggered her bulimia," Sacha said and Alexa started to hyperventilate.

"I think I need to go to the bathroom," Alexa said and Sacha gave Seth a murderous look.

"See I told you, now she wants to throw up because you said that she's fat. If I had a gun I'd smack you over the head with it," Sacha said angrily.

"So not only won't you make love to me but you'd attack me with a weapon because I made fun of a woman who has done nothing but try to drive a wedge between us for weeks," Seth complained. "Just whose side are you on Sacha?"

"I'm on the right side, which side are you on?" Sacha said.

"I need some water," Alexa Biss said.

"Seth take her outside so she can get some air," Sacha said and Seth protested.

"I am not going anywhere with her," Seth said. "Why would you do that to me, what if she throws up on me?"

"Seth that's enough!" Sacha yelled. "Now stop being such a jerk and take Alexa for a walk and while you're at it apologize to her and tell how how great she looks. She's a freakin Women's Champion for crying out loud and as a Champion yourself I expect you to give her the respect she deserves, Champion to Champion," Sacha said and Seth gave up.

"I can't win with you Sacha, what are you going to do while I'm with Alexa?" Seth asked picking Alexa off the ground.

"Well first I'm going to put this lingerie back and then I'm going home. Call me when Alexa feels better about herself," Sacha said and now it was Seth's turn to panic.

"Sacha please I didn't mean to upset her I'm just so frustrated that we're engaged and we still haven't managed to have a real date yet, and Alexa's the reason for that. Can't you see why I don't want her around us?" Seth argued but Sacha was already putting the lingerie back and two seconds after that she was on her way out of the store and making her way back to the hotel without Seth.

While Seth was watching her go Alexa broke free from him and threw up in the ladies bathroom. Seth followed her and listened to her throw up what wasn't even there. He held her hair back as she cried over the toilet. After ten minutes he was exhausted.

"I'm sorry Alexa, I just can't handle low self-esteem," Seth said with his head back on the bathroom stall.

"Is that why you're with Sacha, because she's so confident all the time?" Alexa said and Seth gave her some water.

"Yup, she's the Boss and when we finally do get married she'll be my Freakin Boss," Seth replied.

"So you're saying I need to have more confidence like Sacha and then you'll like me and you won't be so mean to me?" Alexa said with tears running down her mascara laden cheeks.

"I wasn't mean to you Alexa I was merely attacking you verbally in retaliation for how mean you've been to me," Seth said. "You wanted me and Sacha to break up and you said you hoped we had the worst engagement ever and here I am, watching you throw up while Sacha's probably thinking about breaking up with me. Congratulations, you got what you wanted. Happy?"

"Seth, I'm leaning over a toilet bowl with tears running down my face. What part of this is the happy part?" Alexa said and Seth fell silent.

"I really hurt your feelings?" he asked her.

"I nearly died because of my condition Seth, things like that don't just go away you have to work at them and you made fun of me for being bulimic," Alexa said and Seth tried to make an excuse but he couldn't. Alexa was really hurt, he was too but it wasn't the time to let that show.

"Alexa let's go outside, let's see Manhattan and hopefully after we've spent enough time together you'll start to understand why self-esteem is the most important characteristic a human being can have," Seth said and he pulled Alexa up and took her hand. "I'm so sorry," he said to her sincerely.

"I'm sorry too," Alexa replied and they headed downtown while Sacha watched from the coffee shop across the street.

"At a boy Rollins, that's the man I wanna marry," she said to herself impressed at the love Seth was showing a very distressed Alexa Bliss. If anyone could teach Alexa about self-love it was Seth. For years he'd encouraged the talent at NXT about the importance of having confidence and not being afraid to be the best. Now Alexa was going to have a firsthand experience of something she already knew.

A few hours later Seth and Alexa were walking back into the Enigmatic Hotel holding hands.

"Wow Seth I never knew I could change the way I feel about myself. I feel great now," Alexa said.

"We're not done there's so much more you gotta learn about yourself Alexa. Let's talk on the way to the gym, hopefully Boss is still around. I gotta make sure she's still in love with me," Seth said.

"There she is, hey Boss!" Alexa cried out and Sacha feigned like she didn't wanna talk to them. "Ah I know that trick, she's pretending not to see you,"

"Looks like I'm in hot water," Seth said.

"I'll see you later Seth, I don't think I should be around for this," Alexa said and she hugged Seth much to Sacha's delight and left while Seth sheepishly headed over to the woman he loved.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said to Boss who refused to make eye contact with him.

"Can't you see I'm reading?" Sacha said curtly.

"Okay I get it I was completely wrong for making fun of Alexa's bulimia but all I could think about was...you know what its not important," Seth said cutting himself off, "All that matters is that I was wrong. Please Sacha I'm sorry about the way I acted but I am not sorry about the way I feel about you. Can you please look at me?"

Sacha smiled and looked up at Seth with a warm smile, "I am so proud of you. I saw you walking to Manhattan with Alexa, you were encouraging her just like you always do. That's the guy she needed to see, girls like Alexa need to be built up not torn down, she can do that pretty well herself and you showed her love today Seth. That's the man I fell in love with years ago and that's the man I want to marry," Sacha said and Seth kissed her passionately.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt but after seeing you guys kiss I just had to say this," Alexa Bliss said coming over to Seth and Sacha.

"Now is not the best time," Seth said.

"Yes it is," Alexa said firmly and she looked at Sacha. "Seth deserves a woman who knows how to take care of herself and that means dressing to a certain standard. Lose the damn sweater,"

Seth hi-fived Alexa and Sacha laughed as they hugged. "You can't get mad at me cause she said it," Seth said to Sacha.

"The sweater stays but I don't think our engagement needs to last one minute more," Sacha said to Seth.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked and Alexa listened in hoping Sacha was going to say what she wanted her to say.

"Let's get married tonight, after RAW," Sacha said. "We'll invite all our friends and get Big E to officiate the ceremony,"

"Can I come?" Alexa said.

"Yeah, you can come," Seth said to Alexa. "I mean I'm gonna be there and the two of us are friends now right?"

Alexa smiled in delight, "Right," she said hugging Seth. "Wow you're like the brother I always wanted,"

"What's going on over here?" Bayley said coming over to the table with Ember and the Shield.

"They're getting married tonight," Alexa explained and Bayley's face fell at the sight of Alexa's arms wrapped around Seth.

"You guys are getting married tonight?" Bayley repeated and the Shield piled onto Seth with joy.

"Congratulations brother, that means you can finally lose your virginity!" Roman said and Seth blushed.

"Thanks Roman," Seth said embarassed even though on the inside he was doing moonsaults. He couldn't wait.

"That's awesome!" Ember said hugged Sacha and Seth.

"How come you told Alexa but you didn't tell me?" Bayley asked annoyed.

"Its a long story," Alexa explained but Bayley cut her off.

"I'm sorry was I asking you?" Bayley said and Seth frowned at Bayley.

"This is a happy moment Bayley don't spoil it," he said and now Bayley was really pissed.

"I'm sorry Seth I thought you'd tell me about the most important night of your life before you told the woman who has systematically tried to tear you guys apart for months.  
I must be such a jerk for caring about you guys," Bayley said sarcastically.

"Yeah we've already been through that, you're kinda late to the party Bayley," Seth said.

"And you are a jerk that's why I unfriended you remember?" Sacha said to Bayley.

"Right, I remember now. We're not friends anymore," Bayley said and she walked away.

"Just let her go she just needs to get used to this new friendship," Sacha said squeezing Alexa's hand.

Alexa's self-esteem was through the roof right now.

"Can I tweet this out Roman?" she asked Roman Reigns.

"Okay but only to the roster not the public," Roman said and he handed Alexa back her phone.

"Thanks Roman, I missed you iGlitter," she said to her phone.

"You named your phone?" Dean asked Alexa.

"Hey you would too if you used it as much as I do," Alexa said and seconds later everyone on the roster new about the wedding.

Big E was on board to officiate and all Alexa do was find the perfect dress.

"Seth do you think you could help me find something to wear for the ceremony?" Alexa asked Rollins who was walking on cloud nine right now.

"How about what you're wearing now, confidence and self-esteem. That's all you need Alexa because when you've got that anything you wear will look great," Seth said and Roman and Dean applauded Alexa to show her support.

Ember nodded impressed,"Wow Seth that was amazing," she said touching her heart. "I didn't know he was so good with words,"

"That's not all I'm good with," Seth said to himself but Alexa heard him.

"Here's some advicce from your new little sister," Alexa said to Seth. "The Boss is only the Boss by day, by night she might need you to be the Boss. Do you know what I mean Seth?"

"Nope," Seth said obliviously.

"Just take the lead," Alexa explained. "Sacha's gonna need you to go with your instincts because she will want you to be yourself so she doesn't have to be the Boss, she can just be Sacha,"

"I still don't get what you mean," Seth said and Alexa whispered exactly what she meant.

"You want me to what?!" Seth said alarmed at what Alexa advised him to do.

"Trust me on this Seth, go with your instincts. You've been waiting for this for a long time and when those feelings kick in, just go with them," Alexa said and Seth covered his mouth in shock.

"Okay," he agreed nodding, for some reason he was agreeing to take Alexa Bliss' advice. "I don't think I've ever shown Sacha that side of me,"

"Exactly," Alexa Bliss said. "By the time the sun comes up, you'll be glad you took my advice,"

The words Alexa whispered in Seth's ear were "No more Mr. Nice Guy." Seth knew exactly what she meant by that.

"I just hope Sacha's up for it," Seth said.

"Oh trust me, she will be," Alexa said.

"Will she be though, or are you living vicariously through my soon-to-be wife?" Seth said.

"You've seen first hand what happen you're mean to me, I end up face-down in the bathroom. That won't happen with Sacha, be mean Seth, be really, really mean. I want you to pull her hair, I want you to take control of that bitch and show her who's Boss! She'll love it, because its so the opposite of who you are," Alexa explained.

"Yes it is the opposite of who I am, so why would I pretend to be someone I'm not?" Seth asked confused.

"Because you're really good at it that's why. It's just for fun remember, a vulnerable Banks with a dominant Rollins, how hot is that?" Alexa said.

"You are living vicariously through Sacha, I want our first time to be sexy not scary," Seth said.

"Fine Seth do it your way I mean, with all your years of experience in the bedroom there's no need to listen to me. I mean what does Alexa Bliss know about sex?" Alexa Bliss said sarcastically and Seth looked at her blankly. "I know a lot okay? I'm just trying to help,"

"Thanks for the advice Alexa but I think I'll stick to romance, sex is not supposed to be scary," Seth said. "I love Sacha, why would I want to be mean to her?"

"Because you're too damn nice to her, if you're too sweet Seth she's gonna be thinking of you as her brother not her lover," Alexa said.

"Ew that's gross, okay we're done here. I'll see you at the wedding," Seth said heading off finally hearing enough of what Bliss had to say.

"I'm right Seth, don't let her think you're too sweet!" Bliss said.

Sacha wondered what Seth and Alexa were talking about, she shrugged it off and called her family and told them to get to New York City asap.

"Yup I'm getting married to Seth tonight mom, just like you always wanted. I'll see you soon, I know I'm so excited I can't wait. No Bayley will not be my maid of honor, who will be? Um..." Sacha said looking over at Alexa Bliss. "I think you should come and see for yourself,"

Sacha hung up and headed to her room with Alexa Bliss leaving Bayley in a jealous rage as the former Women's Champions left her in the dust while they planned the wedding party of the year without her.


	21. Naked Bayley

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty One - Naked Bayley

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter contains mildly suggestive language that is sexual in nature and is not suitable for younger readers.**

The Enigmatic Hotel, New York City, New York

The show was over and everyone was heading back to the hotel for Seth and Sacha's wedding ceremony. The hotel had already been taken over by the roster and family that had flown in especially for the very special occasion.

Shawn and Amy were over the moon and they made sure that Hunter got Hayworth down from Harvard while the other DX kids were on their way to the hotel for the ceremony. As Alexa Bliss promised it was kept very low profile and only those in the wrestling world knew about it.

Seth was in his hotel room pulling on his groom suit and he was defenitely going to need Roman's help with the 3 piece get-up Dean Ambrose had picked out.

"Man this thing is tight," Seth said buttoning the very tight shirt from the top of the collar. He had his cell-phone on speaker while he spoke to Roman who was getting ready with his family.

"How sweet is that leather waistcoat that Ambrose picked out huh?" Roman said.

"Yeah its awesome but this shirt is so tight, I don't think I can wear this," Seth said nervously. "But I really want this thing to go perfect I have to look perfect too,"

"Okay I'm coming over to help you, I'll be there in 5 minutes," Roman said.

"Okay thanks babe, bye," Seth said and he waited for Roman to come and help him look good for the most important night of his life.

There was a knock at the door and Seth was impressed, "Wow Big Dog that was quick," Seth said thinking it was Roman. He was surprised to open the door and see Bayley standing in front of him.

"Hey Seth, wow you look great," she said.

"Thanks Bayley, you look nice too," Seth said to the former NXT Champion.

Bayley was wearing a tight sequin black dress with wrap-arouond heels. Her left arm was fully covered but her right arm was exposed.

"I hope you don't mind if I come in for a minute," Bayley said.

"No sure get in here, Roman should be along in a second, I'm having a problem with this shirt button," Seth said fiddling with the shirt.

Bayley closed the door behind her watching as Seth tried to re-button the shirt button after failing so many times.

"Here let me try," Bayley said and Seth lifted up his head so she could get to his neck which was being strangled by this very tight shirt.

"I've been struggling with this thing for ages, maybe all I needed was a woman's touch," Seth said and Bayley started to unbutton the shirt.

"Yeah I totally agree Seth, all you need is a woman's touch," Bayley said unbuttoning Seth's shirt but the groom was so distracted he didn't even realise what was going on until all his shirt buttons were undone and Bayley was caressing the hair on his chest.

"That's not the kind of touch I want," Seth said knocking Bayley's hand away furiously. "Damn it Bayley I thought all this going after me crap was done, please don't tell me Dean put you up to this,"

Bayley shook her head, "Dean doesn't know anything about this. I'm here because I want to be. You see Seth I understand how important this night is for you, after tonight it'll be just you and Sacha together forever as one,"

Bayley suddenly pulled the sequin dress off in one swift motion revealling her naked body underneath.

"I just wanted to give you a chance to see what else is out there just in cass you change your mind," she said.

Seth's mouth dropped as Bayley stood in front of him, totally one hudred percent, naked.

"So what do you think?" she said to him as he stood there speechless. "Come on Seth don't just stand there say something,"

Seth's cell-phone rang and he answered it.

"Yo bro, are you ready to walk down the hotel banquet room isle?" Dean Ambrose asked. "I'm about to come over with Renee, you about ready to do this?"

"Bayley's naked," Seth said emotionlessly.

"What?" Dean Ambrose said and Seth picked up his cell-phone and put it on video mode.

"I said Bayley is naked," he repeated and he turned his phone around to show Ambrose that he wasn't kidding.

"Oh my God!" Dean Ambrose yelled and Renee came over to see what Dean was yelling about.

"Is that Bayley?!" Renee said and Dean ran over to Seth's hotel room while Renee went to find Sacha and tell her what Bayley was up to.

Another knock came at the door and Seth very slowly went to it unable to take his eyes off Sacha's closest friend standing in front of him totally naked.

"Hey man I'm here to solve your shirt problem, I think you can do the other buttons yourself though Seth. Why aren't you all unbuttoned, we've only got few minutes before we have to go downtairs?" Roman said and Seth pointed to Bayley. "Oh my God!" Roman said as Dean came rushing in behind him.

"Bayley's naked!" Roman cried and the Shield looked at Sacha's best friend not knowing what to say or do right now.

"I can't believe none of you guys are saying anything, at least give me a rating out of 10," Bayley said pulling at her ponytail seductively.

"10," The Shield said at the same-time.

A few seconds later Renee Young and Naomi ran into Seth's hotel room and covered Bayley up with a blanket.

"Have you lost your damn mind?!" Naomi said as Renee dragged Bayley out of Seth's room by her ponytail.

Seth looked down at Bayley's sequin black dress which was crumpled up on the floor while Dean and Roman watched as Naomi and Renee ripped into Bayley escorting her as far away from Seth as possible.

Dean covered his face while Seth went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face.

Roman crashed onto Seth's bed. "Seth are you okay?" Roman asked Seth as he towelled off his face.

"No, are you?" Seth asked Roman.

"I've only seen two women naked in my entire life and Bayley is the second one," Roman said. "Okay let's try to re-focus, get Bayley's naked body-"

"-Bayley's hot naked body," Ambrose added.

"Yes Dean thank you, let's all get Bayley's hot naked body out of our minds and get ready for this wedding," Roman said and he started to fix a high-disturbed Seth's Rollins' shirt.

"Why did she do this?" Seth asked Roman.

"Because she's mad at Sacha for choosing Alexa to be her maid of honor instead of her. This is her way of getting revenge," Roman said and he did Seth's shirt perfect. "Now you gotta promise me one thing, when you make love to Sacha tonight, do not under any circumstances think about Bayley,"

"Seth can't do that, no man could do that! He just saw Bayley naked on his wedding night. How is he not supposed to think about that?" Dean said exasperated. "I bet you're thinking about Bayley right now," he said to Seth.

"I am but it won't last, I'm just in shock but it'll wear off, I'll be fine by tonight Sacha will be the only woman I'm thinking about," Seth said and Roman smiled.

"At a boy, nothing is going to stop this wedding not even naked Bayley," Roman said and the Shield paused and reflected on the naked body they had all just seen. Roman finally broke the silence, "How hot is Bayley guys,"

"I know right," Seth said and Dean concurred.

"While we are in agreement that Bayley is hot, she's not the woman you're marrying tonight," Roman said. "Tonight you are marrying the Boss Sacha Banks, are you ready?"

"Yes I am ready," Seth said shaking the image of naked Bayley from his mind and re-focussing back on Sacha. "Let's go I'm getting married to Sacha Banks tonight!"

The Shield shared a fist bump and started to leave the hotel room.

"Wait I think we should pray," Roman said and Seth frowned at him.

"Why?" he asked puzzled.

"I think God should be a part of this," Roman said.

"Well I don't want God to be a part of it, I've got you guys and that's all I need," Seth said and Roman looked sad. "I know you have your beliefs Roman but don't push them on me, especially tonight,"

"Okay Seth, whatever makes you happy," Roman said and Seth felt uneasy all of a sudden. Here he was about to get married to the love of his life and he was turning down a request from a man battling cancer who belieived in a God that he didn't.

"You know what that's fine, let's pray," Seth said with a smile. "If it makes you feel better Roman,"

Dean smiled as Seth showed how important Roman was to him once again and Roman led the Shield in prayer and asked for God to protect them and cover Seth and Sacha on the most important night of their lives.


	22. Seth, Interrupted

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Two - Seth, Interrupted

The Engimatic Hotel, New York, 11:30pm

Seth looked at his watch, it was 11:30pm and everyone was in place. Big E, the guests, everyone was waiting for the wedding cerermony to begin. There was only one person missing and that was the bride.

"Where is Sacha?" Seth asked Roman and Dean who exchanged suspicious looks.

"We don't know," Roman said," But there's something fishy about this,"

"Yeah I don't like it, something's up. Where is she?" Dean said and he looked over at Renee who shrugged.

Alexa Bliss started playing with her hair. She was at the door waiting for Sacha to arrive and at the same-time she was reminding everyone not to mention the B word, the B was for Bayley (unless you were in the women's locker room then the B stood for something else).

"Finally, what on Earth took you so long?" Alexa said seeing Sacha come from upstairs. "Why the Hell are you wearing that sweater? Where's your wedding dress that your mom picked out?"

Sacha walked passed Bliss apologetically, "I can explain," she said heading towards the altar where Seth was waiting for her.

Seth couldn't get two words out as the confetti was put on pause as soon as everyone saw that Sacha was not in her wedding dress.

"The wedding's off, or at least it will be once you see who came despite you insisting he stay upstairs," Sacha said and Seth rolled his eyes.

"It could only be one person," Seth said soberly and Dean and Roman frowned as Triple H made his most unwelcome appearance.

Chyna covered her eyes and Shawn and Amy rushed Hunter backwards like football players.

"We told you to stay upstairs," Shawn said forcefully and they held Hunter back with Righteous Indignation.

Seth turned to Big E who was shaking his head at Hunter, "Start the ceremony," he said and Big E started as requested much to Sacha's delight.

"But babe if Hunter objects we won't be able to get married," Sacha said.

"What possible reason could he have to object to us getting married?" Seth said. "Because I didn't ask him for his blessing? I don't believe in blessings, to Hell with him,"

"Seth can we please not talk about Hell on our wedding day?" Sacha said and Seth smiled at her.

"Sorry my love, this is my idea of Heaven," Seth said sarcastically and Sacha sighed. "What you know how I feel about God,"

"Well that might be a problem since I do believe in God and I don't want that to change once we're married," Sacha said.

"Hey don't give up on me now Sacha, I thought you Christians were supposed to convert people like me," Seth said as Hunter pie faced Shawn and Amy jumped on his back.

"I will convert you, to the best husband ever," Sacha said and Seth smiled.

"That's more like it," Big E said. "Now I have a Bible here, Seth do you mind if I use it?"

"Mind? I've never read the thing, how does it go?" Seth said and the DX kids started to laugh.

"Don't worry Sacha we'll give Seth a crash course in Christianity after the ceremony," Cameron said as LC held his arm trying to resist getting out Ole' Sledgie and hitting her father over the head with it.

"Hey I know some stuff; Jesus, the Resurrection, Heaven, Hell, that's it right?" Seth said.

"Well there's about 66 books worth of information that you need to familiarise yourself, the most important part is giving your life to Christ," Big E said.

"Hey can we get this show on the road please?" Alexa Bliss said to Big E. "If these two don't say "I do" in two minutes Hunter's gonna stop this wedding,"

"No we got this, keep talking Big E!" Shawn Michaels said with Hunter in a headlock and Amy was scissoring his ankles with her legs. The Game was trapped. For now...

"Okay so how many lives does Jesus need, isn't he happy with the one he's got? Why does he need mine?" Seth said.

"Because he created you and he wants you to be part of his family. You see Seth there are two kingdoms, there's God's kingdom and there's Satan's kingdom. Its up to God to make sure that you know that you have a choice in which kingdom you belong to. Jesus is that choice, understand?" Big E said.

"So what do I need a passport or something? How do I get into this kingdom?" Seth asked.

"Its simple, all you need to do is say the Sinner's Prayer," Big E said and Roman smiled.

"How does it go?" Seth asked curiously.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me, guys its gonna be midnight in twenty minutes can we please talk about this after the wedding ceremony?" Bliss said and Dean and Roman frowned at her.

"For the last time Alexa, this is not a fairytale; not everything has to happen at midnight," Roman said and everyone laughed.

"Well it is kind of a fairytale, I've wanted to marry Seth since day one. Tonight my wish comes true," Sacha said and everyone smiled, there were even some tears, mostly from Roman Reigns which Seth noticed.

"Are you okay Big Dog?" he said concerned that Roman was getting too emotional.

"Yeah I'm just so proud of you Seth," Roman said.

"So if I say the Sinner's Prayer will you stop crying?" Seth said and Remi and RJ frowned.

"No that's your choice to make not mine," Roman said and Seth shrugged and turned back to Big E.

"Alexa I got this let go of my Bible!" Big E said as Alexa tried to hurry up the service by highlighting the parts of the Bible Seth could read after the ceremony.

"How does the Sinner's Prayer go?" Seth asked Big E.

"I'll tell you but if you say it you will be a Born Again Christian," Big E said and Seth nodded.

"Well Shawn and AJ are born again Christians and Roman and Sacha seem to love Jesus, he can't be that bad," Seth said and RJ and Remi went to stand up but Trish and Randy told them to sit down.

"There's a lot more to it than that Seth, you have to totally change your life," Big E said. "You have to read your Bible, or in your case, buy a Bible and go to church every Sunday and treat people like Jesus wants you to treat them," Big E said.

"Every Sunday, so before house shows?" Seth said.

"Okay I think he's got the basic idea, say the stupid prayer already!" Alexa said and Hunter suddenly broke free.

"Oh no he's loose!" LC said and she blocked her father with Old Sledgie.

"LC put that down," Hunter insisted. "I object!" he yelled and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

"I haven't gotten to that part yet," Big E said and he looked at Seth. "Do you want to say the Sinner's Prayer?"

"I don't know, should I?" Seth asked Roman.

"I can't make that decision for you Seth, this is your choice and nobody else's," Roman said.

"Me and Jesus huh? What's he like?" Seth asked Sacha.

"He's awesome and he'd love you to be part of his family, just like I want you to be part of mine," Sacha said and Big E cleared his throat.

"Well technically if Seth gives his life to Christ, he'll be the Boss, not you. Are you cool with that?" Big E said and Seth frowned while Dean Ambrose smiled.

"What, how's that?" Seth said as Alexa Bliss started to pray that Seth and Sacha would say their vows before midnight.

"Well according to the New Testament, the man is the head and the woman is the -"

"Tail?" Seth asked and everyone laughed.

"No, she's still your wife and you guys are equal, its just that Sacha would have to submit to you, like you were her literal lord," Big E said and Dean Ambrose broke out in a round of applause.

"Yes, I've waited so long for someone to Boss Sacha around. DO it Seth, make Jesus the head of your life so you can be the Legit Boss," Ambrose said and Sacha punched him on the arm.

"You know you guys can always talk about this later," Alexa Bliss said sitting on the altar.

"No I think I'm good, how does it go?" Seth asked Big E. "I wanna say the Sinner's Prayer."

The roster couldn't believe what they were hearing, "Seth's gonna be a Jesus freak, like Shawn and AJ Styles," Kevin Owens said and AJ Styles looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"I'd rather be like HBK than you," he said and Owens laughed thinking no-one was better than him, not even Shawn Michaels.

"Okay here goes," Big E started. "Say Dear Lord,"

"Dear Lord," Seth started. "So whose Lord, is that Jesus?"

"Yeah that's one of the names he goes by," Big E said.

"Can't I just call him J?" Seth said and there was suddenly a sound so beautiful heard all around the altar in the hotel conference suite.

"Did you hear that?" Roman Reigns said and Shawn and Amy explained.

"Seth made Jesus laugh," Amy said before they jumped on Hunter again.

"Okay let's do this after, Hunter's about to get us all kicked outta here," Seth said annoyed at Hunter's irrational behaviour. Sacha could see that he was mad and she gave his hand a loving squeeze.

"Seth Rollins, do you take Sacha Banks to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and wellness, through rich and poor, for better or for worse, until death do you part?" Big E asked Seth.

"I do," Seth said and Sacha felt her stomach flip.

"I really wish I hadn't let Hunter talk me out of wearing my wedding dress," she said sadly and now Seth was really mad.

"I'm on it!" Alexa Bliss said and she ran back up to Sacha's room to get her wedding dress.

"Where's she going?" Roman said and Dean was still laughing over Seth being the Boss of Sacha.

"Come on Big E ask Sacha if she'll take Seth to be her lawful wedded husband so we can get back to the Sinner's Prayer," Dean said.

"Will do Mr. Ambrose, you're quite the Boss yourself tonight. Sacha Banks, do you take Seth Rollins to be your lawful, wedded husband, in rich in poor, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, til death do you part?" Big E asked Sacha Banks.

"I do," Sacha said.

"Now do you have the rings?" Big E asked the Shield and Roman handed Seth Sacha's wedding band while Dean held onto Sacha's.

"Seth please place the ring on Sacha's finger," Big E said and Hunter wrestled himself free from Shawn and Amy as Alexa came back with Sacha's wedding dress.

"Here put this on over the sweater," Alexa said.

"Are you crazy it won't fit over the sweater, I have to take it off," Sacha said.

"Yes!" Seth cheered. "I finally get to see you without that sweater on for the first time in weeks,"

"Yeah am I ever going to get it back by any chance?" Hayworth said.

"It doesn't matter because no-one is getting married tonight," Hunter said. "Big E, I think you left out the most important part,"

"No I didn't because it is not the most important part, only to you for some reason. Can you please tell me why you object to ths beautiful union of Seth Rollins and Sacha Banks?" Big E said.

"I object because I don't want Seth Rollins anywhere near Sacha or any of the women of DX Inc ever again. I talked to Stephanie on the phone she'll be here in a minute," Hunter said firmly.

"Oh this is too much," Seth said shaking his head as Alexa Bliss pulled Sacha's wedding dress over the huge Harvard sweater and buttoned it up. "What did your crazy ex-wife say, that she's in love with me as-well as you?"

"What?!" Jeff Hardy said looking at Stephanie who had just arrived.

"Oh Steph, you made it just in time. Why don't you tell everyone what you told me happened on the night Joanie died in the Hudson?" Hunter asked Steph.

"Quick Big E finish it, say "By the powers vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. Seth you may now kiss the bride,"" Alexa said and everyone cheered as Seth kissed Sacha.

"No wait that doesn't count, I object!" Hunter said. "Big E has to say that not Alexa,"

"Did you know you can get ordained online now? I literally just got my license while you were talking," Alexa said and Big E hugged her while Sacha and Seth kissed each other again and again.

"We did it, we didn't let anyone stop us from getting married. And its almost midnight, we made it Alexa!" Sacha said wiping a tear from her eye as Hunter argued with Big E.

"That before midnight stuff is for fairytales, this is real life and it is so much better then any Disney movie I ever saw," Alexa said wiping a tear from her eyes.

The Shield hoisted Seth and Sacha up on their shoulders and carried them to the lobby where legions of fans who waited til after RAW to be the first to congratulate them from the wrestling universe.

"What is wrong with you?" LC asked her father as ATM hi-fived each other for making sure the wedding took place as planned.

"No what's wrong with you, forcing Seth Rollins to say the Sinner's Prayer, you know that's not how it goes?" Remi Michaels asked LC.

"We didn't force him we just gave him some informaton, he can make the decision all on his own," LC replied.

"The only reason he wanted to accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour was to make his best friend Roman Reigns happy, that's false conversion," RJ argued.

"Gees guys whose side are you on?" Cameron asked his future brother in-law.

"Don't say that Cameron, there's a way to evangelise and you gave Seth a misguided understanding of what it means to be a Born Again Christian," RJ said angrily. "You're lucky he didn't finish saying the Sinner's Prayer or we'll all be a lot of trouble,"

"I don't know about that RJ, Seth made Jesus laugh," LC argued. "How much trouble can we be in?"

"Not as much trouble as you are all going to be in for letting this sham of a wedding go ahead," Stephanie said. "You have no idea what you just did. You just put Sacha in danger of being an accessory to attempted murder,"

"Stephanie why are you still here?" Shawn said.

"This is my hotel! By the way who's going to clean up all this confetti?" Stephanie said and Jeff frowned at her.

"You wanna fill me in on you being in love with Hunter still?" he asked her.

"Seth Rollins is a liar he'll say anything to get out of trouble and believe me he is in big trouble," Stephanie said.

"The only one that's lying is you," Trish said firmly and now all eyes were on the Truth: Trish Stratus. "Tell the Truth Stephanie, tell Jeff that Seth wasn't lying. You are still in love with Hunter,

Jeff got hot and stormed out of the conference suite.

"Damn it Stephanie! What was all that about Seth being responsible for what happened to Chyna?!" Hunter asked his ex-wife who was now vibrating with rage.

"You think that look is going to scare me?" Trish said to her.

"You just couldn't keep your damn mouth shut could you Stratus?" Stephanie said venomously.

"No I can't it comes with the job. To answer your question Hunter she made up that whole story about Seth because she asked Seth to cover for her and he refused. She threatened him and the Shield and that's when the witch of the Hudson River entered her," Trish said and Hunter noticed Alexa Bliss's fingers moving really fast.

"Oh is alright if I tweet this?" Alexa asked Hunter.

"Yeah, tell the whole world what I've known for years; that my ex-wife is a no good, two faced, lying bitch," Hunter said and he ran to catch up to Seth and Sacha to congratuate them on their wedding and to apologise for almost ruining it.

"A no good, two-faced, lying bitch - got it." Alexa said before leaving with Big E to catch up with Hunter.

"I'm so sorry you guys I really thought Stephanie had changed, looks like she's the same evil witch she always was," Hunter said.

"No problem Boss, forget about it. You wanna take a picture with us?" Seth said to Hunter.

"Absolutely," he said. "And you have my blessing,"

"I told you I don't believe in blessings," Seth said.

"I could have sworn I heard you say the Sinner's Prayer while Amy and Shawn were wrestling me to the ground," Hunter said.

"I never got through it, I'll finish saying it tonight," Seth said.

"After you've had sex with Sacha?" Hunter asked inappropriaately.

"Well I didn't think I had to be that specific, but yeah after," Seth said.

"Babe you don't have to make a big deal out of it," Sacha said.

"I thought it was a big deal," Seth said.

"No its not even I know it," Hunter said and he told Seth the Sinner's Prayer which Seth repeated.

"That's it, you are now a Born Again Christian," Hunter said and Sacha wrinkled her forehed.

"Are you sure that was the Sinner's Prayer?" she asked Hunter.

"No wait, I think it was a Catholic Prayer I found in Shawn's old Bible that he told me to say years ago. I might have adjusted it slightly," Hunter said.

"So that part about not worshipping the Pope inspite of his threat of imprisonment, I wasn't supposed to say that?" Seth said.

"Let's go ask Shawn for help on this, thanks Hunter but I think we'll stick to the experts," Sacha said.

"I'm an expert, Jesus loves me!" Hunter said and he saw the look on his daughter's face while Joanie shook her head.

"What were you thinking believing Stephanie?" Chyna asked him and Hunter shrugged.

"I guess I just really believed that she had changed," Hunter said. "I guess I was wrong, I guess I'll always be wrong where Stephanie is concerned,"

"It could have been worse, if Alexa hadn't been Sacha's maid of honour it might have been too late. God bless that little thing," LC said. "We kind of look like each other did you notice that, except my eyes are brown and her's are blue,"

"I love brown eyes," Chyna said kissing Hunter who smiled fondly.

"I would say I love green eyes but given that the last green-eyed woman I fell in love with turned out to be Steph, I'll just admire your cheekbones instead," Hunter said and LC laughed.

"Cameron's eyes are blue, God sure loves diversity," LC said.

"He sure does, I mean look at Seth and Sacha, who knows what racial combo those two are and they are one prayer away from being a Christian couple,"

LC was right as Seth was talking to Shawn right now as fans continued to photograph Sacha in her rather large wedding dress that seemed to be covering a rather large sweater.

"Is that a new style or something?" one of the fans asked Sacha.

"Well it is kind of cold in here," Alexa Bliss argued coming to Sacha defense, "Can you please get outta here and stop people from taking your picture with that ridiculous sweater on!"

"I like it I look cool," Sacha said and Alexa frowned.

"Do you not remember our conversation about Seth derserving a woman who knows how to take care of herself?" Alexa said. "The sooner Seth gets you to bed the better,"

"Bed?" Sacha said confused.

"Yeah you guys have got to hit the road tomorrow and you need your beauty sleep," Alexa replied. "You can save the sex for your honeymoon,"

"Honeymoon? Do you know how long that'll take? We're on tour after tomorrow, we've got to have sex tonight," Sacha said and Alexa shook her head.

"There's no way you're having sex tonight, Seth's gonna be full of Christian stuff he's not gonna wanna have sex with you after he says the Sinner's Prayer. Christianity has a weird effect on men's sexual drive," Alexa said and Sacha got nervous.

"I don't know if Seth should wait any longer than he has to, maybe he should say the Sinner's Prayer later," Sacha said but it looked like Shawn had already gotten Seth to say it. As HBK hugged the former WWE Champion, Sacha decided then and there that something's were more important than romance and Seth giving his life to Christ was certainly up there in the list of the most important things.

Remi and RJ were less impressed but their parents seemed okay with it.

"He's only converting for Roman Reigns, I can't believe our parents can't see how much trouble this is going to cause everyone," RJ Orton said.

"Do you think its possible we're wrong about this?" Remi asked her future husband.

"Have we ever been wrong Remi? RJ asked her and Remi pulled a long lock of her red hair behind her ear.

"Not yet, but I gotta tell you RJ I wouldn't mind being wrong about this," Remi said and they went over to Trish and Randy to argue with them about Seth's conversion to Christianity and whether or not it was actually a true conversion or just false hope.


	23. Being the Boss

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Three - Being the Boss

Engimatic Hotel, New York

As Sacha tried to pull off her sweater Seth had his eyes way down in the hotel Bible. Sacha had been really struggling with the sweater and she wanted to make love to Seth before they were too busy to see each other. Eventually she pulled so hard at the sweater she ended up toppling off the huge honeymoon suite bed.

"You okay babe?" Seth asked Sacha who suddenly yawned.

"I can't get my sweater off," Sacha said frustrated.

"That's okay," Seth said. "You know it says here that Jesus healed the sick, do you think that includes cancer?" Seth asked Sacha.

"Of course, he healed all sickness and disease," Sacha said going over to Seth and showing him where it said Jesus healed all sickness and disease.

"Okay so that means he can heal Roman from cancer, right?" Seth said.

"Well I believe God already healed Roman we're just waiting for the doctor to confirm it," Sacha said.

"Well I believe Roman's still sick so I need Jesus to move fast. I can't go through another year with Roman sick." Seth said. "Shawn said I have to read Mark 11 verse 23."

"I'll help you," Sacha said as they turned to the famous Scripture where Jesus told his disciples to have faith in God.

"Okay so it says here that even a little bit of faith can move mountains, so I don't need to sacrifice any animals or anything that's great!" Seth said and Sacha laughed.  
"That would have been way messy."

"The Jews used to do that but Jesus said that the only way to the Father was through him, so the animal sacrifices weren't necessary anymore. As long as you have faith in God he will hear your prayer, that's all it takes," Sacha explained.

Seth frowned, "So if that's all it takes and you and Roman have faith in God, why is Roman not healed yet?" he asked puzzled.

"Like I said Seth I believe that Roman is healed, it just needs to manifest so the doctor can confirm it," Sacha replied and Seth shook his head.

"No that's not right I just don't think you were praying hard enough, it says here that these lepers were instantly healed by Jesus, so was Jairus' daughter and the woman with the issue of blood for twelve years," Seth said and Sacha was impressed.

"Wow Seth, you are really getting into your Word," Sacha said and her heart swelled with newfound admiration for her husband.

"Well I want Roman to be healed and Jesus was really good at that," Seth said. "Its really quite impressive how many people Jesus healed while he was just 30 years old,"

"Well it should be he is God after all and he loves us and he wants us to be in good health, God gets no pleasure out of seeing us suffer from sickness and disease," Sacha said and she rested her head on Seth's shoulder. She was tired now and the likelihood of Seth sleeping with her before the morning was not good. "Alexa was right, looks like we won't be making love tonight, can you read the Scriptures out loud so I can hear them?"

"I can barely read them myself, what is Bethesda?" Seth said now in the Book of John.

"It means house of kindness its where people went to get healed," Sacha said with a big yawn.

"Do you think it still exists?" Seth said.

"Seth you don't have to go all the way to Jerusalem for Roman to get healed from cancer," Sacha said wrapping her arms around Seth's waist.

"I would go to the ends of the earth for Roman to be healed from cancer," Seth declared.

"Well we're on tour tomorrow so you could do that," Sacha joked but Seth was serious.

"I mean it Sacha, let's go find this Bethesda place and see if we can get the temple owners to loan us one of their angels to heal Roman. Maybe start a franchise of healing porches right here in the USA," Seth said.

"God doesn't need a healing porch Seth, read the rest of the chapter. All you need is faith in God," Sacha said and she fell asleep on Seth.

"You're the one who needs faith in God Sacha, I got plenty of faith, I think," Seth said to himself thoughtfully. He laid Sacha on the bed and kissed her on the side of her head. He took the hotel Bible into the walk-in closet, closed the door and took his first shot at praying for Roman to be healed from cancer.

Shawn and Amy's room

Amy looked up from her pillow and saw Shawn's hand underneath her in the cradle position. Shawn was asleep but she was wide awake. She could hear someone praying and it was loud.  
She wondered if it was coming from next door but Hunter and Joanie were next door and they were out all night. Trish and Randy were across the hall and Melina and Johnny were on the other side. Amy got up and knocked on Melina and Johnny's hotel room. Melina answered wrapped in her prayer shawl.

"Hi Mel, I heard someone praying and I was wondering if I should go find out who it is. I have a feeling they might need some support, maybe a little more power. Wanna come with me?" Amy said and Melina followed Amy who brought her prayer shawl, plus an extra one for the person praying.

The voice praying led Amy and Melina to the honeymoon suite.

"Allow me," Melina said as she opened the door without a key. The Miraculous One didn't need a key as long as God was with her.

A and M saw Sacha sleeping still in her Harvard sweater which Melina removed with ease. Amy wrapped the sweater up neatly and placed it on the chair near the bed. She knelt down and pressed her hands to the closet door where Seth was praying. She asked God to strengthen Seth as he prayed for Roman to be healed from cancer.

Melina joined her after making Sacha look irresistible as she slept, fixing her hair and make up and rubbing coconut oil into her skin. When Seth finished praying he was in for a pleasant surprise Melina thought, after all it was his wedding night and it was the most important night of his life. At least it was until he gave his life to Christ, now Jesus was fast becoming his most prized possession if it meant Roman could be healed from cancer.

An hour later Seth emerged from the closet and Amy and Melina were gone. There was a prayer shawl on the bed with his name on it and it said ' Seth Rollins - Prayer Warrior'.

"Hmm, I like that better than Kingslayer," Seth said. "I wonder who put this here,"

There was a note from ATM telling him to wear the prayer shawl when he prayed. Seth wasn't sure if his prayer did anything.

He looked at the clock, it was 6am. He was sure Roman was up so he went to check on him.

"I'm gonna check on Roman," he whisphered in Sacha's ear and he kissed her softly on the ear, then again, then again, then again. Eventually Sacha smiled and cradled Seth's head with her right arm.

"Well good morning to you too," she said and they delved into a deep kiss that ended in a sweet session of love-making.

Awhile later Seth was with Roman asking him to come with him to some place called Bethesda. He told Roman to pack his things because they were going to be on a porch for awhile until an angel came to heal him from cancer.

"Seth, have you been drinking?" Roman asked Seth as Seth started to pack Roman's overnight bag. "You sound like a crazy person,"

"I'm not crazy I just don't want you to have cancer anymore and this Bethesda place is where we need to be. It says so in the Bible," Seth said. "Brush your teeth so I can pack your toothbrush,"

"Seth I know what you're talking about but I think the point of that miracle was that the man was healed by Jesus Christ, not the angel," Roman explained and Seth pulled him into the bathroom.

"Brush your teeth and let's go," Seth said and Roman shrugged.

"Okay, how are we going to explain to DX that we're going to Jerusalem to hang out at a pool waiting for an angel to come and heal me from cancer?" Roman said.

"If they didn't want me to step out in faith then Shawn should never have told me the Sinner's Prayer. Now that I know how this thing works I'm gonna work this Bible to death, sorry... I didn't mean to talk about death," Seth said and Roman frowned.

"Seth I'm not gonna die, in fact, since you and Sacha got married I've been feeling great. I called my wife this morning and she even asked me if I was feeling better, she said I sounded like my old self," Roman said and those words lit up Seth's face.

"Your wife said that? Wow, that prayer stuff really does work!" Seth said and Roman frowned at him.

"What do you mean, were you praying for me or something?" Roman asked Seth while spitting out toothpaste and opening the mouthwash.

"Yeah, I was in my hotel closet all night praying for you. ATM even came to help me and they left me this really nice table cloth with my name on it," Seth said and Roman spat out the mouthwash before he even rinsed.

"You were actually praying for me?" Roman said and Seth nodded.

"Yeah and its working, now after we make this trip you'll be totally healed, so come on I've gotta tell Sacha we're postponing our honeymoon for a little bit," Seth said and Roman almost cried.

"I can't believe you prayed for me Seth," Roman said and Seth smiled at him.

"Whatever it takes to get you cancer-free brother," Seth said.

"Did you make love to Sacha?" Roman asked him changing the subject.

"Yes I did, I'll be back in a second, we can talk all about it on the way to Jerusalem," Seth said and Roman hoped Seth wasn't serious about this Bethesda trip. He didn't realise that all he needed to do was to keep praying for him.

"What did your prayer shawl have written on it?" Roman asked Seth as they went to get Ambrose.

"Seth Rollins - Prayer Warrior," Seth said and Roman felt his stomach flip as faith started to rise inside of him. "Pretty cool huh?"

"You have no idea," Roman said. "Now it all makes sense,"

"What makes sense?" Seth asked Roman as they knocked on Dean and Renee's door.

"The Shield, it all makes sense. One of the most powerful prayers is when your friends pray for you, all I needed was for you to pray for me and that would be enough, thank you Seth," Roman said.

"Don't thank me I didn't write this thing, I'm just following the instructions. Jesus gets all the credit for healing you buddy, I'm just the leg man," Seth said.

"You mean the Prayer Warrior," Roman said as Dean appeared at the door looking dishevelled.

"Too much alcohol?" Seth asked Dean who looked like he needed shower.

"No not enough, I was up the whole night with Hunter and Joanie. They drank me and Renee under the table, we just couldn't keep up. I don't think Hunter's in any condition to work, we might have to run Smackdown tonight guys," Dean said and Seth and Roman frowned.

"Hunter doesn't drink," Seth said.

"Then who was I drinking with?" Dean said and an intoxicated Jeff Hardy stumbled towards the door looking for his cell-phone.

"Oh man last night was great, thanks for teaching me that new game. I'll never look at your wife the same way ever again," Jeff said.

"Sorry I thought you were Hunter, I was sure he was here talking about Stephanie McMahon," Dean said.

"No that was me, thanks for the advice by the way I'm definitely going to give it some serious thought," Jeff said and Roman and Seth exchanged worried glances.

"Jeff you should not be drinking, especially over Stephanie McMahon," Roman said. "Come hang with us, we'll make you forget all about that witch,"

"Already forgotten her name," Jeff said.

"Its Stephanie," Dean said and Jeff shot him an evil look, "What I had to make sure you didn't have dementia I mean what kind of husband forgets his wife's first name?"

"The kind that doesn't love his wife anymore," Jeff said. "I'm sorry Seth I know you just got married but I'm a little bummed out on the whole marriage thing right now,"

"Hey I would be too if Stephanie was my wife," Seth said.

"It could be worse I guess," Jeff said and Seth frowned.

"How could it be worse?" he asked and Jeff looked at Roman who looked down feeling really bad now that he understood why Jeff was looking at him. "I could be dying of cancer," Jeff explained to make himself clearer.

What happened next will be recorded in the form of a police report.


	24. Travel Sickness

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Four - Travel Sickness

The Enigmatic Hotel, New York

Hunter read the police report and gave it to Shawn who couldn't believe it and he turned to the Ortons who were ignoring his angry eyes.

"Why didn't you guys tell us that Seth was going to attack Jeff in the morning?" Shawn asked them.

"It wouldn't have helped Shawn, it was going to happen whether you spoke to him or not," Trish said.

"He just gave his life to Christ now he's beating up a man who just found out that his wife is in love with another man," Shawn said. "This is terrible,"

"Not just another man, the man," Hunter corrected Shawn and he ripped up the police report in front of Stephanie who insisted that Jeff call the police when she saw him and have Seth Rollins arrested. Nothing would give Stephanie more pleasure than to see Seth behind bars but that didn't work out because Jeff did not want to press charges. Stephanie had the police report filed anyway in her husband's defense.

"Knock it off Hunter this is serious, I can't think of a worse way for Seth to start his Christian walk," Shawn said as Hunter flung the police report on the ground.

"Hey pick that up this is my hotel and it was my husband that was attacked by your precious Shield member," Stephanie said and Hunter teassd Stephanie.

"What do you say we put all this ugliness behind us and go upstairs and make love for the rest of the day?" Hunter said and Stephanie gasped while the police officer tried not to laugh.

"Are you serious right now?" Stephanie said turning to the police officer annoyed. "My husband is attacked in his own hotel and your laughing at my ex-husband's stupid jokes?"

"I'm sorry but it was pretty funny, did you want me to take this torn up report and file it Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley Hardy?" the police officer asked Stephanie McMahon.

"Hunter you need to get Seth to take some responsibility for his actions, he needs to work for me in the kitchen for at least a month without pay," Stephanie said.

"Man that would be punishment," Hunter said and Stephanie hit him on the shoulder.

"Either that or he goes to jail for assaulting the owner of this hotel chain," Stephanie said.

Hunter knew Seth would rather go to jail than work for Stephanie but a criminal record would throw a serious spanner in the works if Seth wanted to take Roman to Jerusalem.

"Okay I'll talk him into it, just drop the charges okay, it was a crime of passion. Seth is very protective of his big brother and Jeff was in a very bad place no thanks to you and your undying love for me," Hunter said.

"You better and by the way, why is Seth so protective of Roman, its not like they really are brothers. You called the Shield up from NXT they didn't even know each other before that. The Shield was a business deal, plain and simple and you all need to grow up and stop playing wrestling," Stephanie said. "Look at me, I am the owner of a thriving, profitable hotel chain and we're expanding every month. Can you say the same about that little wrestling company that you stole from my father before he died?"

"That little wrestling company is how the Shield got to know each other and it how they became brothers," Hunter said. "Yes Stephanie, they became brothers. Just like me and Shawn became brothers, I guess that's something a McMahon will never understand,"

"All brothers cause is trouble and I want Seth in my kitchen this Saturday on clean up detail," Stephanie said. "Or he's going to jail,"

Stephanie left with a smirk, a very satisfied smirk and Shawn shook his head in revulsion.

"One way or another the McMahon's always get their way," he said. "I'll break the news to Seth,"

"Where's Amy?" Hunter said looking for his favorite red-head.

"She's with Jeff trying to talk him out of taking Dean Ambrose's advice," Shawn said.

"Which is?" Hunter enquired curiously.

"To buy this stuff called Soleil Blanc and date a black chic, his words not mine," Hunter said and Shawn laughed knowing Amy was doing the same.

"Come with me you two, I don't want anymore surprises today.  
If there is anything I need to know about Seth I want to know it before we leave New York today," Shawn said to the Ortons who nodded.

"I think we've caused enough trouble for one day by keeping quiet," Trish said and they followed Shawn to find Seth and let him know what his punishment was going to be for attacking Jeff Hardy.


	25. A Friend in Need

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Five - A Friend in Need

**Author's Note: This chapter contains scenes of a sexual nature and is not suitable for younger readers.**

Smackdown, West Virginia, 8pm

After Smackdown went live DX called ATM and asked how Seth and Sacha were doing. Amy said they were doing a lot better and that Seth was still set on going to Jerusalem with Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose on Thursday.

"But what about Seth's honeymoon?" Hunter asked Shawn.

"Sacha's going to wait until they come back," Shawn replied and Hunter smiled.

"What a girl, Stephanie would never have let me postpone our honeymoon so I could get you healed of cancer Shawn," Hunter said.

"I know," Shawn said. "Joanie said tell Hunter to remember he's lucky to have me,"

Joanie was with ATM who were still in New York with Sacha, Seth, the Shield and the rest of the RAW locker room.

"Tell everyone to travel safe to Chicago," Hunter said and Shawn passed the message on. "With Stephanie on the rebound you never know who's safe in New York,"

"Everyone says you married the right woman," Shawn told Hunter speaking of Joanie and Shawn hung up after telling Amy he loved her. "Man this has got to be so rough for Jeff, especially with Seth and Sacha just getting married,"

"Stephanie's a loser and Jeff needed the ultimaate wake up call, finding out how Stephanie continues to feel about me after all this time was just that - a wake up call," Hunter said with his eyes on AJ Styles leaving the gorilla position.

"And if we know Steph, this is only the beginning. Everytime Steph acts up things get really rough for the DX family and the wrestling world in general. It's a good thing the Shield are going to Jerusalem," Shawn said sitting next to Hunter.

"Yes and we're going with them," Hunter said and Shawn frowned.

"No we're not, why would we go with them Hunter that would be the last thing they want," Shawn argued.

"I want to be there for them, especially Roman. The lie Stephanie told about Seth really damaged my relationship with him, what better way to show them that we care about them than by going with them on their healing trip to Jerusalem?" Hunter replied. "Plus if Jesus returns we'll have a front row seat,"

Shawn shook his head, "When Jesus returns it won't matter where you are you'll hear him, trust me on that," Shawn said.

"What if I'm in the shower and I've got my music on real loud?" Hunter asked and Shawn sighed.

"You would still hear him. Imagine what thunder sounds like turned to the highest volume ever invented. He would be louder than that," Shawn said.

"So he won't need a mic?" Hunter said and Shawn took off his headset and headed to the gorilla position before he threw Hunter head first into the sound board for being such a Bonehead.

"You better thank God you got a son at Harvard, only he could be smart enough to put up with you. I need a time out," Shawn said watching AJ Styles wrestle Daniel Bryan. "You think some of the other Superstars will want to come to Jerusalem with us?"

"Sure let's invite everybody they care about Roman too, as long as they realise its not a work thing," Hunter said. "I intend on doing as little work as possible,"

"You mean like now?" Shawn said as Hunter missed a cue for AJ's finisher. "Oops, AJ's not gonna like the fact that I missed the Styles Clash, maybe a trip to Jerusalem will be my apology to him,"

"This isn't a trip for AJ Styles, this is a trip for Seth in his first walk in Christian faith, even though he totally blew it with Jeff this morning. That kid needs to learn to control his temper," Shawn said and Hunter rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Easy there oh Indignant One, it doesn't take much to set you and Amy off. The slightest thing causes you guys to go nuts, how is Seth sticking up for Roman any different from what you guys do when people piss you off?"

"You are a Bonehead," Shawn replied. "You know the difference between what Seth did and what me and Amy do,"

"So you won't admit that its the same," Hunter said.

"No, its not the same and you know its not the same, you're just trying to make a point based on nothing like always," Shawn replied.

"So you're saying I'm a Bonehead," Hunter replied and Shawn nodded. "Well this Bonehead doesn't care what you think,"

Shawn refused to leave the curtain all night afraid that sitting next to Hunter would give him a brain disease. He was looking forward to the trip to Jerusalem though, he wondered what Seth was hoping to achieve. If it was what they all wanted it was bound to be the most important trip of the year.

Meanwhile back in New York...

The Ortons told the RAW locker room that they would not be leaving New York until the next day because of a delay. The delay was the witch of the Hudson River, it seems that she had come back after Seth Rollins attacked Jeff Hardy which gave ATM great cause for concern. So it meant that the RAW locker room was staying put for the time being until the witch of the Hudson River had been dispatched again.

Randy Orton and John Morrison kept Seth with them much to Sacha's sadness, it eventually got too much for her and she insisted on being with him too.

"Trish I don't understand why I can't be with my husband right now, he needs me I'm his wife we should be together," Sacha protested.

"This is a very dangerous time Sacha, the witch of the Hudson River is loose and Randy and John just want to make sure Seth hasn't opened himself up to her attack," Trish explained and Sacha covered her mouth in shock.

"You think Seth could be in trouble?" Sacha said. "I'll deal with that witch, where she at? If she even tries to touch a hair on my husband's head I'll send her to Hell in tears!"

"Its not like that Sacha, this is a different type of fight, one that you are not equipped to fight. I don't know all the details yet but whatever happened with Jeff and Steph has put this city in serious jeapardy. Since Seth is now a Prayer Warrior it is likely that the witch will target him. Randy and John just want to prepare Seth for an encounter with this spirit that can manifest in many different forms," Trish said and Amy squeezed Sacha's shoulder.

"Its for your protection too," she explained gently. "Now that you and Seth are married, we want to make sure he is able to protect you from the witch too,"

"So what are Randy and John doing, are they just praying for Seth?" Sacha said. "I can do that,"

ATM shook their pretty heads, "No," the said in unison.

"Then what are they doing to my husband?" Sacha said nervously.

"They're giving him power," Melina said. "It comes from God but it can only be transferred when Randy and John push it into him,"

"Does it hurt, this power transfer?" Sacha said.

"Well it depends on where Seth is in his Christian walk. If he's in the flesh he'll fight it, but if his heart is open to Jesus Christ like he prayed that he would be, then it should be a piece of cake," Trish replied.

"I see, well given that Seth spent all of our wedding night praying for Roman in his hotel room closet, I feel good about this power thing going well," Sacha said.

"So you're saying that you think is heart is ready?" Amy asked and Sacha nodded.

"Even though he pummelled a hungover Jeff Hardy for talking smack to Roman Reigns within hours of saying those prayers," Melina said and Sacha sighed.

"Okay so he's a little rough around the edges, he's been in the Shield a lot longer than he's been a Christian guys give him a break," Sacha replied in her husband's defense.

"That's why Randy and John are with him now, if he's not ready for this it'll come out tonight that he's not ready. If he is, the power will rest with him in peace, if he isn't it'll stay with God, simple," Trish explained and Sacha sighed heavily.

"When Seth gave his life to the Lord I was so happy and I know Roman was over the moon. I just hope he hasn't blown it," Sacha said and ATM embraced her to show her support.

"Any step towards God brings challenges, what Seth is going through is no different than what any of us went through when we first became Christians," Amy explained. "We didn't know anything about the Anointing,"

"Or the Truth," Trish added.

"Or miracles," Melina added.

"But look at us now, we're ATM over a decade later, we're stronger than ever before and the enemy is not happy about that," Trish said.

"And now that we're bringing in more people like Seth into the Kingdom of God, the enemy is even madder," Melina said.

"That's why we're still here in New York, the enemy doesn't want Seth to take Roman to Jerusalem because he doesn't want him to be healed of cancer," Trish said.

"But by the grace of God, we'll win again and the enemy is defeated," Amy declared.

"Amen," they all said together.

"Amen," Sacha said and a little while later, Randy knocked on Trish's bedroom door.

"He's ready," he told his wife referring to Seth and ATM headed to the guest bedroom where Seth was sitting with Roman and Dean and RJ and Remi. The latter were leaning over Seth while Roman and Dean were asleep at his feet. Sacha noticed how white Seth's skin was, it was like ivory like if she touched it the surface would ripple. Remi straightened his prayer shawl and Randy Jr rested his hands on Seth's shoulder.

"Seth, did you feel the power of God come over you when Randy and John prayed for you?" Trish asked him directly and Seth nodded.

"Sacha I'm sorry I was in here so long, are you mad that our first day as husband and wife has gone down like this?" Seth asked his wife who came over to him with slight hesitation. "What's wrong are you mad?"

"No Seth, its just the opposite. I'm crazy with love," Sacha said in admiration of her husband's spiritual growth and she kissed him lovingly on the lips.

"Careful, there's still some power over here," Randy Orton told Sacha. "It is highly contagious to other Christians,"

"Yeah you might wanna spend the night with ATM, let Seth stay with us tonight," John said. "Roman could be cancer free before the morning if Seth stays up in prayer. Going to bed with Sacha might impede the healing process,"

"No problem," Sacha said and Seth sighed.

"I wanna sleep with my wife," he complained.

"You can sleep with me tomorrow okay?" Sacha said seeing the ripple of frustration in Seth's face, she wanted to sleep with him too.

Trish saw both their frustration and God told her to call an audible.

"Actually you guys go to bed, we'll stay here with Roman," she said and Seth and Sacha looked at her nervously.

"Are you sure Trish? Is that the right thing to do?" Seth asked Truth.

"Hey I'm the Truth: Trish Stratus I can't lie and I only say what God tells me to say, its fine go have sex. We'll see you in the morning," Trish said firmly and she didn't have to repeat herself again. Seconds later ATM were alone with Randy, John, RJ and Remi and Seth and Sacha were in bed making love.

"God bless those newlyweds," John Morrison said and Melina hugged him remembering when they were newlyweds. The first few weeks of Seth and Sacha's marriage was very important and God wanted to make sure they enjoyed it, even with the witch of the Hudson River around. It was nothing ATM couldn't deal with and now that the power of God was with Seth, the witch's plans were going to fail for sure.

Sacha caressed Seth's warm body enjoying every second of his touch wandering how much power could be transferred between them now that they were married. She never thought in a million years that God would be on her mind as her husband made love to her but life was full of pleasant surprises. Seth couldn't believe he was making love to Sacha again in New York, when they should have been in Chicago leaving the Big Apple way behind. He was determined to get everything done this week; make love, rock Chicago and get Roman in the healing pool at Bethsaida, Jerusalem. The making love part was good and he still loved to wrestle in front of live crowds but there was something about praying that took him over completely. It was weird that a God he never believed existed would give him the gift of prayer that had no receipt, Seth could pray all night with no problem now. It was that easy. He pressed against Sacha and filled her up with himself before laying back and looking up at the ceiling, the sprawl of pink hair covering his chest after Sacha collapsed on his chest in pure ecstasy.

"That was amazing, Seth you're the man, I don't care what Becky Lynch says," Sacha said and Seth kissed Sacha's outstetched hand.

"No she's the man, we just have different bodies that's all," Seth replied.

"I love your body," Sacha said turning onto her belly and she straddled her husband and pulled him up to her for a deep kiss that seemed to last forever. "I want to be with you forever,"

"Done," Seth replied.

"Huh?" Sacha asked.

"Its done, you just prayed that we would be together for ever and God says it's done," Seth said.

"So we'll be together forever?" Sacha said and Seth nodded. "So that means you'll never leave me for another woman?"

"That's exactly what it means," Seth said.

"Not even Bayley?" Sacha said and Seth burst out laughing. "Its not funny Seth, she really hurt me when she took all her clothes off and stood naked in front of you on our wedding night,"

"Yeah well Bayley's got problems, being naked is not one of them though. Bayley's hot," Seth said and Sacha rolled her eyes.

"She's not as hot as me," Sacha said confidently.

"Well of course she isn't, you're on a whole other level of hotness Banks. What on Earth was Bayley thinking doing that though?" Seth wondered caressing his wife's hot body.

"I never found out but no worries, Alexa is already on it. We'll know by tomorrow," Sacha said and Seth kissed his wife gently.

"You have to forgive her you know, you can't hold any grudges against Bayley for what she did," Seth said seriously. "I've been reading up on what Jesus said about forgiveness and he said that if we don't forgive each other, then God won't forgive us. If you don't forgive Bayley for what she did, then I won't get my prayer for Roman to be healed of cancer answered. Please forgive her Sacha," Seth pleaded with his wife and Sacha nodded with a deep breath.

"Of course I'll forgive her Seth, I want Roman to be healed too. I just wish this never happened, I thought Bayley would be my best friend forever, the Bayley I loved would never do anything like that to me. She really hurt me baby," Sacha said and Seth rubbed his wife's warm sun-kissed shoulders compassionately, "That feels good," Sacha said letting Seth's hands run up and down her long neck.

"Bayley who right?" Seth said changing the subject enjoying the vision of his wife's post bliss moments. He could really get used to being married to the Boss. He pulled her towards him with a strong embrace and they proceeded to make love again, all night in fact, while the rest of the Orton household decoded the next series of events that were about to take place that night in New York that were far less pleasant.


	26. Friday the First

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Six - Friday the First

**Author's Note: This chapter contains mildly sexual language and may not be suitable for younger readers.**

Chicago, IL, 8am

Seth opened the hotel room door to an amused Roman Reigns.  
Everyone was downstairs eating breakfast waiting for the Big Dog to return and finish his pancakes which had been made especially for him as it was a very special day today.

"Are you ready to eat?" Roman said as Seth rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"What time is it?" Seth asked.

"Its 8 o'clock, Sacha's your wife now and we're all very happy about it," Roman replied.

"I know Sacha's my wife, she's supposed to be going on a PR tour in California while we're in - oh my God! Why aren't you packed Roman, we're supposed to be going to Jerusalem today!" Seth said realising what day it was.

"Um Seth, what day do you think it is?" Roman asked Seth.

"Its the day after Smackdown, so that means its Wednesday.  
We gotta get ready to fly out to Jerusalem tonight, where's Ambrose?" Seth said flying around his room getting his things together rapidly.

"Actually Seth its not Wednesday, its Friday the First," Roman said and Seth looked at him like he was speaking Chinese.

"Friday the First is not until next week Roman, its the 25th dummy," Seth said.

"Yeah last Friday, this Friday is the First," Roman replied.

"That doesn't make any sense our flight to Jerusalem was scheduled for the 24th, how can it be the Friday the First today?" Seth said.

"I don't know maybe because you spent a whole week in bed making love to your wife and when you broke for a few minutes you stayed up all night praying until you broke for a minutes and made love to your wife some more. Welcome back to the world Seth Rollins were people don't have sex every day for a week straight," Roman said and Seth laughed.

"Okay that did not happen, I would have remembered if Sacha and I hit it for that long, you are a liar Roman Reigns, it is Thursday which means our flight is in a few hours now get packed. We're going to Jerusalem to get you healed of cancer," Seth said and Roman showed him a Rusev Day calendar and pointed to today's date.

"See right there next to Rusev's head? Its Friday the First, we missed our flight to Jerusalem a week and a day ago," Roman said and Seth snatched the calendar out of Roman's hand.

"I couldn't have," Seth said in disbelief.

"But you did and you enjoyed every minute of it, well done brother you finally found the right woman to lose your viriginity to. Any woman that can keep up with you in the bedroom is a keeper as far as I'm concerned and Sacha held her own," Roman said.

"What are you talking about Roman, where is Sacha how could she let me miss our flight so we could make love all week long?!" Seth said and he grabbed his cell-phone and sent Banks an angry text. "I hope you're sore as Hell," he said in his text message and Roman grabbed the phone and deleted it before it could reach Sacha.

"You cannot say that to your wife, and I'm sure she's got more to give you so you better be nice to her; you have someone to come home to now, don't blow it because of me," Roman said and Seth pouted.

"But that was the only day I had free, now we're never going to get to Jerusalem and heal you of cancer," Seth said and Roman smiled at Seth's determination for him to be healed.

"Thanks brother that means a lot to me," he said and Seth got an idea his face lighting up like a light bulb. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking instead of going to Jerusalem, let's just do it right here in the USA!" Seth said. "We'll go to Bethesda right here in America, Jesus still has to show up no matter where we go right? So he'll go to whatever Bethesda we can get to,"

"Is there a pool in Bethesda, Ohio?" Roman said thinking of the only Bethesda nearby. "I don't think there is Seth,"

"Look I'm out of options and I have to work with whatever I got. Sometimes you just gotta name it and claim it Roman and I decree that there will be a pool at Bethesda, Ohio where an angel will show up to heal you from cancer tonight!" Seth said.

"So do I still have to pack?" Roman said.

"No leave your stuff, Bethesda is just a few miles from here. We'll go after breakfast, I hope you guys left me some pancakes," Seth said taking Roman by the shoulders and heading to the breakfast lounge where everyone was waiting for them.

Meanwhile back in New York City...

Sacha Banks was eating breakfast too, only she was with Alexa Bliss and Ember Moon, her new two best friends. Alexa had given her a breakdown of what was going on with Bayley; since Seth and Sasha got married, Bayley had all but disappeared off the face of the planet.

"So you've forgiven her have you?" Alexa asked Sacha who nodded.

"Yeah I promised Seth I would and I don't want to make my husband upset with me. Especially since he's a Christian now and I have to respect his wishes," Sacha said and Ember Moon frowned.

"Is there an or else at the end of that sentence?" she asked Sacha as the Boss sipped her black coffee.

"Or else, Roman doesn't get healed of cancer and I go to Hell for being a hateful person who cared more about her own ego than about the wellbeing of one of the best guys in the whole world. At least that's how Seth puts it," Sacha explained.

"Is that how you feel for real though?" Alexa asked Sacha who nodded.

"I mean I'm still really mad but on the inside I know Seth's right, plus I believe in God too and He is very clear about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive others when they hurt you. Forgiveness means so much to God, He put it in the Lord's Prayer. Also when your husband stays up all night praying for his friend and makes love he deserves my agreement to forgive Bayley. I've never seen a man pray so hard in my life, if Roman's not healed by this weekend I won't know how Seth will react," Sacha said and Ember furrowed her brow.

"So what you're saying is Roman is more important to Seth than you are?" she asked Sacha bluntly and Sacha shook her head.

"No I'm not saying that, you see, Seth's got a gift now. He got it when Randy Orton and John Morrison prayed for him. If you pray for anything Seth can tell you if your prayer has been answered or not. He knew that if I didn't forgive Bayley Roman wasn't going to get healed of cancer," Sacha explained and Ember and Alexa gasped in shock.

"That is so cool!" Alexa said. "Speaking of Bayley, she's been spending a lot of time at NXT with Shayna Bazler and her crew. She's started wearing black, tight black skinny jeans and vest tops and heavy metal jewelery and big black boots, still with the side ponytail though. To be fair, she looks awesome but I'm not saying that what she did to you on your wedding night was okay because it wasn't. Do you know how long it takes men to get images of naked women out of their heads? Bayley wants Seth to remember her naked forever, she really hates you Sacha. To think all this time she wanted Seth and she didn't tell you,"

Sacha sighed, "Bayley always had a crush on Seth but she never did anything about it. I'm sure he would have dated her if she just made her feelings known, I wouldn't have stopped them, I want my friends to be happy I don't own who Seth falls in love wtih," she said. "I'll tell you something though he is not in love with Bayley and he probably never will be the same toward her now. Seth's used to girls ripping their clothes off in front of him or sending him naked photos, you should see the stuff on his phone. There are some desperate women out there guys,"

"Hey the photo I sent him was classy, I mean sure I was coming out of the shower but I had it filtered so it looked funny as opposed to sexy," Alexa said.

"Yeah and the one I sent him was in the dark with my eyes glowing, you couldn't even see my body," Ember said and Sacha rolled her eyes at them.

"Come on you guys be serious, Bayley is obviously going through some serious mental issues I need to get in touch with her. Will you come with me to NXT to talk to her?" Sacha asked Alexa and Ember.

"But she hates you Sacha, you married Seth Rollins and made me your maid of honor. She's not over that yet even if you have forgiven her," Alexa said. "If I were you I'd forget about Bayley and stay as far away from her as possible,"

"Why would I do that?" Sacha asked Alexa who lowered her eyes like she knew something that Sacha didn't know.

"I have sources in NXT and this source who shall not be named says that Bayley is plotting against you, to bring you down and destroy you so that you can no longer be in the business," Alexa said and Sacha couldn't believe it. "No this source also sent Seth a naked photo so you might wanna bear that in mind, she is however a very reliable source of NXT information and I doubt she made that stuff about Bayley trying to destroy you up,"

"Well there's only one way for me to find out and that's go to to NXT and see Bayley and ask her face-to-face. Please guys I need the support, I don't think I can go there by myself," Sacha pleaded.

"Take Seth with you," Ember said.

"Yeah that's a great idea, why don't you rip off his clothes, cover him in steak sauce and throw him in the lion's den?" Alexa said to Ember.

"Steak sauce?" Ember asked Alexa.

"You're right just Seth alone would be enough, nix the sauce and nix this idea," Alexa said to Sacha.

"I can't take Seth because he's going to Jerusalem with Roman and Dean. Please guys this is my only way to find out what's going on with Bayley. Maybe I can fix it, I just need to know what I did wrong," Sacha said.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Sacha come on she hates you can't you be satified with that?" Alexa said and Sacha clutched her heart.

"No, she's my best friend in the whole world besides you guys,  
I need answers and I want them before Seth gets back from Jerusalem with Roman," Sacha said and Ember and Alexa nodded.

"Okay we'll go with you to NXT to see Bayley," Ember said and Alexa sighed.

"I'd rather be in Jerusalem," Alexa said.

"Why? All Seth's going to be doing in praying, I guarantee you he won't be naked at any point," Sacha said and Alexa thumped her fist on the table annoyed.

"Not even when he gets into the pool at Bethesda?" she said and Ember laughed while Sacha shook her head.

"If you saw Seth naked as often as I do these days you'd be in the pool permanently," Sacha said.

"Yeah keep bragging Banks, God boy would rather pray than make love to you anyway," Alexa teased Sacha.

"I would rather be with a man that loves to pray than a man that doesn't have any relationship with God whatsoever and you can take that to the bank," Sacha said and Ember and Alexa smiled as Sacha licked the foam off of her spoon.

"You were licking that spoon a little hard," Ember observed. "Anything on your mind?"

"I'll tell you on the flight to Orlando, come on ladies let's go see Bayley," Sacha said and Alexa and Ember left with her and headed to JFK airport only to be hit with news of major delays with all flights out of New York City.

"You guys are going to have to stay put I'm afraid," Trish Stratus said seeing them at the airport along with Amy. "Melina can't get back to Egypt because all the flights have been grounded,"

"What, why are we still dealing with this? I thought you said that you fixed that witch of the Hudson River who was causing all these problems with our transportation?" Alexa asked Trish.

"We did but she's upped the ante, looks like you guys are going to need a little Divine assistance in getting to Orlando to see Bayley," Trish said and she called Beth Hardy and asked her to Transcend Sacha, Alexa and Ember to Orlando, Florida which she did. Moments later Sacha, Alexa and Ember were in the hot Orlando sun while ATM were in the shivering New York cold.

"We have got to get to the bottom of this Truth, why is the witch of the Hudson River still here? We've been praying for days for her to get out of here," Amy asked Trish.

"I don't know what's keeping her here but as soon as God tells me what's going on we can get rid of her once and for all," Trish said.

"I sure hope God tells you soon, I need to get back to Egypt and stop the coup from going down in Cairo," Melina said. "If we can't fly outta New York, why don't we drive to Boston and spend time with the Brain?"

"You mean you don't want to go to the healing pool at Bethesda, Ohio?" Trish said and Melina frowned.

"The healing pool at Bethesda, Ohio?" Melina asked confused.

"Trust me you guys do not want to miss this," Trish said and she explained to Amy and Melina what she meant as they drove to Ohio leaving the witch of the Hudson River behind for the time being.  
What God didn't tell Trish was that leaving New York City was the worst thing they could have done as there was not guarantee that once they left they would be able to return.


	27. The Healing Pool at Bethesda, Ohio

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Seven - The Healing Pool at Bethesda, Ohio

Bethesda, Ohio, 6pm

Seth dragged Roman onto the river bank while Dean Ambrose and the majority of the locker room followed them.

Roman was feeling self-conscious as Seth insisted that he wear a white gown and nothing else when getting into the pool.

"Seth whose pool are we hijacking?" Roman asked Seth as everyone followed them into a house with a pool in the back.

"It belongs to a senior Rabbi who just so happens to be a huge Seth Rollins fan, he said we could borrow it to re-create the one in Jerusalem," Seth explained.

"Why couldn't we just go to the one in Jerusalem?" Zack Ryder asked the Shield.

"Because Seth was too tired from all the love-making and didn't want to take the flight," Dean Ambrose said and Zack chuckled.

"Actuallly there are no more flights available because I overslept, shut up Ambrose, don't tell Zack Ryder I accidentally forgot that I had booked the flight for last Thursday," Seth said.

"Because you were making love to Sacha," Ambrose teased Seth.

"I was also praying really hard," Seth said.

"And that's not the only thing you were doing really hard," Ambrose continued and Renee hit him on the arm.

"The dude just got married give him a break," she said in Seth's defense.

Roman looked around, "The rabbi sure has a big house," Roman said impressed.

"Your house is bigger now get in the pool," Seth said. "Quick hurry up,"

"What is the rush?" Roman asked Seth.

"Do you not remember what happened to the man at the pool at Bethesda in the Bible? He was too slow to get in and when the angel came, the angel healed everyone else but him. I did not drive all the way to Ohio of all places for you to get bypassed by the healing angel, now get in," Seth said to Roman who looked at the pool.

"Its deep, real deep, can I get in the shallow end?" Roman asked Seth who pushed Roman into the pool.

"No that's not right Seth, look he lost his white robe!" Dean Ambrose said seeing Roman's white robe floating to the surface of the water.

"This water's nice," Roman said swimming around.

"Okay Roman put your robe back on you don't want the angel to see you naked," Seth said and Roman put on the white robe much to the disappointment of the women in attendance.

"Can I help you?" Roman said to Charlotte Flair and Mandy Rose who were gawking at him.

"Sorry but cancer patients aren't supposed to be sexy, excuse us for staring Roman," Charlotte said defensively.

"Ignore them Big Dog, how do you feel?" Seth asked Roman.

"I feel good, where's this angel at?" Roman asked Seth.

"He should be here in a minute, you just stay put," Seth said firmly.

"What are you going to do?" Roman asked Seth.

"I'm going to wait here to make sure no-one tries to jump in front of you when the angel shows up," Seth said and Ambrose nodded.

"So we're going to beat up the other people who need to be healed by the angel," Ambrose asked Seth.

"We'll take them all down if they even try to jump in before Roman gets healed," Seth said and he gave Ambrose a Shield bump while Roman frowned.

"I don't think that sounds right, I don't like the idea of you guys using Shield like tactics to stop people from being healed," Roman said and Seth watched as Mandy Rose and Charlotte Flair started to get into the pool.

"What the Hell are you two doing?" he said.

"We're getting in the pool with Roman," Mandy Rose said and the other women started to get in the pool.

"Hey that sounds like a good idea," Lio Rush said. "Right Bobby?"

"I'm in," Bobby Lashley replied taking off his sunglasses while Lio Rush took his shoes off.

Seth could not believe what he was seeing, "No guys this is a healing pool, its for sick people to get healed by the angel who will be here in a minute.  
If he comes and sees all of you in the pool he'll think its a normal pool and he'll just leave and all this would be for nothing,"

"What kind of angel is this? Surely he would know that Roman was the one he was assigned to heal?" Bobby Roode argued. "Why would he care about us?"

"Because there can only be one person in the pool now get out all of you!" Seth said. "Quick before the angel comes!"

"But the water's so nice, I feel like I'm being healed right now," Asuka said doing a backstroke.

"Whatever Asuka, get out now," Dean Ambrose said lifting the Empress of tomorrow out of the pool. He lifted all of the women out while the men followed Seth's instructions not wanting Ambrose to touch them at all.

"This is no fun," Chad Gable complained. "This angel has got time-keeping issues,"

"He'll be here," Seth said and he noticed the rabbi coming towards him.

"Is everything okay?" the rabbi asked Seth.

"Yes rabbi we're just waiting for the angel to come and heal Roman then we'll be out of here," Seth said and the rabbi frowned at him.

"Oh, you were serious," the rabbi asked Seth.

"Yes I believe that an angel is going to come and heal my friend Roman of cancer just like he did in the Bible," Seth declared.

"Okay let me know if you need anything, I'll be inside hiding from the angel," the rabbi said and Seth frowned wondering why the rabbi would hide from the angel.

"How big is this angel anyway?" Dean asked Seth.

"The Bible doesn't say but I'm sure he's the same size as us," Seth said.

"I don't know Seth, I thought angels were huge, what if he can't fit inside the house?" AJ Styles said and Seth furrowed his brow.

"Look I don't know the details I'm more of an idea guy. I just followed the instructions all we have to do now is wait for the angel to show up and God will do His part," Seth said and he reached down and squeezed Roman's shoulder. "He'll be here soon Big Dog I promise,"

"Thanks Seth," Roman said and he hugged Seth and pulled him into the pool.

"Roman let me go only one person can be in the pool," Seth said and suddenly the sky opened up and the angel descended from heaven onto the pool. Everyone looked in awe as the massive angel surrounded them with six wings and a glorious white robe so white it shimmered.

"You are healed from cancer," the angel said to Roman. "Keep your salvation at all costs,"

The angel ascended and everyone watched in amazement as the angel left the pool. Jaws were on the floor as Seth lifted Roman out of the pool and left with Dean to take him to the hospital.

Bethesda Memorial Hospital

The locker room followed and a few minutes later they were all standing at the Bethesda Memorial Hospital a few miles down from the rabbi's house.  
Roman asked the doctor to check to see if he had cancer but there was a huge list of people waiting to see the doctor and Roman had to be back on the road for a house show over the weekend.

"No we need to know now if the cancer's gone," Charlotte Flair said. "Do you know who I am? I'm a Flair damn it, now tell us if Roman Reigns has cancer or not,"

"I love Ric Flair, okay wait here I'll be right back," the doctor said to Charlotte who smiled proudly, she loved her father too. "Can you just give me one "Whoooo!"? the doctor asked Charlotte.

"Sure thing doc, whoooooo!" Charlotte Flair yelled out much to the doctor's delight.

Seth came over to her, "Thanks Charlotte, I guess you being here wasn't totally worthless after all," he said before turning to Roman. "How do you feel?"

"Like new," Roman said. "I wanted to call my wife but I thought it would be better to wait until we got the word from the doctor that I'm cancer free,"

"The angel said you are healed from cancer, why do you need the doctor to confirm what an angel of God just told you?" AJ Styles said confused. "Roman I thought you were a Christian, where's your faith? Don't you believe that you're healed?"

Roman fell silent and Seth covered for him, "AJ he's scared alright? If you ever had cancer you would understand," he said but AJ shook his head.

"I've never had cancer but I know the God I serve healed Roman Reigns today. You're an amazing friend Seth we need more people like you in the Kingdom of God," AJ Styles said.

"Hey I'm just an idea guy," Seth said modestly.

"But you do believe that Roman's healed of cancer right?" AJ asked Seth who nodded.

"I believed the minute we got to Bethesda, Ohio," Seth said.

"So you're the reason Roman got healed, your faith healed him," AJ said and Dean Ambrose smiled.

"He's right," Dean said to Seth. "Honestly I had my doubts about this whole healing pool thing but you made me believe Seth and here we are, standing in a hospital waiting room waiting for the doctor to confirm what we all want and that's for Roman to be cancer free,"

"Look guys I didn't write the Bethesda story I just carried it out, I'm the Architect that's what I do, God deserves all the credit in the world for this miracle," Seth said and the doctor came back with a flipboard looking at a piece of white paper.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing," the doctor said and everyone gasped in great anticipation, "I'm looking at your blood cells Mr. Reigns and there's no trace of cancer,"

Seth jumped on Roman and Dean did the same and the entire locker room broke out in joy, with tears in their eyes and eventually they all gathered around the Shield who were crying with Roman on the waiting room floor.

The news spread like the Gospel throughout Ohio, then all the Midwest heard and eventually the East and West Coast, the Pacific Northwest until all of the USA and the entire world knew that Roman Reigns was healed of cancer.

The Sandbox, Florida

On hearing the news DX asked the locker room to head to the Sandbox in Florida on Saturday.

Roman brought his family and showed them the doctor's report.

"The doctor said my bones were like new, he said I'm the healthiest guy he's ever met," Roman said to his wife as his children hugged him with tears in their eyes.

"I can't believe it Roman, I prayed that this day would come. When you told me you were going to Ohio to get healed I thought sure why not? I can't believe something so simple turned into the answer to our prayer," Roman's wife said and Roman kissed her lovingly. She looked at her husband in delight; he was like a new man physically from head to toe.

"Daddy tell us about the angel at the pool in Bethesda, Ohio!" he youngest daughter said excitedly.

"The angel was huge, he had six wings and was wearing a white robe that was so white it was glowing," Roman said and his daughters loved what they were hearing wishing they didn't have to go to school yesterday. They wanted to be at the healing pool at Bethesda, Ohio and they were not the only ones. Since Roman Reigns healing miracle was broadcast all over the world, thousands of people decided to take their loved ones to the rabbi's pool hoping that the angel would show up and heal them of cancer too and not just cancer, every sickness and disease you could think of. Hospitals were emptying as people from all over the country headed to the rabbi's house which was now packed with people waiting for the angel to come and heal them. When Seth found out he apologised to the rabbi.

"Those people aren't going to get healed," he said to the rabbi. "In the Bible it says that the man with the infirmity was by the pool for 38 years because he had no-one to help him into the pool and people kept jumping in front of him. Those people are wasting their time, if I were you rabbi I'd tell them to go home,"

"But they won't listen to me and I have family coming over. Seth please you have to come back and explain to these people what you just told me, I've never been good around sick people I can't have these people stay here. I've never seen anything like this, there are women, children, my pool is overflowing with sick people," the rabbi cried clearly overwhelmed by the hysterical and desperate people who wanted to be healed by the angel too.

"I have an idea rabbi, give me an hour okay?" Seth said and he called ATM. "Amy is Melina still in the country?"

"No she's gone back to Egypt to stop a hostile takeover in Cairo," Amy replied.

"There's a problem. It seems that after Roman got healed of cancer at the rabbi's house in Bethesda, Ohio people have come from all over the whole world and now their at the rabbi's house waiting for the angel to show up and heal them. I need Melina to go to the rabbi's house and heal all those people," Seth said.

"Melina can't go Seth," Amy said.

"But what about all those people that need to be healed?" Seth said.

"They need a friend like you with faith for them to be healed. Sure the angel healed Roman of cancer but it was your amazing faith that got him in the pool. Those people can stay there all day without faith and nothing will happen," Amy said and Seth nodded.

"Okay thanks Amy, I'll tell the rabbi to tell them what you said," Seth said.

"Its not what I said its what Jesus said. Well done Seth I'm sure he's very proud of you for successfully completing your first assignment as a man of God," Amy said and Seth smiled.

"It feels pretty good," Seth said with a warm feeling in his heart as Roman played with his children for the first time in months without any pain. "If this is what it means to be a Christian I'm so glad I gave my life to Jesus Christ before I married Sacha Banks,"

"Yeah its great Seth but it won't always be like this, there are going to be times when you have to fight for your salvation. There will be trials and tribulation but Jesus said be of good cheer for he has already given us the victory," Amy said.

"Okay I don't know what that means but I'll take your word for it," Seth said.

"Not my word but the word of the Lord," Amy said.

"Okay thanks Amy," Seth said and he thought about what to tell the rabbi while everyone celebrated the miracle of healing with Roman and his family. "I need to be with you Sacha," Seth said missing his wife and he left the Sandbox and headed to the Performance Center where his wife was about to have a showdown with her former best friend Bayley.


	28. Bayley Black Heart

The Bonehead and the Brain - Chapter Twenty Eight - Bayley Black Heart

Harvard University, Massechusetts Hall, Cambridge, MA, 10am

The same day RJ Orton, Remi Michaels and Angelo Jericho were in the library with Hayworth Heath Helmsley preparing for their next assignment which was due in a month. It was very exciting knowing that Roman Reigns was healed from cancer but there was concern amongst the group about how Seth Rollins got saved. RJ and Remi were of the belief that Seth gave his life to Jesus only so Roman would be healed of cancer and that he didn't really know what he was doing or what salvation and the Christian faith was all about. Hayworth disagreed and they were having quite the discussion that Saturday morning.

"After Seth got saved didn't he start praying non-stop?" Hayworth asked Remi and RJ who nodded. "That means that his faith is genuine. A person who never prayed before doesn't just start praying unless they believe that the person they are praying to is real,"

"But he doesn't understand what he did when he said the Sinner's Prayer. He doesn't know that he is a blood-washed, Holy Ghost-filled child of God now. All he knows is that Jesus heals people and that's what he wanted more than all the other things that you get when you give your life to the Lord," Remi said.

"What do you mean?" Hayworth said confused.

"Like for example, he prays non-stop and my mom said that he knows when God has answered prayer now. That's a gift from God but I don't think he knows how to use that gift. He probably doesn't even know that he can intercept prayer too," Remi said and RJ nodded.

"Well why don't you guys stop bitching about what he doesn't know and go help him figure it all out?" Angelo said annoyed with Remi and RJ who sighed. "What's up with you two?"

"We think there's something going on with RJ's parents and my parents," Remi replied and Angelo frowned.

"What are you talking about, did you hear something?" Angelo asked them and Hayworth shook his head.

"There's nothing going on with your parents, my dad talks all the time if something was going on I would know it by now trust me," Hayworth said turning the pages of his huge physics reference book.

"Well when RJ and me wanted to talk to his parents about Seth's conversion to Christianity we got in trouble. We never get in trouble," Remi explained.

"So we think something else is going on, we think our parents know something is going to happen and they don't want to tell each other about it," RJ said.

"Something like what?" Hayworth asked.

"We don't know but we're nervous about it," RJ replied.

"So Hayworth we were wondering if we could borrow your Harvard sweater, the one that Sacha Banks wore while she was engaged to Seth Rollins," Remi said and Hayworth laughed.

"Why would you want my sweater?" he said chuckling, then he stopped laughing and realised what they were getting at. "You guys wanna have sex?!" he blurted out incredulous.

"Relax we're not going to but that must be what our parents aren't telling us," Remi said.

"We figured that God must have told our parents that we were going to have sex and they got embarassed and didn't want to talk to us about it," RJ said.

"You guys are nasty," Hayworth said disgusted. "You're not even marrried yet and you're thinking about that. Have you seen sex? Its the most awkward, noisy and aggressive thing I've ever seen in my life, its like watching a couple of wild dogs fighting over a bone. I can't believe you guys wanna do that to each other," Hayworth said revolted.

"I think you're getting us confused with your science pets Hayworth," RJ said frowning and Remi looked over at Angelo who had suddenly fallen silent.

"Don't you wanna say something Angelo?" she asked her old friend.

"No, I'll go get the sweater," Angelo said getting up.

"Its in my room on my bed, for both of your sakes I pray that it still works," Hayworth said and RJ and Remi held hands and prayed.

"We hope so too," RJ said and Hayworth looked at them both suspiciously.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves. You're over here talking about Seth's salvation not being sure when you're both struggling with your own sexual immorality. If Jesus was here I know exactly what he'd tell you to do," Hayworth said as Angelo went off to get his sweater. "If you don't think you can control your sexual urges you should break up,"

Remi and RJ broke out in tears and Hayworth put his book down and hugged them both.

"Man I didn't realise you guys were going through this, all I've been thinking about is my mom coming back to life and I haven't focussed on you at all. We're family guys, you don't have to go through this alone," he said compassionately.

"Thanks Hayworth, please pray for us," Remi said as RJ wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Of course I'll pray for you Remi," Hayworth said to his god sister.

Angelo returned with the sweater which he handed to Hayworth, "Now which one of you is going to wear this?" he asked Remi and RJ.

"I'll wear it, I've got the boobs," Remi said. "I think that's why Sacha wore it instead of Seth,"

"Here you go," Hayworth said putting the sweater over Remi's head and the massive sweater covered her much smaller body. The minute the soft white cotton covered her she felt secure, safe and whole.

"How do you feel?" RJ asked her.

"I feel great and really smart," Remi replied.

"Good, then it still works. Sacha felt the same way when she wore it. Try and take it off her RJ," Hayworth said and RJ obeyed and pulled the sweater off but Remi wouldn't let him.

"Hands off RJ," she said in retaliation and Angelo and Hayworth slapped hands.

"Its working, as long as Remi keeps wearing that sweater you guys won't have to worry about having sex before you get married," Hayworth said relieved.

"Or before you graduate. Seriously guys we need to focus on passing our exams, the sex can wait. I'm not even dating I've got so much planned for after I graduate I can't afford to let my loneliness get in the way of that," Angelo said and Hayworth, RJ and Remi frowned at him.

"Did you just say you were lonely?" Remi asked him and Angelo was suddenly embarassed.

"I'm thirsty I think I'll go get some coffee," he said getting up suddenly and leaving his friends behind.

"Looks like you might have to pray for Angelo too Hayworth," RJ said to his god brother.

"Forget me praying for Angelo, let's call God's favourite prayer warrior and ask him to use his new Gift from God to pray for you and Angelo," Hayworth said and he called Seth Rollins hoping that the Prayer Warrior would answer his cell-phone.

The Performance Center, Orlando, FL, 12pm

Seth looked at his cell-phone and turned it off quickly before turning his attention back to the situation in front of him. He'd come to the PC to meet Sacha only to be confronted by the ugly sight of Shayna Bazler and her gang of misfit friends. They were trying to bully Sacha and Alexa and Ember who had come to see Bayley. Bayley was nowhere to be found and Seth wanted to leave so Sacha, Alexa and Ember could go see Roman completely healed from cancer. That was much more fun than spending five seconds in the presence of Shayna Bazler and her friends.

"Leaving so soon?" came the familiar sweet voice of Bayley from behind and Seth, Sacha, Alexa and Ember turned to see her standing in front of them, she was dressed in black from head-to-toe.

Sacha couldn't believe what she was seeing, "You look like one of them," she said nodding towards Shayna Bayzler.

"That's because she is one of us now," Shayna said muscling in-between Sacha and Seth and walking over to Bayley. "She's our best friend now, you can all go to Hell, right Bayley?"

"That's right Shayna, I'm not hanging out with you guys anymore I'm staying right here," Bayley said.

"What are you talking about?" Seth asked Bayley ignoring Shayna.

"I mean I'm not coming back to the main roster, I'm going to call Hunter and ask if I can be transfered back to NXT," Bayley said and Sacha laughed along with Ember and Alexa.

"Good one Bayley," Sacha said.

"Yeah, you really had us going for a minute there," Alexa added.

"Like you would want to spend time with these guys on purpose," Ember said pointing to Shayna and her friends.

"They are my friends now and I'd watch your mouth while you're here Ember," Bayley said and she slapped Ember much to the War Goddess' shock.

"Hey stop that!" Sacha said to Bayley.

"What are you going to do about it?" Shayna said to Sacha and Seth stepped in the middle of them.

"Nothing, guys get out of here. My car's outside go get in it and wait for me," Seth said and Alexa and Ember left for Seth's car while Sacha and Seth hung back to talk to Bayley. "What the Hell is wrong with you?" Seth asked Bayley. "First you strip naked in front of me on my wedding day, now you're hanging out with the worst human being on the planet and her friends. What is this a joke? Because if it is Bayley its not funny,"

"Yeah like she wasn't ugly enough on her own, now she's hanging out with the ugliest woman on God's great planet, nice job Bayley way-to-upgrade," Sacha said and Shayna swiped for her but Seth blocked her in defense of his wife.

"Who do you think you're talking to Sacha? You guys think you're so untouchable don't you? Well things are gonna change when you see just how bad your little friend Bayley can be without you around to hold her back," Shayna said and her friends nodded.

"So I suppose you all are responsible for this little makeover?" Sacha said looking Bayley up and down. "I have to admit black is your colour Bayley but it is not the colour of your heart. You're still a good person. Come with us and let's talk this out,"

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Bayley said and Sacha got emotional.

"Do you even care that Roman got healed from cancer yesterday? He's over at the Sandbox right now with his family and the rest of the roster, how could you not want to be there to celebrate with all of us?" Sacha said.

"I love Roman Sacha, but I hate you more and as long as you are still working for DX, I won't be anywhere near the main roster. Now get outta here and go back to where you came from before you get hurt," Bayley said spitefully and Sacha broke out in tears.

"No Bayley, you're the only one who is going to get hurt if you stay here. Shayna is just using you to get heat so that she can be called up to the main roster and when she is, she'll leave you in the dust. Who will you have to be your friends then?" Seth asked Bayley who hugged him suddenly but her hug was a little off. It wasn't the usual sweet hug that Bayley was known for, instead it was a sensual, creepy hug that made Seth feel uncomfortable. When Sacha saw the discomfort in Seth's face she broke up the hug immediately.

"Get off my husband!" she said angrily and she slapped Bayley hard across the face. "You've messed with Seth for the last time!"

"You bitch!" Bayley cried out and she jumped on Sacha and the two broke out in a fight. Shayna and her gang jumped on Seth and took him down, before Seth knew it he was passing out while Bayley was pummelling Sacha with a ferocity that was never seen in the former NXT Champion before.

Meanwhile outside Alexa and Ember decided to get help and they drove back to the Sandbox to get the only help that Seth would ever accept. They went back and got The Shield.


End file.
